REVIEW | Retro "Angry Video Game Nerd" Game Doesn’t Suck Ass!
It’s wild to think that the Angry Video Game Nerd has been around for 21 years! The show’s so old, it’s now legally allowed to drink the same Rolling Rock that James Rolfe himself gulps down to ease the pain of playing shitty games. So how does an internet icon properly celebrate his coming-of-age day? What else? By starring in a new video game, aptly titled Angry Video Game Nerd 8-bit.
Everyone’s favorite savior, Super Mech Death Christ, has been infected and infiltrates Nerd’s NES and consoles all over the world. Now it’s up to Rolfe to go through the worlds inspired by the worst games imaginable and rescue Christ before all games are destroyed. (Yes, even the good ones.) And as the title suggests, this adventure has you taking on six levels in a classic Famicom-styled side-scroller.
Armed with a Zapper, Nerd goes through Hell, graveyards, and even the realm of Pepsiman to regain control of video games all across the world. Bats, birds, bots, and other enemies that start with the letter B attempt to lower your health, which is conveniently displayed as Nerd’s drink of choice. The more gun power-ups you find, the easier the worlds can get. But be careful, as one hit will cause you to lose both your health and a bit of gun power.
Thankfully, you can also arm the Nerd with other weapons such as grenades, bricks, and even F-bombs. These definitely come in handy during the boss battles, as parodies of shitty game “heroes” emerge to raise all sorts of hell on Nerd. And these boss battles can be tricky, especially if you lack any power-ups or secondary weapons. In fact, you might find yourself nearly losing all of your lives before you find a way to conquer these enemies. (Either that, or Shit Pickle will give you a helping…whatever he has to grab things.)
What makes Angry Video Game Nerd 8-bit a fun romp is its presentation. On top of having some imaginative twists on games’ past, Rolfe and the Cinemassacre crew even made some exclusive storyline videos to go with the game. It feels like you’re interacting with one of his YouTube videos, and I mean that in the most positive of ways. Yes, he curses like a sailor not named Popeye, but the comedy is as golden as one of King Dedede’s turds.
Plus, you have the option to take on these levels in various ways. Ergo, there’s more than one path towards victory, be it above or underground. Sometimes, if you’re lucky, you’ll even get to experience the game’s own twist on shitty titles. In one instance, the Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde parody actually makes you go through the infamous Hyde level, where enemies and other nasty hazards attempt to lower your health.
Since the game has the DNA of classic NES titles, controlling the game can be tricky. You have to constantly push the shoot button in order to fire your way through the levels, meaning you might have sore thumbs by the game’s end. Then there is the jump button, which is sometimes either delayed or — worse — doesn’t work at all. Trust me when I say that when this happens, you’ll get just as rage-filled as the Nerd himself.
One final issue with the game is its length. I was able to beat Angry Video Game Nerd 8-bit in 90 minutes. Of course, this was on the Easy mode. Odds are, if you try for Normal or Hard, it’ll take you a whole lot more time to save Super Mech Death Christ. Fortunately, thanks to the many paths in each level, there’s plenty of replay value to be had with it.
PROS:
- Very funny story, great FMV segments
- Terrific homages to games past
- Lots of good challenges
CONS:
- Boss battles are a pain
- Jump sometimes doesn’t work
- Short runtime
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Rolfe once again takes us back to the past in his own way, as Angry Video Game Nerd 8-bit delivers some terrific nostalgic fun and R-rated humor. It can get frustrating in places, but perhaps that’s the Nerd’s way of putting us in his shoes. If you’re looking to play a game that both kicks ass and kicks your ass, then Angry Video Game Nerd 8-bit is just the remedy for you. Just be careful of those glitches, bitches!
FINAL GRADE:
Promotional consideration provided by Justin Silverman of Retroware. Reviewed on the PC via Steam. In stores October 23rd! Click here for more info!
