GAME REVIEW | Crypto Conquers All in "Destroy All Humans!"
The world was first introduced to Crypto in 2005, when Destroy All Humans! hit then-gen consoles with fire, explosion, and enough anal probing to write several Chuck Tingle books about. After a couple of sequels, the little gray invader vanished, with no idea as to when he may return. Cut to 2019, when the ugly bastard reemerged to the sounds of Rammstein’s “Ich Will”, as THQ Nordic and Black Forest Games sought to recreate his first world conquest adventure in the remake Destroy All Humans!
Bringing us back to the 1950s, Destroy All Humans! has Crypto making plans to conquer the Earth and saving a comrade, while his boss Pox wants some brain stems to study the Earthlings. From bovine citizens and hot-shot mayors to bad agents and some well-respected journalists, Crypto aims to enslave humanity while wiping out every house, car, and soda pop joint that stands in his way. However, the government is on his trail, as they secret have their own plans to take over the American public with some anti-Commie propaganda.
As Crypto, players will have to read minds, brainwash, and occasional take the form of a human in order to infiltrate certain areas. With cops and military personnel scattered throughout the vicinity, the task of studying humans and using them for their goals is a lot easier said than done. That’s why Destroy All Humans! puts a big focus on getting the mission right before you truly have chaotic fun with the game. Do what Pox says, and then commence with the problem-solving violence.
Because of this aspect, the game can drag a little bit. The urge to just go apeshit on everything around you is strong, but doing so may involve having to start all over again. As such, the infiltration elements of the game can slow down the adrenaline that flows through every game that plays. Fortunately, there’s enough entertaining elements during these parts that keep it from being a complete bore, as evident by the dialogue you’ll hear when you read citizens’ minds.
Thankfully, after the infiltration parts of Destroy All Humans!, the real fun begins! Frying, probing, and warping humans never gets old, as the sounds of deathly terror boost the comedy to greater heights. On foot, taking down puny humans and well-armed agents is a goofy good time. However, it’s when you pilot your flying saucer when the chaos truly reigns supreme! The sight of buildings, cars, and military weaponry exploding in Jerry Lee Lewis-sized great balls of fire will make anyone grin sinisterly!
When you complete missions, players will have the ability to upgrade Cypto and his ship. These elements include upping ammo quantity, shortening reload times, and building up one’s invulnerability. It can be a slight pain to choose which to upgrade, as the points you earn can be used up rather quickly just on one item. (I found myself just picking randomly so it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle on my part.)
Visually, Destroy All Humans! is a massive upgrade to the original version. Black Forest Studios did an impressive job with Pandemic Studios’s original work, giving the overall look a sort of Pixar/Dreamworks-like flare. With that being said, it looks more like an early CGI film from those two’s studios rather than a recent one, so it can look not as great as most other PS4/Xbox One titles. There are also some clipping issues here and there, which can slow down the overall framerate of the game as you traverse through.
Although this is the same voice acting from Pandemic’s original 2005 game, it still sounds just as funny as it did back then. The duo of J. Grant Albrecht and Richard “Invader Zim” Horvitz are a delight to hear as Crypto and Pox, with the latter sounding like he’s happy to be in the role of the game’s Tallest. Pop culture references and jabs at the 1950’s way of thinking also pave the way to some laugh-out-loud moments, as well as some clever nods to classic films of that era. However, throughout my time with Destroy All Humans!, I couldn’t help but notice the annoying pops that would burst through my speakers and jolt my ear drums, something that maybe should’ve been ironed out with an update by now.
Complete it the game will take you around eight hours to do. Once it’s over, players can revisit missions to complete missed goals from the first time around. Or, if you are like me, you can just go in and raise a little harmless anarchy for the sake of some stress-relieving fun!
- A great assortment of missions
- Fun weapons
- Very funny story & dialogue
- Some missions can be repetitive
- Visually not as strong as most current-gen games
- Weird audio pops
Destroy All Humans! may lack a little polish, but it still delivers some explosively hilarious action for all to enjoy. With a plethora of missions and some funny dialogue, Crypto’s quest to conquer the world is as fun now as it was 15 years ago. If you are craving some good old fashion B-movie sci-fi goodness, then you certainly cannot go wrong with the zaniness that is Destroy All Humans!
Promotional consideration provided by Evolve PR. Reviewed on the Xbox One.