Ooooooh yeah, don't you dare miss this all-new episode of the Boston Bastard Brigade, or else someone's gonna put the hurt on ya!

This week the Bastards take their hats off to pay tribute to the late "Macho Man" Randy Savage, as well as recover from two bad games in the Boston sports world. King Baby Duck tells you why you need to see Guitar Wolf live, and Blueonic shares his experiences with the recent Deftones concert. King Baby Duck reviews Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, and he and Anvil give their reasons why Bridesmaids is one comedy you can't miss. Finally find out why the demo for Sega Rally Online Arcade disappoints.

It's all right here in Episode 96: Raise Your Slim Jims To The Sky!

After trying the demo for Raskulls (and after falling off my chair from laughing too hard for the sixth time) I decided to give the full game a whirl. 800 points and four hours later I felt kind of cheated. Yes, it was filled with great laughs and silly premises, but the main gameplay left me will an unsettling sensation in my stomach.

Raskulls, the new platformer from Halfbrick and Microsoft Game Studios, follows the adventures of the title characters as they do everything in their power to protect the Shiny Stones from the evil Pirats (no typo here, they're rat pirates). Gamers tackle three gaming worlds where they take on various levels that involve digging and racing enemy characters, time-limited races to the finish, boss battles that involve racing to the finish, best lap rounds and bomb diffusion rounds. (You can also use power-ups to run or dig faster.) As you can see there's not a lot of variety to the gameplay; in fact Raskulls's gameplay seems like a mediocre Mr. Driller knockoff.

That isn't to say that Raskulls isn't enjoyable. The sense of humor the game features is both cutesy and priceless, ranging from the explanation of the Shiny Stones' importance to the Raskull Kingdom to the haughty-taughty personality of the Raskull King himself. You are almost guaranteed a good chuckle every couple minutes of playing Raskulls, all without the frustration that was found in another game I reviewed a couple months back. I also liked the character designs by Daniel Vogt, whose adorable-looking visuals helped to push the humor towards the right direction.

Besides the Master Quest there is also a multiplayer mode, and unfortunately this is where Halfbrick dropped the ball the hardest. All you do with your fellow online gamers is race, race and race some more. Where are the cool mini-games? Is a Raskulls Battle Chess Mode too much to ask; or even something as overdone as a Mortal Kombat parody? I would've been really happy if there was just one other game mode that was different from what you did in the Master Quest, but alas it seemed to be too much for the developers to handle.

The controls can also be an issue. I lost count at how many times I misused a power-up while racing the clock, then having it blow up in my face and ending with a "Try Again" screen. Then there's the way the controls are configured. One type of level involves having to dig upwards so the Finish section reaches down to you before the 30-second time limit runs out. The way they have it set up makes it impossible to complete this level; not even the power-ups you're given do anything to help get to your goal any quicker.

Master Quest mode will take you around 4-5 hours to beat, depending on how good you are with the racing modes, and sadly there's really nothing else to go back to after you've beaten it. There are some added medals to collect and bonus levels to beat, but in the end you're only given what you've already done so many times before in Raskulls. The lack in replay value and gaming variety is what kills the game, almost as much as the humor kills in the storyline.

PROS:

• Great cartoonish graphics and cutesy character designs
• One of the funniest games around
• Ninja Raskull's bomb diffusion levels

CONS:

• Game gets repetitive fast
• Lacks level variety
• Controls can be a hassle

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The demo for Raskulls led me to believe that I was in for an all-out fun gaming experience with a large dose of comedy thrown in for good measure. Regrettably I was half-right on this one. The lack of different gaming styles disappointed me, leading me to believe that lazy gaming design is to blame for its mediocrity. My only hope is that more will be added to the game later on, although it better not have a 400 Xbox Points price tag on it. My advice: wait for Raskulls to go on sale sometime before you buy it, as 800 points for recurrent gaming is too much to ask for.

FINAL GRADE: 5.5 (out of 10)

The Bastards are quite joyful this week, and it has nothing to do with the holidays. (That episode's in two weeks.)

This week the B3 crew excitedly chat about the live return of two of their favorite bands, and one of King Baby Duck's favorite anime series is hitting the big screen. Anvil shares his thoughts on sports, and the trio talk about the movie The Warrior's Way. The video game nail'd is discussed more, and K.B.D. gives his two cents on the demos The Undergarden and Funky Lab Rat, Blueonic reviews the game Reload, previews the upcoming Battlefield: Bad Company 2 Vietnam and he and K.B.D. look at the demo for Unbound Saga.

With our video game realm filled to the brim with ATV racing titles such as Pure and the MX vs. ATV series it's getting tougher to find a breath of fresh air in the off-road world. Coming up in the ranks this week is the new title from developers Techland nail'd. Does it change the rules of ATV gaming, or is it just another run-of-the-mill racing title? King Baby Duck and Blueonic share their thoughts and opinions.

King Baby Duck: Coming into the world of nail'd I was a bit worried whether or not I'd be able to easily play it, much less get into it. I had issue with the control scheme in Pure, which took me out of the gaming experience numerous times while driving the ATVs. What I like about nail'd is that it offers a good, easy-to-use control arrangement that lets players jump into the world of this game with no problem whatsoever. One button to accelerate, one to brake and reverse, one to boost and the left stick to steer. You'll be able to learn how to do this in the tutorial; a tutorial that will have your eyes popping out of your head.

nail'd contains three sections of gameplay: Tournament, Go Off-Road and Multiplayer. You control either an ATV or an MX bike and have it compete in various levels and races in various locations such as Greece and Yosemite National Park. These races range from simple three-lap runs to stunt challenges, in which the highest score of the race wins. When it comes to the actual racing in nail'd gamers will drive neck-and-neck while smashing and bashing your way through the terrain. To compare the feeling of playing nail'd would be the equivalent of someone describing a roller coaster ride: lots of quick corners, big drops and high risers and heart-pounding excitement. You might find yourself hooting and hollering at your TV screen as your ATV plunges down to the ground for that perfect landing, or screaming as you collide with other players, sending them flying off-course. You might even find time slowing down around you as you play this, but in a breaking-the-sound-barrier cool sort of way.

Not all gaming modes were exciting, as I had a problem with Stunt Challenge, due to the fact that there weren't any real stunts to perform in this game. (The only "stunts" I could find were wheelies and ones involving flying through flaming hoops while airborne.) If they had added more stunts to it and utilized the D-pad and other control stick to perform said stunts it would've been a more fun mode to the game. Instead it just feels like another race mode, only tougher to come in first place. It's a gaming moment like this that makes a shiny title like nail'd look a tad rusty.

Multiplayer online mode adds more fun to the game, with players being capable of competing online with friends and other gamers all over the world. There was no lag to be found while online gaming, but an issue arose when you crash. In other racing modes when you smash your vehicle it takes a second-and-a-half to reset your position. In online mode you might find yourself waiting four seconds before you reappear on the track, thereby costing you the race. Case in point I was in first place playing with Blueonic and one of the administrators from the German video game review site Gamezone, and suddenly I crashed into a tree. It took me almost five seconds to return to the game, and because of that I wound up in last place. Perhaps it's a bug, or maybe it's punishment for not racing carefully. Whatever it is, though, it caused me some frustration. The lack of split-screen multiplayer mode might also turn some gamers off.

The folks at Techland did an astounding job with the graphics, as the levels are amazing to look at. You may find yourself lost just looking at your surroundings, which could cost you a couple places in the long run of the race. Its original soundtrack featuring members of Deftones and Static-X -- topped off with licensed songs by Slipknot and Queens of the Stone Age -- create the perfect musical atmosphere needed for an exciting title like this. Having said that they could've added maybe a couple more tracks to the song list, as it slowly gets repetitive. In regards to the sound effects, everything revs and smashes in perfect synch with what's going on onscreen.

With its fast-paced racing style and great online multiplayer nail'd manages to be a new top dog in the ATV/MX racing world. Yes they could've added more to the stunt segments, but that's what the next round might be for. Here's hoping that nail'd is the start of a beautiful racing franchise.

Blueonic: If you're looking for a racing game that can give you a great adrenaline rush, then nail'd will do the job justly. The graphics are absolutely amazing, especially with the race tracks, vehicles and riders.  Techland created a great game with a vast amount of racing games, providing between each of the Tournament sections with about six races for the first four levels, concluding with the cup tourney where they take all the levels you raced in and put them in one big setup. The music for nail'd is pretty damn good, as it does help you get into the game, especially when they put together their own tracks along with some favorite artists of  mine. It really does the game justice.

Online play is absolutely fun, but I hope they create a patch so you can actually change the track while you're playing and others join your race. For some reason I was having an issue getting to change the tracks without having to get the hell out of the hosted game and create a new one. With the actual online racing I didn't really find an issue with their server. There didn't seem to be any lag, seeing that we were playing with a fellow reviewer from Germany (which was awesome). nail'd has a seriously sweet deal with their online racing, and I just can't wait till this comes out in stores so I can take on a lot more people online.

One issue I had with playing this game was the fact that I wasn't able to preload the shocks on the vehicle to launch. I do give it to them for the fact that if you pull back on the stick you get more air under the vehicle to get more distance. If you want to get out of the height just push up on the stick and you'll go down like a lawn dart. Another issue was that you can only do simple tricks in the game, similar to that of ATV Offroad Fury. When I look for ATV/MX tricks I'm turned onto the crazy-ass metal militia stuff that current games have. It brings me back to the game Freakstyle, an amazing title made awhile back where they basically turned SSX Tricky into a motocross game. It was one badass setup, mainly because you would get some serious height and when you built up the right amount of power you could literally have the character break dance on the bike. (The other game that really has me is Disney Interactive's Pure, where they created an adrenaline-packed game that has amazing graphics and awesome tricks.)

With that said I still do like nail'd. I'm definitely hooked on this title because they finally designed an ATV/motocross game that is strictly racing but with killer graphics. The realism of the game may be a bit farfetched, but it's still a great game you'll have a lot of fun. I urge Deep Silver and Techland to go ahead and work on the sequel, but (and I do mean BUT) toss in a dash of insane stunt tricks in the game with some even more kick-ass music. Hopefully then you will have a truly awesome game. Until then nail'd has been Blueonic tested, and Blueonic approved.

By the way: if you're a parent nail'd is a perfect title for the kids to play. It's not too violent (except when they crash doing those crazy jumps), and it's easy for the kiddies to play for a long time to keep them quiet. Believe me: I let my nephews try it out, and they were just amazed by what they were seeing.

PROS:

• Amazing graphics and soundtrack
• Gameplay will leave your jaw gaping and on the edge of your seat
• Easy control scheme lets racing newbies easily jump in

CONS:

• Lack of real stunts/tricks in "Stunt Challenge"
• Crashing online might cost you the win
• Can't preload shocks for higher jumps

GRADES: 9.1 (King Baby Duck), 9.3 (Blueonic)
FINAL AVERAGE GRADE: 9.2 (out of ten)

nail'd
Developer: Techland
Publisher: Deep Silver
Platforms: Xbox 360, Playstation 3, PC
Genre: ATV/MX racing
US Release Date: November 30, 2010
Price: $49.99 ($39.99 for PC)

After taking the week off the Bastards return refreshed and anew. Plus a lost member returns...

This week the B3 crew review the demos for Saw II: Flesh & Bone, And Yet It Moves, ThruSpace, Bit.Trip Fate and Jett Rocket. The guys take a look at the new movie Faster, and Shades Blackflame gives his opinion on the film Entangled. Finally Anvil delivers a big hunk of sports for all our jocks out there.

The videocast:

It's tough these days to keep gamers on their toes. With new horror and psychological games coming out month after month it gets harder and harder to freak out players and stay original. Alan Wake took a simple approach: create a dark atmosphere, and make the scariest moments the ones players don't see. With that Alan Wake manages to be more than just a game; it's an edge-of-your-seat ride with more twists and turns than your average Twin Peaks episode.

Alan Wake, which is set up like a six-episode TV series, follows our title character -- an acclaimed author -- as he and his wife Alice travel to the small town of Bright Falls to get some rest and relaxation, and to help cure his writer's block. Suddenly Mr. Wake's wife goes missing, and he finds himself waking up from his busted-up car one week later, having no recollection at all of what happened after Alice disappeared. To top it all off his manuscript (which he also doesn't remember writing) is now coming to life to try and kill Alan, his friend/agent Barry and the townsfolk. Light can be used to kill these harmful figments of imagination -- along with a couple bullets -- but is it too late to save both Alice and Bright Falls, or can Alan Wake write a happy ending to this living nightmare?

Alan Wake features one of the most original horror/thriller storylines in recent gaming history, not to mention a strong script from writers Sam Lake and Mikko Rautalahti. The game also manages to fit in enough plot twists at every end of the game's aspect, leading players onto a mind-mashing roller coaster that seems to prey on the innocent. Add on the sort of creepy mood that one almost only sees and feels in well-made slasher films, and you've got yourself a game that knows how to keep you wanting to have the lights on during gameplay. (Alan Wake could easily be adapted into a real TV series if it really wanted to, that is if they do it right.)

The game also does a fine job of having a good time with itself, especially when it comes to Barry. The wisecracks he occasionally makes almost always will leave you laughing. One of the best (and funniest) moments in the game comes during "Episode 4," where Barry takes control of a rock stage in the middle of a farm, using pyrotechnics and spotlights to fight off against the Taken. His comments and panic attacks during this moment are laugh-out-loud funny, even when Alan Wake is facing near-death. A close-second for laughs is Night Springs, a TV show that's hidden throughout the game on randomly-placed televisions. The acting is crap and the voices are off-synch, but the Rod Serling-inspired parodies are always good for a bunch of chuckles.

The gameplay in Alan Wake does a phenomenal job with making players jump out of their chairs with fright, whether it be via the Taken or from the likes of some of the creepy town folk. Players control Alan as he battles his way through the shadows and cliffs of the so-called quaint little town. The usage of a flashlight and gun (and occasional flares) help to defeat the Taken, and while you may luck out with shining out more than one of those "creatures" at one time taking them down can sometime be an issue; along with having to sometimes change the flashlight's batteries mid-shine through. While controlling Alan Wake (and the occasional vehicle) is easy at times, the amount of time given to you to use the flashlight or reload your weapon tends to favor against you.

In regards to the graphics in Alan Wake, I am on the fence. There are times where I am playing the game, and I am in awe of how realistic the scenery looks; however there are also moments where I am watching one of the game's FMVs, and I am repulsed by its quality. I don't know if it was because it was rushed out due to its lengthy production schedule or what, but more time could've been placed into making the characters' faces look more realistic. Not to sound mean, but many of the characters (including Alice) look like they had suffered some sort of stroke or aneurysm in their lifetime. It was an element like this that kind of led me towards a negative reaction to this game for the first couple hours.

Perhaps one element that's just as strong as the game's atmosphere is its sound quality. The music composed by Petri Alanko knows how to create the proper mood for each level, and the sound effects -- ranging from the cold wind blowing to the creaking of the wooden, unstable staircase -- add more to the creepiness factor of Alan Wake. I also have to commend Remedy Entertainment for licensing some of the songs of Roy Orbison, David Bowie, Harry Nilsson and Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, who use these songs to help move the nightmare of Mr. Wake along. The voice acting is also superb, but the narration of Alan Wake (voiced by Matthew Porretta) gets very annoying, especially when he narrates about EVERY SINGLE THING you do in this game! There's a time to narrate and a time to keep quiet, but Wake seems to not know the meaning of the latter.

You'll be able to finish Alan Wake in about 20 hours, a good chunk of gameplay if I say so myself. Players will also have a good chunk to go back and play, as they have missing pages and Night Springs episodes to recover that they might have missed the first time around. Add on a couple downloadable episodes to add on to the game via Xbox Live, and you've got plenty of reasons to go back and play this game.

PROS:

• One of the strongest, freakiest atmospheres founded in a game
• Good control scheme, great soundtrack
• Barry

CONS:

• Graphics sometimes don't look so great
• Limited amount of battery power and ammo to defeat Taken
• Narration gets annoying

FINAL THOUGHTS:

There's so much to like about Alan Wake, ranging from its strong storyline to its easy control scheme. However the small amount of battery life and ammo Alan can carry at once, along with some graphics issues, make this a hard Xbox title to fall in love with. Having said that Alan Wake is the type of thriller/horror title that will leave you clamoring for more. Cross your fingers that a Season 2 is made.

FINAL GRADE: 8.5 (out of 10)

Hell yeah, EA has brought back one of the most awesome Need For Speed games, and it's just awesome to be playing the series again. The demo version of Hot Pursuit is just to hard to put down, considering I've been playing it for the past 12 hours!

The demo gives you the option of playing as a police officer or as a racer. For the cop section they give you the old-style Ford Crown Victoria police cruiser (BLEH!), and the second one is a Nissan 370z (a sexy car right there). For the racing portion they give you the Porsche Boxster Spyder (sweet car) and the BMW Z4 S-Drive 3.5 (not one of my favorites, but another fast car) and the civilian version of the Nissan 370Z Roadster. (In the game it says the top speed is classified, so either it's so fast that they don't want the public to know it or it's just that new of a car.) Along with that I admire the effort that was put in for the information to tell how fast the car is, what year it's from, whether it's front or rear-wheel drive and it's capability of going from 0 to 60 in so many seconds. You can also pick the car, and it actual gives you a full written/narrated speech about the car itself. I love vehicles, so I always want to know more about what's under the hood and how much torque and BHP (Brake Horse Power) it has.

Look how sexy these cars are!

When you're the police officer you've got an awesome selection of weapons to use against the racers, including spike strips (get in front of the car, deploy them and watch the magic happen), road blocks (calls to set up a police road block about a half mile up from it, slowing down the racers) and the helicopter. I can only imagine what that helps with, although I believe that it can assist you with spike strips and other things to take the racers out.  When you knock out the racers watching them car flip or crash out of control is an awesome feeling, and it's one of those games that gives you the adrenaline and the thrill of taking out the "bad guys." On the other side of it if you like the thrill of running you can fulfill that desire as well. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention they have NITRO BOOSTING!!!

It's always a beautiful thing to see a Dodge Viper chase after a Porsche.

With the racing you are put up in a six-car race in the demo, where they have you race the windy roads. The graphics are a step up from what I have seen in the past couple games. The crashes do its own little cinematic setup where it show's you the minor devastation of a crash, but still this game gives you the pulse-lifting adrenaline that is needed for racing games. In the demo, though, when you're racing I didn't come across the cops to see what they do in a high-speed chase situation, so I can't comment further on the A.I. of the police. I can bet that the guys from Criterion Games put the best effort to make the cops really hard to escape.

Lambo VERSES Lambo!

I want to get my hands on this game, and give it the full review when I get the chance. Thanks Criterion Games for bringing back one of my favorite games from when I was younger, and revamping it to this sexy beast of a demo you have right here. I know racing isn't everyone's cup o' tea, but I think from playing this demo right now it's made me want to pursue this game to play the amazing exotic cars it has to offer. Click Here for Car List (it's DAMN GOOD!!!).

The newest McLaren's pretty sick!

Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit takes place on a place they created called Seacrest. You can either race on it or patrol it with the Seacrest Police Department. They also have an awesome line up for things to do in the game: Co-op, 1-8 online, multi-player Versus, and much more.

So if you like what you see here, go and download the demo for Xbox 360, Playstation 3 or PC (off the website), and tell us what you think about it; and if you like it that much, go and slap your money down on the pre-order because I think it's definitely worth it.

Need for Speed Website: Click Here

Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit is on the shelves November 16th, so put your money down soon!!!

The Bastards break the world record for "Most A.D.D. Moments In A Podcast Episode."

This week the B3 crew welcome D-Rock to their crew, and discuss the new movie Takers and the new album from Apocalyptica (as well as their concert at the Royale). Next the King and D-Rock review the Flaming Lips cover album of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, and Pink Taco rants about her love for Mumford & Sons. Anvil and the rest of the crew choose their picks for UFC 118, and talk other various sports. Finally the crew puts their two-cents in on the video game Shank, and Blueonic looks back at the XBOX 360 game Darkest of Days.

Apologies in advance for the audio quality. Our current microphone does not work with the Mac, so hopefully by the next episode we'll have one.

Oh, how the Itis fails to keep a Bastard from speaking one's mind.

This week the B3 crew discuss the new XBOX Live game Monday Night Combat, the demos for Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X. 2 and NHL '11, the week in sports and movie reviews for Vampires Suck and Behind Enemy Lines: Columbia.

Don't worry: you're safe from any evil ex-boyfriends when the Bastards are around.

This week the B3 crew discuss the film The Expendables (followed by a comparison between The Losers and The A-Team) and the week in sports. Also on the table is a three-course Scott Pilgrim meal as King Baby Duck, Blueonic and Anvil talk about the movie Scott Pilgrim VS The World, the movie's soundtrack and the new PSN (and soon-to-be XBOX Live Arcade) video game based on the film and graphic novel series.

Well hot damn, if it isn't one of my favorite TV shows turned into a video game!

Deadliest Warrior is another sweet downloadable game. I love the capabilities of using my fiber-optics setup for the Internet, and having a 120 gig hard drive in my XBOX Elite. (Believe me: it's worth going big when you buy your systems.) I never thought that games would be either so accessible, or be almost at the fingertips of what XBOX has done today. Now with taking Spike TV and stepping up and creating a Mortal Kombat version of their show, that puts together the ridiculous idea of men in a think tank, where they wonder about certain figures or warriors in history, and then put them up against one another with science and other such methods to prove who just might be the deadliest warrior.

Deadliest Warrior: The Game has eight warriors that you can choose from (such as the Spartan and the Apache, as seen above). The other six warriors included are the Viking, Centenarian, Samurai, Ninja, Pirate and (last but not least) the Knight. These characters do have their unique weapons and serious areas of strength, but all have their weaknesses as well. When you start playing the game you're most likely going to get your ass beat (unless, of course, you're a button-mashing whore). Another one of my suggestions will help you real fast: if you notice you're getting your ass seriously beaten to a pulp almost every round, go to the Options menu and turn down the difficulty. The reason I say this is because I found out that the game actually starts off in the hardest mode. Personally I think it would've been absolutely brilliant on their part if it started the game with asking what difficulty you'd like to play.

With Deadliest Warrior: The Game they did an awesome job on the blood, but yet there is an issue with the controls. Sometimes when you're actually attacking you'll end up on the other side of the character you're fighting, leading to the "surprise buttsex!" that you just got fucking killed because you couldn't move around fast enough to stop getting massacred (especially when you're playing the game on the serious difficulty mode). With playing this game I had my fellow Bastards and friends come over and try out the game as well. They were having a fun time going through the arcade setup, along with getting frustrated about losing so many times in a row.

Final Thoughts and Suggestions:

Let me put it this way for my rating to get it out of the way: I'd give Deadliest Warrior: The Game two thumbs up, but if it was in a five-star rating setup I would give it a 4-4.5. The reason I say that is because you're only dealing with regular warriors, where the only fucker that seems too modern for the fight is the gun-totting pirate. I suggest that the Spike Games group make a shooter version of the TV show, which would be a sick idea if you think of it. If you remember playing Call of Duty from 4 to 6, they have it set up so you can do a run and shoot. I think that it would be bad-ass that way to show you how the weapons work, how they affected things in history today and then put you into the actual scenarios of the game. Believe me: I love my shooter games, and this would be the bad-ass setup (i.e. SWAT Vs the Navy Seals,  GSG9 Vs Spetsnaz). The list can go on and on with the show they have created. If you got a 360 or PS3, and you're able to download games I would say go for it. However if they have the setup for the trial/demo go for that before actually buying Deadliest Warrior: The Game.

Deadliest Warrior: The Game
Console/Platform:  XBOX Live Arcade, PSN
Company: Pipeworks Software
Gameplay: Action/Fighter
Website (This is the website for the TV show, since they really didn't have one for the actual game.)

]]> http://www.bostonbastardbrigade.com/2010/08/which-bastard-is-the-deadliest-warrior/feed/ 0 http://www.bostonbastardbrigade.com/2010/08/rev-up-your-engines-its-gonna-be-a-hydro-thunder-hurricane/ http://www.bostonbastardbrigade.com/2010/08/rev-up-your-engines-its-gonna-be-a-hydro-thunder-hurricane/#comments Wed, 04 Aug 2010 11:00:34 +0000 blueonic http://www.bostonbastardbrigade.com/?p=1865

Holy crap, it's Hydro Thunder! Oh how I missed you. I remember all the days of sitting in the arcade tossing quarter after quarter into your machine. Along with jumping from that machine to it's brother game Rush, I was always feeding my need for speed and awesome racing. This is a game that doesn't bring back memories for everyone, but it sure gets me to say "Back in the day..." I'm sure glad that this game has come back, although it might be only available as a download.

I believe that's where the gaming companies are going now, though, where they don't have to deal with selling the plastic at the stores; where they will market more things online so that you can download the games and save it right on to the massive hard drives. Talk about space-saving, seeing as I got all my games crammed on the shelf dominating one another or collecting dust. Well anyways, back to this bad-ass game called Hydro Thunder: Hurricane. They have done this franchise right. The graphics are absolutely beautiful, and the gameplay is as realistic as it gets when your dealing with water and rocket powered boats.

The gameplay is the way it should be, with a setup where you have four ways to race. First is just good old-fashion race style that was in the original game. They have you start all the way back in 16th place, but that's what makes it interesting: when you start playing the game it's starts getting pretty easy to win. Yet once you go from Novice to Pro (and last, but not least, Expert) it does get difficult.  Now if you're not familiar with the courses, you should learn to explore the game in order to find shortcuts in order to reach first place or have a faster time in these main races.

Next in line for the races is the Ring Races, which can be fun but also a fucking pain in the ass. It's one of those setups where you got to get your boat to go through all the rings in order to obtain the boost; so when your vehicle misses this ring you lose out on your boost, killing your time 'cause you'll need to get the next ring in order to reactivate the boost mode. When you're in Novice mode it's usually simple to keep your boat up to a high speed while going through all the rings. Once you move up to the next difficulty, however, it keeps you on your toes. They incorporated a boost jump for the boats so they can reach up to get rings or jump over objects to find shortcuts. (I suggest if you're having a hard time playing the main races and you can't find all the shortcuts, the ring racing is one of the main ones that will force you to go through said shortcuts to kick more ass in the game and the multiplayer.)

The third mode out of the four is the gauntlet, and this is one hell of a way to play. You have to go through the races as fast as you can while worrying about your boat being blown to smithereens. Yes, if I forgot to mention, you can seriously fuck up you boat by smashing in to walls the wrong way or hitting these red barrels of death. If you explode, don't worry; on your controller adjacent from the start button on your XBOX controller is something called a back button, which will reset you and get you back into the race. I'm not saying it will get you ahead of anyone when you reset, but if you boat has blown up a couple times, I would suggest to restart the race. Another beauty about this game is that if you're really messing up in the middle of the race you can just restart the race from the in-game menu. (I used this a lot because I usually hit the water the wrong way and can't get the boat back on the water.)

The fourth part of the main game deals with the Championship racing part, where you can earn more points by doing the tournament setups with the race, rings, and gauntlet games; so try to get damn good before you go for the championship games, otherwise I guarantee frustration of the highest degree (and I do mean spiking the controller down, cussing, running outside to find your next door neighbors dog to kick it, and many other bad things that might get you arrested). (The picture above is one of the boost canisters, which  are either blue or red with fire wrapped around it. The one that's red will get you more boost by about four times the amount of what you have obtained.)

One annoying aspect of the game is that at times there are other boats that are there to cause you to slow down. They comes in many ways on different levels, such as a lifeguard boat, viking boats, PT boats, helicopters, planes (that drop bombs in the water), water monsters and many other things to fuck up your capabilities to race faster. (See picture above for an example.)

If you're able to beat the main game with no sweat, you'll almost be like a golden god when you go onto the online mode. Some of the people that usually buy games are dumb fucking idiots that never play the main game. They do not pass go, they do not collect 200 dollars, straight to jail; they just do multiplayer. Yeah, great fine and dandy, you're able to get a head start on the online part. But if you don't go for the main part, which teaches you a lot about how to play the game, you won't feel superior to all the others when they play online; especially with someone like myself controlling this game. (Warning: I kick some serious ass, and I got the points & trophies to prove it. It got to the point where some of the people on the game weren't even challenging me. I was kicking ass with novice boats against someone who was in an expert boat.)

So please, please, please I  beg of you to try the main game in Hydro Thunder: Hurricane before you cannonball into the multiplayer with a blindfold on. Along with that they finally did the multiplayer right, so if you win on the races you can obtain trophies for the races and points toward the in-games. I don't know how many times I have played a game that doesn't take the points  you earn and put them back on the in-game that you've been working on. Along with that they did the setup like Halo, where you can have four friends playing on your XBOX at a time. (Advice: make sure you have a big enough TV.) While your friends are on at the same time under your name they will be able to race other people online with you. I was blown away by that because I find myself having to pass the controller around lately on multiplayer online games because they didn't incorporate that into the game. Otherwise they are just greedy bastards and want people to sign up onto XBOX Live so then you can have multiple people play on one TV, which really isn't worth it.

(Please watch this video to see the awesome graphics)

Final Thoughts & Suggestions:

First off  you must really be into racing games to get into this game. Always look for a demo or trial of a game before you lay down the points. This XBOX downloadable game is 1200 points, which I feel is a good price; but if you want to get people to buy more of these games, drop the price down to 800 points instead (that is until the game has a full backing on it). Another suggestion I might as well add is kind of a little cheat in a way: to get a tiny bit of boost in the start of race, during the countdown timer, don't hold down the gas until you see the 1 when it's about to fade out. This will pop your boat into the boost mode and get you going faster till you find the next boost canister. It's a good idea to conserve the boost canister as much as possible if you're not good with finding all the points.

All in all this is a sweet-ass game. I give Hydro Thunder: Hurricane two thumbs way the fuck up in my book, and it's definitely a game that has a moderate to repeat offending for playing this game over and over again.

Hydro Thunder: Hurricane
Console/Platform:  Xbox 360 (exclusive, bitches)
Company: Vector Unit/Xbox Live Arcade
Gameplay: Racing
Website

P.S.: There is a fucking rubber ducky in the Goddamn online multiplayer mode with a fun Red VS Blue style of racing with them. And yes, I beat people's asses with that all the fucking time! Wahoo!!! (Sorry, can't find a picture of it to show you. Go play the game to see it!!!)

While the Duck is high in the clouds, Blueonic and Anvil take over recording duties to create a lively show.

This week the Bastards discuss the new movie Salt, as well as the films Half Past Dead 2 and Contract Killers, the week in sports, the video games Baby Maker Extreme, Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days, Hydro Thunder Hurricane, and a follow-up on their discussion on the problems of the opposite sex.

The B3 members try their best to record after a day of celebrating and drinking. This will explain their raspy vocals during the episode.

This week the Bastards put their two cents on the demos for Medal of Honor, DeathSpank, Limbo and Death Track: Resurrection, as well as the full game of Skate 3. Plus Anvil gives his take on the week in sports, and the Bastards review the movies Universal Soldier: Regeneration and Undisputed 3: Redemption.

How bad is The Last Airbender? Really, really bad!

This week the Bastards discuss the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, The Last Airbender, Battlefield: Bad Company 2 Onslaught, Lego Harry Potter: Years 1-4, Crackdown 2 and the week in sports.

For almost a year her name has been spoken of, but no one knew if she truly existed. This week she makes her grand debut, making it the first time ever the five original Bastards are in the same episode.

Pink Taco (FINALLY!!!) joins the B3 crew, as they touch on such topics as Slash's solo album, the highlights of this year's E3, an "Oh For Fuck's Sake!" dealing with the cutting of librarians in the school system and a quick week in sports. Also there's an ice cream truck playing in the background somewhere.

On their 50th episode (already?!) the B3 crew discuss the movie The A-Team, the week in sports, Dunkin' Donuts VS Starbucks VS mom-&-pop chains, the anime Baccano!, the new album by Stone Temple Pilots, the recent show from the_Stampede and the video game The Saboteur.

Okay, I have no comment for the picture above.

This week the Bastards discuss the week in sports, Get Him To The Greek, Super Mario Galaxy 2, UFC Undisputed 2010 and Planet MiniGolf.

(Apologies for the audio quality in advance. First time recording with the Mac, and some distortion happened. Our bad.)

After a small absence, Nenya returns to the Bastards! (And yes, the episode title does not lie!)

This week the Bastards gripe about the salaries of the hockey players in the KHL and the MBTA. Plus they give their takes on the new game Split/Second, the new film Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time and the week in sports.

If Wll Forte offers you some vegetables, kindly decline them.

This week the Bastards give an "Oh For Fuck's Sake!" to those Silly Bandz & overage breast-feeding, as well as review Birdy The Mighty: Decode, MacGruber, Splinter Cell: Conviction, the new demos for Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11, Rocket Knight & ModNation Racers and the week in sports.

This week the B3 crew discuss the new movie Robin Hood, the week in sports, the demos for Fat Princess and Iron Man 2, APB, Sage Francis, B. Dolan, Free Moral Agents, 21st December and The Failure Initiative.

Seeing that I finally have a break from the thing called college, I’m able to bring you this game demo of “Tropico 3.”

All right with sitting and watching the intro, it felt kind of crappy on the graphics, especially watching the guy run up to a fence under gun fire, to blow the fence up. Then it goes through a montage of going through the years of 1949 to 1982. In 1962 I guess a Nuke went off, which is pretty good on the graphics, and I love watching the priest being aggravated at the whole thing going off. But that’s what you get from me being an atheist.

With being in the game I was impressed by the way the graphics were handled on doing lands and buildings, but how the people were designed in it wasn’t that great. With me I think technology is so great today, that we need to kick things up a notch, especially with the video graphics.

This game resembles what the gaming community or I would probably perceive it as an RTS (Real Time Strategy). But it’s not your normal real time strategy; it’s as if you were playing SimCity all over again. You have to have more interaction with what’s actually going on with the people in the town, and then put it together and just watch buildings change after awhile. Usually people get bored of the damn game and destroy it with a few tornadoes, volcanoes, and everything else on the list of disasters of the world, and then just rebuild it again.

Yet this game isn’t like that.  They have it set up for you to build, create jobs, interact with the people of Tropico, set wages for business, go into the businesses to put the wages up or change what is required for the jobs such as education and, along with the fun parts of running businesses… firing people. Take that Pedro, you lazy good for nothing bastard, who’d rather complain while not properly doing your job. Believe me: if you’re able to try out the tutorial on the demo, you would understand what I’m talking about. If you have the patience, time or overall desire to play this game because you played the other ones, try it out; but it would be surprising for you not to get bored with this game.

In order for me to do this article I had to keep coming back to the game.  That’s how much of a pain in the ass and how bored I had become with this game. But the other thing that was getting on my nerves was the damn advisor/biotech of El Presidente. His name is Pen Ultimo, and let’s just say keep your volume down on your TV/surround sound system.  His greeting can cause you a headache. That would be another reason to hate this game, because of the audio. While Pen Ultimo is speaking, the Cuban-type music (go ahead ridicule me on the fact I don’t know what the music is because I simple can’t care) was too loud for me to hear him half the time.  I believe there was a Settings section, but like I said it was hard to keep playing the game because it was just so annoying.  It was as if I was crawling in mud with barbwire above me, and someone was firing an M60 machine gun overhead. Hell, I think that would be more fun than this game. I will give “Tropico 3” a thumb down on one hand and a middle finger on the other.

Final Thoughts on “Tropico 3”:

I feel that we have gotten pass the concepts of having the bird’s eye view of everything, and why couldn’t they have actually made a capable game with the first-person view. On the controls, this was another pain in the ass because you had to remember every damn button set up in order to play the game. From doing research on the game comparing PC to Xbox360, it’s doing much better on the PC; because you got your key board and mouse, and you’re able to move around things faster. Whereas dealing with your Xbox 360 controller, it deals with -- oh let’s say rough estimate of -- 14 controls. It can’t compare to a PC. Now one thing I might suggest to Microsoft is that if you’re the ones making all this stuff for computers, why the hell you can’t design a keyboard and mouse for the 360. Okay, I know there is a 360 keyboard to connect to the controller. But seeing I got really big thumbs it’s kind of like texting on a small ass keypad. So I plead that Microsoft creates a keyboard and mouse setup.

If you would like to see more on Topico 3 check out their website at:

http://www.tropico3.com/

Developers: Kalypso/Haemimont Games

Consoles:  PC (already on shelves), Xbox 360 (comes out 2/2/2010)