It's hard not to be hypnotized by a game like Trine 2. A title filled with much beauty and wonderment, this sequel to the moderately successful 2009 game from Atlus and Frozenbyte knows how to dazzle any gamer by its sheer looks alone. Once you get past the gorgeousness of Trine 2 you'll find yourself head-on with one of the most clever puzzle games released in years.

Trine 2 has you re-teaming your old friends from the first game: Zoya the thief, Pontius the knight, and Amadeus the wizard. They are called upon once again by the Trine, and are sent out on a quest to search for clues regarding the mysteries behind the black magic in the forest. Throughout the game players will have to solve puzzles in order to reach the next section of the game, while at the same time defeat any goblins and other mystical creatures that want to keep you from finding out too much about what's really happening in the forests.

Players can switch between characters at any time during gameplay, as each character has its own uses. Pontius is good with combat, along with breaking through rock walls. Zoya can reach bigger heights with her grapple rope, and can use her bow for long-ranged attacks. Amadeus -- the weakest of the three -- can use his magic to pick up heavy objects, as well as conjure up boxes and planks for helping get across long ranges. As the game progresses you will be able to unlock new abilities and weapon upgrades for each of your character such as hammer throw and fire arrows.

All these abilities come in handy when it comes to the puzzle aspect of the game, where the only way to solve them is to really think outside the box. Sometimes you will have to use just about every character's abilities in order to solve one of these puzzles. You'll find yourself turned upside-down when sometimes the answer to the hardest puzzle in the game can be right in front of your eyes. If you ever worry that a solution to a puzzle might need an upgrade you haven't unlocked yet, your fears will be put to rest; you can reset any upgrades and reorganize them however you want them to be.

Combating against goblin foes can be fun, not to mention open-ended. You can either take the easy route and have Pontius slay them all with his sword and hammer, or you can use Amadeus and fling the goblins into natural hazards with the grab option (once you unlock it). Having said that there isn't much variety when it comes to combat. However the boss battles can put you at the edge of your seat, especially when you come face-to-face with the final boss in Trine 2.

So much can be said about the graphics. It's one of those rare moments where you wish you can see a game like this on a giant movie screen and in 3D, as the beauty in Trine 2 is truly unmatched by any other downloadable title out there. Its worlds, characters, and plants are a real treat for the eyes, and look almost as good as the Navi planet in Avatar. Matching the world with its beauty is Ari Pulkkinen's score, which sounds like something you'd hear in any recent Peter Jackson movie. The voice acting could've used a bit of work, though, especially Zoya's. Its script, however, can be hilarious at times.

Trine 2 will probably take you about eleven hours to complete on your own, although it might be quicker if you play online co-op mode. The downside to beating the game is that there isn't any extra gaming modes to play in; a shame considering there could've been so much more you could do with a great title like this. (Maybe if a third one is made, they can try something like Create-A-Puzzle mode.)

PROS:

• Fantastic puzzles and gameplay elements
• Outstanding visuals and soundtrack
• Online co-op mode is tons of fun

CONS:

• Battling goblins lacks variety
• No extra game modes
• Voice acting is kinda on the meh side

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Trine 2 is one of the most fun puzzle adventure titles I've played in recent memory. A true thinking man's game, Trine 2 will have your brain work out every possible solution to each puzzle you come across. Trine 2 will leave gamers with a smile thanks to its strong gameplay elements, beautiful visuals, and a great story that will leave you wanting to come back for more.

FINAL GRADE: 9.2 (out of ten)

If one was to compare the Uncharted series to anything, it would certainly be the Indiana Jones of video games. From its jaw-dropping gameplay and visuals to the various twists and turns players discover in the series, the adventures of Nathan Drake always manages to leave people wide-eyed and clamoring for more. At the end of last year his latest journey Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception was brought to PS3 owners across the world, continuing on with its trend of extreme treasure hunting that would make any Discovery Channel host envious.

The game starts off with Nathan and his mentor Sully trading Nate's ring to Talbot for cash. After accusations of counterfeit bills Nathan and Sully discover the real buyer of the ring: Katherine Marlowe, who twenty years before had tried to steal the same ring, only fourteen year-old Nathan got to it before her. The ring, as it turns out, holds the key to the secret treasure of Sir Francis Drake. Along with Charlie Cutter and their old friend Chloe Frazer, the four of them set out to find the truth behind Sir Drake's secret quest for Queen Elizabeth. When Marlowe and Talbot use their powers to thwart our heroes' journey, it takes every bullet, any form of transportation, and all the breath in their lungs to reach the peak of their adventure, but what happens when the treasure they seek out isn't the one they imagined?

Throughout Uncharted 3 you will find yourself solving puzzles that will lead you closer to Drake's hidden treasure, with each puzzle harder than the last. From cranking contraptions to piecing puzzles together each puzzle you will come across will take much time and effort to complete, with the reward at the end sometimes involving Marlowe's henchmen trying to take you down. For that you can use guns, grenades, missile launchers, and your own bare hands to take down any enemy that you face. At times you'll have to think quickly and run away from dangerous waters, crumbling building, and creepy spiders that only wish to kill you if they get close enough.

There are times when the control scheme of the game can be a little bit confusing. Hiding behind walls and reloading your weapons may take a bit of time to figure out, but in the long run moving around Nathan and taking down Marlowe's henchmen is quite easy. If you've played the first two Uncharted games, then you probably won't have any issue with the controlling aspect of it. Those who are new to the franchise, however, will be in need of a bit of practice.

The one thing you can always count on for the Uncharted series is that it will keep its gamers drawn in with its story and dialogue, and Drake's Deception is no exception. Here we see a story told with many great plot-twists, heart-stopping moments, and some of the best action sequences of the year. You feel for Nathan Drake the same way you would feel for, say, Robert Downey, Jr.'s Sherlock Holmes or -- the more obvious one -- Harrison Ford's Indiana Jones, and you also learn about his past in a way that makes him more human. Hearing the banter between Nolan North (Drake) and Richard McGonagle (Sully) is at times a riot, with a sort of Gibson/Glover Lethal Weapon vibe in the way they deliver their lines. Like Arkham City, Drake's Deception easily draws in the attention of gamers and movie buffs alike. The epic John Williams-like score from composers Greg Edmonson, Azam Ali, and Clint Bajakian alone will pull you into Nathan Drake's realm.

The Achille's Heel in Uncharted 3, however, is the graphics. These worlds you visit -- from Yemen to Colombia -- are gorgeous, no doubt, and the vehicles and characters you meet and play look great. Using motion capture, Naughty Dog was able to use true reactions to events that happen around Nathan Drake. At times I thought the characters moved in a more true-to-life fashion than the recent Robert Zemeckis films, but not without issues. Case in point, in Chapter 17 (where Nathan battles through many henchmen on the plane he snuck on) I found Nathan stuck in one of the plane's crates, a sheer feat considering that there was no way for your character to get into the wooden boxes. I had to start from the previous checkpoint many times because of my character's glitchy ability to get stuck in impossible places, and while there should be an update fixing that issue coming soon it still irked me that these glitches were there to begin with.

The single-player game will take you around ten hours to complete on Easy Mode, but there is plenty to go back to after you beat it. Throughout almost each level there are more hidden treasures to discover, and with the Level Select section of Single Player mode you will be able to revisit them and relive your favorite moments from the game. Whether it's the opening barroom brawl scene or escaping the sinking cruise ship there are plenty of instances of the game that you will want to try again. There is, as well, the multiplayer aspects of the game.

Uncharted 3 has your usual Team Deathmatch/Free For All modes that you see in many first-person shooters, not to mention a Capture-The-Flag-styled treasure match called Plunder, but it's the co-op areas that keep the game shining. Co-op Adventure Hunter Arena will not only have you facing off against endless amounts of enemy AIs, but also real players found on the web. Then there is Co-op Adventure, which will have you and up to two others online or friends in the same room as you take on a five-chapter story mode that features areas from both Among Thieves and Drake's Deception. There is plenty to go back to when you've reached the Uncharted 3's end credits.

PROS:

• Breathtaking story, visuals, soundtrack
• Great amount of puzzles and gun battles
• Multiplayer modes come in the bucketload

CONS:

• Character animations can sometimes be unnatural
• Learning some of the survival tactics will take some time for Uncharted newbies

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Uncharted 3 is another reason why video games should be looked at the same way as motion pictures. The story, characters, and worlds you will visit in the game are awe-inspiring, and it helps that the gameplay elements and puzzles add onto the wonderment of this title. Its multiplayer aspects almost guarantee that you'll be revisiting this game many times. If you own a PS3, then there is no reason why Drake's Deception shouldn't be in your library, even if you haven't played the first two Uncharted games.

FINAL GRADE: 9.7 (out of 10)

The three Bastards and Bastette-In-Training rev one up filled with tangents and topics galore!

This week the B3 crew review Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol, Green Lantern, and Colombiana, and King Baby Duck gives a rundown of the demos Final Fantasy XIII-2, EA SPORTS Grand Slam Tennis 2, Asura's Wrath, Amy, and Choplifter HD. Anvil gives his weekly sports report, and a quick look at one of 2011's best albums from The Knux.

Buckle up your seatbelt! It's Episode 125: I'll Show You A Ghost Protocol!

Just when you thought Dead Island couldn't get any bigger, its publisher has announced a new storyline for your zombie goodness.

On January 31st on the PS3 (February 1st on Xbox 360) a new mission-based DLC pack will be released for Dead Island. The Ryder White DLC campaign will have players see the game through the main antagonist's eyes, experiencing the biggest events on the island of Banoi.  This single player campaign will feature several hours of gameplay, as well as a few brand new weapon blueprints.

“I always like to think of antagonist characters not as evil, but simply….misunderstood,” Deep Silver's evil Marketing & PR Tarantula Aubrey Norris argued while sharpening her talons and drinking the blood of the innocent from a jewel encrusted chalice.  “Ryder White was obviously suffering from a massive case of beast mood in Dead Island, and I think it’s only fair we got to learn his side of the story.”

Dead Island’s Ryder White DLC will be available on January 31, for $9.99 on PS3 and on February 1, 2012, for 800 MSP/$9.99 on Xbox LIVE and Steam.

Atlus has just released not one, but two new trailers for the upcoming video game adaptation of Game of Thrones. Check out both "The Wall" and "Winter" trailers below.

The Wall Teaser:

Winter Trailer:

The worlds are looking good, but I'm hoping that the human characters are given a bit of a makeover. After seeing what's been accomplished in Skyrim, Game of Thrones will have to up the ante if they wish to please both fans of RPG titles and those that are into the books & movies. With George R.R. Martin collaborating on the game's story, though, we could be in for a title that pleases both sides.

Game of Thrones is due in early 2012 on PS3, Xbox 360, and PC.

It's tough calling a winner in this battle between Battlefield 3 and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, but keep reading and you'll see why...

First let's talk about the story aspect of Battlefield 3:

With Battlefield's backing of the awesome Frostbite 2 Engine (Video Below), the game was able to produce graphics and audio that really blew me away. They have done a phenomenal job on bringing one of the realest game to the audience. I find that when I'm getting these games it needs to have a well-written story in order to get to the point of playing online. With playing Battlefield 3 I was hooked right away into the storyline. It starts you right off in what seems to be a parkour scene where you hop onto a moving train and take down a series of terrorists. This is also where you meet the big bad wolf character of the game: Solomon!

After completing the first part of the mission your character Sgt. Henry Blackburn is being interrogated by a couple of CIA-type agents. They are trying to find out what happened in the situation, getting them to the point where they think that a Sergeant of the Marines is trying to save his own ass. What you will mostly be dealing with in this game is more of a representation of living the story through flashbacks -- coming back to the present where you are at being interrogated -- until the past catches up with the present and becomes the future! Half the time I was playing the game I thought I was living out a movie, which is a beautiful thing. I would like to the leave the story at that, as I feel that if I keep going I may unveil to much.

Multiplayer:

After beating the game I knew what I was in for when hoping to the multiplayer: a whole lot of ass kicking! The online play gives you a great amount of maps, along with different methods of play such as: Conquest, Rush, Team Death Match, Squad Death Match, and Squad Rush. Maps include Grand Bazaar, Damavand Peak, Operation FireStorm, Caspian Border, Seine Crossing, Kharg Island, Tehran Highway, Noshahr Canals, and Operation Metro.

Best maps:

Rush: Damavand Peak (Side note: be an attacker on this map in order to get through the first M-Coms, and a pleasant surprise of base jumping is in your future!)
Any Game Mode: Operation Metro
Conquest: Noshahr Canals

PROS:

• Great story and graphics!
• Able to blow up and level buildings
• Sick online!
• Nice weapons selection and attachments
• Infinite run, great parkour
• Knife kills!
• Love the concept of using tanks, Jeeps, helicopters, and planes

CONS:

• Assholes online, as usual
• Upgrades automatically get put onto your guns after you die (Not always the best options when you get used to your weapon)
• Flashlights and lasers can sometimes be a pain in the ass
• Infinite run sucks if you're a sniper
• Planes are harder to obtain in the multiplayer
• Main storyline is kinda short

FINAL GRADE (FOR BATTLEFIELD 3): 10 (out of ten)

Last, but not least:

After that trailer I really do think they should make a Call of Duty movie!

Story:

If you are the noob, and you just bought an Xbox 360 or PS3 to get into the game now, you'll be missing something from not playing the other games. I would really suggest that you go and buy Modern Warfare 1 and 2 before playing this. (Don't worry: they aren't ridiculous in price.) For all of you that are the vets mainlining all of the Call of Duty games into your system when ever you can, you probably already know everything about the game. (However I find a lot of people don't play the main campaign of the games and just go right to the multiplayer.)

The game starts where it had left off in MW2, where you have Soap McTavish (played by Kevin McKidd) injured, and Captain Price (Billy Murray) bringing him to a doctor to get him fixed. Then it breaks off to another section of the story, where the Russian terrorist group has breached New York and is looking to take over America. As the story goes on from there, it just gets more and more intense. I feel that this game has brought the whole story full circle. I don't believe they will be able to squeeze another one out of the series for this.

Multiplayer:

It's chock full of goodness on the spectrum of varieties. It has for the normal play Team Deathmatch, TDM Kill Confirmed (where you must collect the tags of the ones you kill), Mercenary, Free for All, Domination, Ground War (for 12-18 players), Team Defender, Sabotage, Headquarters Pro, Search & Destroy, and Capture the Flag. For all you hardcore maniacs we have Team Tactical, Mosh Pit, Hardcore TDM, Hardcore Kill Confirmed, Hardcore Seach & Destroy, Hardcore Domination, Hardcore Team Tactical, and everyone favorite BARE BONES!!!

PROS:

• Damn good, long storyline
• Double scope usage for close and long ranges
• Can always call in air strikes on the kill streaks
• Brought back Special Ops

CONS:

• Teammate AI annoyingly likes to run in front of you while taking the shot
• No infinite run, lacks parkour set up like Battlefield 3
• No planes!
• Environments are still not interactive!

FINAL GRADE (FOR MODERN WARFARE 3): 10 (out of ten)

FINAL THOUGHTS:

While it's hard to pick a winner between both of these games, I know Modern Warfare 3 has definitely won on the sales aspect. Gameplay-wise it's just hard to say who really won. With me I like to bounce back and fourth between these two games since I have friends that are too stubborn to buy both titles. For the most part I feel that whatever your appetite is for FPS gaming, you will be satisfied with either game.

I know I gave both titles perfect scores, but these games are very dear to my heart. When I need to get some frustration out I pop in some of my music and go kick ass in online battles. These are really the only games that I can turn to. (Sorry Halo, but you're not that attractive to me anymore. We had our good times, but I'm breaking up with you.)

I can see Battlefield 3 coming out with another map pack somewhere in the near-future, but for right now they will most likely work on creating Bad Company 3 and get that out probably by Fall 2012, giving us another great game to play until they bring us maybe Battlefield 4. It seems that the concept of Battlefield always has more things to offer with their titles. (Personally I would like to see them bring Battlefield 2142 to the console.)

In regards to Call of Duty they might bring us into another Modern Warfare game, but I'm just not sure who the bad guy will be in that one. With the first couple Call of Duty games it was all about World War II, but then they brought in the first Modern Warfare, skipped back to World At War, bringing it forward to Modern Warfare 2, rewinding to the Korean/Vietnam/Cold War era in Black Ops, finally returning to Modern Warfare 3. I can probably suggest that they try to find a way to do a war with the Chinese/Russians or North Koreans, since the world's energy is coming to a shortage. (Think a mixture of Frontlines: Fuel of War and Homefront.)

However maybe this might be a way for the Call of Duty series to jump to another part of our history (i.e.: World War 1), even though people would probably get annoyed by that overdone concepts. What they could do is reach out and create a game to see what war would be like in the future. Next to that, with all the loose ends they tied off in Modern Warfare 3, it's going to be very hard to see what they will be able to create. (You lived through World War 3 in this game! How can they top that?!) We also have Tom Clancy working on yet another game where the people of America start a revolution after they get sick and tired of how the government is being run.

Sadly I'm not sure where Call of Duty will go next, but it looks like the Battlefield series will be able to provide a richer story the next time around. The one game that I wish could've been so much more was Medal of Honor. It was neck-and-neck with Call of Duty for a long time, then the latter was able to keep up and kick ass. Thankfully Battlefield came up in the flanks to give Call of Duty the sort of competition that Medal of Honor failed to bring.

Game: Battlefield 3
Company: EA, Dice
Engine: Frostbite 2
System: PC, PS3, Xbox 360, IOS
Official Website

Game: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3
Company: Activision, Infiinity Ward, Sledghammer Games
Engine: MW3 Engine
System: PC, PS3, Xbox 360, Wii
Official Website

PS: Here's another reason why these stories could get turned into live-action films:

At E3 this year it was Saints Row: The Third that brought the most insane of artillery to the table. From its crazy antics to its style of humor the latest in the Saints Row series had but only one mission in mind: bring gamers the most fun experience anyone can fathom in an open-world title.

Saints Row: The Third continues where the second one left off. The Saints are now in control of Stilwater, and have become celebrities around the world. Unbeknownst to them, however, a rival group known as the Syndicate takes over the city, forcing the Saints off their throne of luxury. From there it's up to you to build back your reputation and reclaim your kingdom. But there are many obstacles that will keep you from reaching your goal.

The Syndicate is split into three groups: Morningstar (classic mafia-looking), Luchadores (wrestling-inspired) and Deckers (Tron-like hooligans), with the three of them owning a fair share of Stilwater. In order to win back your beloved city you must slowly regain control of it by buying property or -- the more fun way -- taking it back using the most anarchic ways possible. It doesn't come easy, especially when the police and the Special Tactics Anti-Gang Unit (or S.T.A.G., for short) are on your trail every time you fire a weapon or run someone over with your vehicle. Before you do any of that, however, your character must look the part.

The folks at Volition, Inc. went all out on the Create-A-Character aspect alone, with nearly millions of ways you can have your anti-hero look. From the wideness of your eyes to the size of your, erm, package the heavy detail placed into how you can make your Saint look like you is finely-tuned; and with a crazy amount of wardrobe you can choose from you can dress him or her in just about any way possible. You can even have them run the streets completely naked if you wanted them to! (It's pixelated, though, pervs.)

After you've created your character the real madness begins. To win back respect you must tackle on multiple missions that will have you in a shootout 20,000 feet in the air, saving lovely prostitutes from underground clubs and ships, committing a chariot getaway chase with gimps instead of horses, and (CAREFULLY!) chauffeuring a tiger in your front passenger seat; and that's a mere fraction of what you can do. There are also side missions that include Insurance Fraud (getting run over by cars for cash), Professor Genki's Super Ethical Reality Climax (a Japanese-styled game show), Tank Mayhem (blow as much shit up as possible with your tank in a given time limit), and Assassinations. It is amazing how much gameplay has been placed into Saints Row: The Third, and it can be more fun when you are in co-op mode with a friend. If you need to take a break from the main game you can easily jump into Whored More, in which you (and a friend, if you'd like) can tackle on endless waves of enemies with different weapons at your disposal.

The weapons you are given in this game range from the average to the WTF, with a heavy emphasis on the F. You could easily just use a pistol to take down your enemies, but if you want to be a kinky badass then you can arm yourself with the Penetrator (the infamous dildo bat) and smash their skulls in with sexual hilarity. There are also grenades, octopus guns, and air strikes that can be called in to take care of those pesky rival gangs and S.T.A.G. soldiers. Vehicles also come in different shapes and sizes, ranging from the simple scooters and classic cars to the tanks and Professor Genki's Manapult, the latter of which can suck up any pedestrian and shoot them out of the air to meet their maker.

While on the road you can switch on the radio, listen to news clips and even rock out to some of the best songs to be heard on any game. From the hip hop styles of Kanye West and the rocking riffs of Wavves to the electronica beats of deadmau5 and the classical sounds of Bach there is a radio station for every person out there. (My personal favorite is the Adult Swim-based one, where the DJ is Jon Glasser's character in Delocated.) Add on a great cast that includes Daniel Dae Kim, Hulk Hogan, and Sasha Grey just to name a few, and you've got yourself one hell of a soundtrack that is filled with hilarious jabs, one-liners and all-around dialogue that will make you do a double-take.

While there is much to love in Saints Row: The Third there are a couple flaws that keep it from reaching open-world perfection. The first is the flying missions, which can sometimes be a major pain to control. Because of some of the camera angles in those levels it made it almost impossible to properly aim your gun or missile-launcher at the gang members. Trust me: you will find yourself spending an hour on these types of missions alone, but not for enjoyable reasons.

The other misstep in Saints Row: The Third is its graphics. While good, they are not on-par with the majority of the games that can be found on current-gen consoles. Granted it does fit with the cartoonish elements of the game, but they could've tinkered just a bit on the characters before the game's release. I also found some rendering issues within the game, especially while flying high in one of the planes you get later on in the game. And while it sounds like the oldest complaint in the world my character got stuck in a wall a few times, so I'm crossing my fingers that an update will be released sooner or later to fix that aspect. The vehicles look gorgeous, though.

Completing the main storyline will probably take you between 12-14 hours, with the side missions tacking on another 10. One of the downsides is once a main story mission is completed you cannot go back and replay it unless you start a whole new game. Still with many classic moments to be found in this game Saints Row: The Third is the type of open-world game that merits much replay value. (If you want to collect every trophy/achievement you'll need to play through it a couple times.)

PROS:

• Hilarious story, inventive missions
• Imaginative weapons
• Great voice-acting, soundtrack one of year's best

CONS:

• Graphics aren't up to current standards
• Flying missions are a bitch to handle
• Can't replay main missions once completed

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Saints Row: The Third is a barrel of laughs and fun for anyone who thought the worlds of Grand Theft Auto were too serious for them. With a massive foray of weapons and vehicles at your disposal, not to mention tons of missions to complete, the latest adventure in Stilwater will be worth multiple visits. Lovers of hilarious games are encouraged to strap this title on and enjoy Saints Row: The Third in all of its intensity.

FINAL GRADE: 9.2 (out of ten)

Last night the folks at Deep Silver and Piranha Bytes released the first part of the behind-the-scenes look at Risen 2: Dark Waters, due in 2012 on PC, Xbox 360 and PS3. Here game designers Michael Hoge and Björn Pankratz and storywriter Jennifer Pankratz explain why they chose pirates as the topic for their latest game, Pankratz covers how the world map will help gamers on the first steps of their adventure and much more! Check out the video after the jump...

Since PAX East this year no racing title has left more excited than Jimmie Johnson's Anything With An Engine, made by the folks at Isopod Labs (a company founded by the dudes who created a little game called Vigilante 8) and Autumn Games. With each taste I had of it at both PAX and E3 the same sentence kept coming out of my mouth: This could be a Mario Kart killer. However as a follower of smaller game developers my optimism was cautious, as I've had full meals of disappointment served to me on many occasions by these lesser-known companies. After playing the final version of it, those doubts have since been trashed into scrap metal.

Players can choose from twelve racers (seven right away, five unlockable), each one of them special in every way. You can choose to race in a bathtub, a coffin, shopping cart or even a rocket, and each vehicle comes with its own crazy character to drive it for you. You can ride on thirteen different tracks, which all have their own hidden goodies and secret ways to reach victory. Throughout a regular race you can earn points by lighting up specific switches, and the more you light you the sooner you'll be able to use such tactics as boosts, ramming, missiles and mines. Here's the cool part: each missile and mine is made custom to the vehicle you're racing. For example if you choose Couch Potato (a man trapped in a mascot uniform riding a recliner) the missiles will be pizzas and the mines will consist of exploding TVs.

Anything With An Engine features a Career Mode that has eight different Cups to win (five main, three bonus). Each Cup features a mixture of every type of race in the game, ending with a duel between you and Mr. Johnson himself. Once you beat Jimmie you are given a token to unlock one of the other four racers you can hit the tracks with. Once you unlock those and win the Diamond Cup you will have the ability to play as Jimmie and his barstool from Hell.

Besides the regular races there are other modes to compete in. In Survival players will have a set time limit to escape from being in last place, which will lead to their elimination. Endurance has you facing your opponents in a long race that is determined in the end via a point system; the higher you are in the ranking at the end of each lap, the more points you will earn. No other mode will keep you on the edge of your seat than Matador, where eight racers are spilt into two groups, placed on opposite ends of the track and forced to literally go head-to-head to win. Trying to evade racers that speed towards you, not to mention trying to reach the front of the pack further than the racer at the other end, make it the sort of nail-biting racing experience that gamers have been clamoring for.

As you race your vehicle will get beaten up, which is where the Pit Stop comes in handy. By pushing the Repair button fast enough not only will your vehicle be good as new, but your weapons will be replenished. Be careful, for if you don't reach a Pit Stop in time your vehicle will explode, possibly pushing you back to last place. It makes me wonder why many kart racers -- or racing games period -- don't have a feature like this, as it adds on to the strategic experience of racing.

Strategy plays a major role in how to win a race. You're given boosts, missiles and mines, but it's about how and when you properly use them that will either help or hinder your chances at a victory. You can have one of your mines sticking out in the back of your vehicle to keep people from ramming behind you, but at the same time it takes away a bit of your speed. Using your Boost will come in handy, but if you use it too soon another racer might come up from behind and pass you. Then there is the red buttons on the track, which will spring Gotcha! traps on you or your opponents if triggered at the right moment. You can even find secret pathways on the track that will lead you past your opponents and into first place. Don't think that victory will come easy, as these races are just about neck-and-neck at every corner of the track. (Don't be surprised if one of your opponents passes you at the very last second of the race and steals your victory away.)

While the control aspect of the game is standout, there is but one minor gripe I had with racing in Anything With An Engine. In order to use Boost you need to double-tap the Gas button to activate it, which can sometimes lead to a quick slowing down of your vehicle if not done properly. I'm surprised that one of the other buttons that's not used wasn't chosen to be just the Boost button, as it would've made it a bit easier to operate it. However this tiny problem does not take away anything from the experience of this title, as it is much harder to not use Boost the right way.

While there isn't many racers to choose from the variety you get from each character will keep you entertained for as long as you want to race. There will also be some DLC content later on in the year that will feature more racers to choose from, the first of which will be talk show host Jimmy Fallon. (Proceeds from that specific DLC will go to the American Red Cross, so not only will you be downloading another fun vehicle but you'll also be helping out a good cause.) Players can also race online with one another from across the globe (except for the Wii version, sadly), as well as do split-screen mode in the same room, guaranteeing much craziness for all to enjoy.

Anything With An Engine is one unique title, as Jimmie Johnson himself was involved with creating much of the style of the game. Having an actual NASCAR racer, not to mention one of the world's best, on-hand to help design a kart racer had many advantages. Yes, it has much cartoonish elements thanks in part to its racers and usage of weapons, but its handling, steering and Pit Stop usage help add a sort of realism to the insanity on the tracks. It's that sort of combination that makes Anything With An Engine one amazing thrill ride around the track.

PROS:

• Edge-of-your-seat racing modes
• Fun characters, tracks and weaponry
• Solid control scheme, vehicle mechanics

CONS:

• Last-second losses will probably leave you frustrated
• Boost could've had its own button

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Jimmie Johnson's Anything With An Engine might not be this year's prettiest racer out there, but it is certainly the most fun and exciting. Isopod Labs, Autumn Games and Jimmie Johnson have developed something that both Sony and Microsoft have failed to accomplish on their own: a game that not only rivals Mario Kart, but also makes a fool out of it. If that statement doesn't make you run out and give Anything With An Engine a spin, maybe this will: it's only $30. Your move, Nintendo!

FINAL GRADE: 9.6 (out of ten)

Review copy provided by the folks at Isopod Labs

One of most popular book series (which has also been adapted into a popular HBO program) is now coming to a console near you...

In press release today Atlus has announced that it is planning to release a video game adaptation of Game of Thrones, which will be developed by Cyanide Studios. Launching in 2012 on Xbox 360, PS3 and PC the role-playing game will be an original story developed under the supervision of series creator George R. R. Martin, and will feature the likenesses of the worlds and actors portraying the characters. No word on if the actors themselves will be voicing the characters, though more will be revealed before the release date.

Here is more info regarding Game of Thrones from the press release:

In this 30-plus hour action RPG, players will enter the gritty and medieval fantasy world of Westeros. As one of two original characters with disparate motivations, both former soldiers of Robert's Rebellion, players will forge alliances and wage battles as they play a pivotal role in the ongoing war for power of the Seven Kingdoms. Their journey will span numerous quests, during which they will interact with many characters and make key decisions that impact the realm.

Standing before the majesty and bitter isolation of the Wall or walking through the streets and alleys of King's Landing, players will not simply pass by locations and characters integral to the series; they will explore and interact with them, meeting and learning about the people and history that defines them and their importance. Key decisions and major events will have meaningful impact on Westeros, allowing the player to witness how the game world evolves over time based on their actions or inactions. Moreover, "Game of Thrones" introduces an innovative "active slowdown tactical combat engine" in which combat mirrors the series' thoughtful approach to war and politics: fighting slows but never stops entirely, forcing the player to make quick, pressured choices before their enemy strikes again.

For more information visit the game's official site.

With Halloween over the Bastards use up the rest of their sugar rush energy on a brand-new episode.

This week the B3 crew look at the demos for Saints Row The Third, Deepak Chopra's Leela, Rabbids: Alive & Kicking and LEGO Harry Potter: Years 5-7. Plus Blueonic and King Baby Duck share their reasons why Jimmie Johnson's Anything With An Engine just might be the best racer of 2011, the trailer for Grand Theft Auto V is dissected and another beta key for Defenders of Ardania is given away. Anvil gives his weekly sports report, and another Oh For Fuck's Sake! regarding the MBTA is put up for grabs.

It all happens right here on Episode 118: I've Got 99 Cookies 'Cause A Bitch Ate One!

Goichi Suda is one of, if not, the craziest game creator out there, so when word got out that he was teaming up with Resident Evil creator Shinji Mikami gamers across the globe waited with high anticipation for the monster they were to unleash unto the consoles. What they came up with was a massive homage to the classic grindhouse films of past and present called Shadows of the Damned, not to mention a memorable anti-protagonist by the name of Garcia Fucking Hotspur.

Hotspur is a demon hunter, and after he comes home to find his girlfriend Paula being kidnapped by demon lord Fleming he and his trusty skull buddy Johnson travel down to Hell to rescue her. From there players take on demons, zombies, and other creatures of the underworld, slaughtering them all with Hotspur's massive guns and tactics. In order to get through each level Hotspur must feed these strange baby-faced doors eyeballs, brains or strawberries (which you might not want to eat anymore when it's revealed what the fruit really is); you also sometimes will have to travel through the darkness, which drains him of his health. Fortunately, unlike most games (and possibly real-life), alcohol can help Hotspur get back onto his feet. You will also learn about the backstories of the bosses you will have to face, such as George the scary harmonica player and Elliot Beast the bird man. There are also more dick jokes than a Judd Apatow film.

Throughout the game players will have to earn upgrades for Hotspur's weapons and stamina, some of which will be obtained after the big boss battles. These boss battle upgrades also transform your weapons to even-bigger destruction makers, some of which have such unique names as Hot Boner (contains a sticky explosive), The Dentist (can be used to fire multiple teeth at enemies) and the Skullblaster (fires four skulls and grenades). There will be no bigger smile-enducing moment, however, than when it comes time to use your Big Boner. Using a phone sex hotline Johnson becomes a long, massive cannon that Hotspur fires between his legs at larger demons. Isn't subtlety great?

While the weapons do pack a punch it doesn't help that the aiming system is overly sensitive. There were times where I was aiming for a demon that was inches from my face, and I still managed to miss him. It's moments like this that will cost Hotspur his life, and it happens more often than not. While you can carry loads of alcohol on you it's best to save them for the big boss battles, especially during any of the frustrating grim sister fights. These boss battles can sometimes cause much frustration, as you'll need to use split-second precision to fire on their weak spot. Sometimes it will be revealed using the light shot, while other times you'll be forced to go down the trial-and-error route. Believe me: it can get annoying when you have to waste almost every drop of your precious liquor on one boss battle.

While beating demons and bosses you are given gems that can be used to buy more ammo, liquor sometimes red gems for upgrades. Once in a while you will run into Christopher, a half-demon redneck with a heart of gold that wants to help Hotspur by any means necessary. These items can be pricey, though, so it's best to save up those white gems in case you need them for something else later on. The vending machines lie around in different areas of each level, so you won't feel regretful if you walk past one without using it.

Shadows of the Damned is quite gruesome-looking, but in the best way possible. Both the characters and the worlds just jump out at you while playing, filling your TV with a nice batch of dark essence at every corner. Granted it's no graphical breakthrough, but the usage of the Unreal Engine was used to its fullest potential. However there were times when the worlds took some time to properly render, and I did find myself caught in a glitch that had me stuck in a graveyard area, forcing me to restart from a previous checkpoint. (I'm actually surprised that, after all this time, they haven't released an update to fix this issue.)

The real stars of the game, however, are its storyline and soundtrack. The teamwork of Suda51 and Mikami helped to bring together a story that not only pays great tribute to past flicks like Evil Dead and Ghostbusters, but also manages to keep the true spirit of a memorable grindhouse movie all together. Both creators' styles are in full force, from Mikami's creepy undertones to Suda51's over-the-topness, the latter of which pulls a No More Heroes with its hilarious side-scroller levels later in the game. The voice acting from Steve Blum (Hotspur) and Greg Ellis (Johnson) showcases the best "buddy cop" style of dialogue and bantering since House of the Dead: Overkill hit the Wii two years ago. Lastly there's Akira Yamaoka's musical score, which is rich with Spanish guitars, cabaret blues and burlesque jazz. You will probably want to load up your iPod with these melodies, so long as you can find the proper places that sells it.

Shadows of the Damned will take you roughly eight hours to beat, and while there's an extra hard mode to unlock by beating it in the medium/hard difficulty there are no other real extras to be found. It would've been great to have a New Game+ mode so you can play with all the upgrades you've earned, but no such thing can be found. You can't even revisit previous levels, rewatch the great FMVs that appear throughout the game or reread the hilarious stories behind the boss characters. Don't even ask if there's multiplayer, as you probably already know the answer to that one.

PROS:

• Memorable storyline
• Fantastic voice acting and musical score
• Hilarious dick jokes

It's been three years since people roamed the streets of Liberty City in Grand Theft Auto IV. Today the folks at Rockstar Games unleashed the next chapter in the book of GTA: Grand Theft Auto V.

No word on a release date, and Ray Liotta's representatives are already shooting down rumors that the voice heard in the trailer is Vice City anti-hero Tommy Vercetti. More info on the game will be revealed as the months progress.

When Pandalicious visits, you know tangents will be flying!!!

This week the Bastards give their thoughts on the World Series, the recent letting-go of Patriots player Lee Bodden and the recent happenings with their friends at Team Pradal Seray. The demos for Need For Speed: The Run, Kinect Sports: Season 2, Real Steel and Sonic Generations are on the table, and Pandalicious & King Baby Duck share their thoughts on the musical Spring Awakening. An Oh For Fuck's Sake! about a controversial (but recently taken down) Men's Fitness Article gets a wag of the finger, and Anvil reviews Never Back Down 2 and Paranormal Activity 3. Plus listen in on how you can get the first of many free beta codes for the PC game Defenders of Ardania.

It's all packed in here on Episode 117: It's The Bitch Of Gaming.

In 2009 Rocksteady Studios rewrote the book on how to do a proper comic book-based video game with Batman: Arkham Asylum. It was dark, demented and represented everything we could have wanted in a Caped Crusader video game. As soon as it became a hit Rocksteady Studios set out to expand the Dark Knight's world, and in the end Batman: Arkham City was what was decided. Who would've guessed that this sequel would make its predecessor look like a Joel Schumacher film (post-Falling Down, of course).

Picking up a few months after the events in Arkham Asylum we find that half of Gotham has been transformed into Arkham City, a closed-off area where the baddest of criminals are held under heavy supervision by Dr. Hugo Strange. Fed up with the treatment of his beloved home Bruce Wayne takes a turn at politics and holds a press conference to attack what is happening behind the doors of Arkham City. Suddenly Tiger Security appears and apprehends Mr. Wayne, who takes him to Dr. Strange, where it is revealed that he knows of Wayne's biggest secret. Quickly Wayne escapes from Strange's clutches, and after a run-in with the Penguin suits up as Batman and begins searching for clues behind what's really going on.

From there Batman runs into many of his old foes, including Two-Face, Joker, the Riddler, Mr. Freeze, Harley Quinn and just about every memorable villain in the Batman universe. He also winds up rescuing Catwoman, who has her own selfish reasons for being inside Arkham. With the assistance of Alfred, Oracle and (on occasion) Robin the Detective searches for clues to figure out what the mysterious Protocol 10 is all about, while at the same time find a cure for a poison that is running in his and the Clown Prince of Crime's veins.

In Arkham City elements from the previous game continue to take center stage, one of which is detective mode. Using this visual aide will help you to find clues to solve puzzles, find out how many henchmen are in the room & which ones are holding weapons and discover hidden objects that will either assist Batman in the long run or give him some extra points that will be added to your personal trophies collection. Taking down henchmen is also fun once again in Stealth mode, where you can sneak up from behind or above and take them down silently or with a loud smack. The puzzles found in the game feature many tests and trials, some of which can be completed easily with the detective mode; other times it will take you a fair amount of effort to discover the answer to them (especially in the case of the Riddler's challenges).

Controlling Batman around Arkham City is a cinch, even with the dozen or so weapons at your disposal. Moving and attacking using melee maneuvers can be a button-masher at times, but with enough practice and timing you can take out a massive group of henchmen in just a couple minutes. Flying around Arkham and using your Batclaw to swing around buildings also has their perks, but when it comes to using the Dive Bomb technique it might take a few tries in order to perfect it. Switching your weapons with the D-pad also proved to be quite useful, as it came in handy when I needed to change what I was carrying during mid-fight.

The graphics in Batman: Arkham City are dark, grimy and exactly how we would picture Mr. Wayne's world. Each rundown building (as is the case with the majority of them) just sparks character, and the snow-drenched environments are hauntingly beautiful. The characters in the game also look phenomenal, as there is no other superhero game that has been able to capture the overall appearance of its heroes in villains. Batman looks intimidating, Joker and Two-Face appear gruesome and Catwoman & (surprisingly) Harley Quinn have never looked this sexy. (Let's just say I will worship any female gamer that can pull off one of these outfits for future cosplay.)

You cannot talk about Arkham City without discussing the sound, which truly makes what this world is. Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill have always been the perfect Batman/Joker pairing, even better than any movie adaptation of the Dark Knight's adventures. You don't just hear Conroy's Batman brood, you feel it; Joker, on the other hand, always manages to put a giant smile on my face, even when he's putting a gun to my hero's head. It's a real shame that Hamill will no longer be voicing the Clown Prince after this video game, but if there was ever a moment to go out on top then this is the right way to do it. Tara Strong does a fine job with the voice of Harley (replacing Arleen Sorkin), and Grey DeLisle brings the sexiest, most flirtatious Catwoman since Michelle Pfeiffer brought life to the character in Batman Returns. The soundtrack by Nick Arundel and Ron Fish compliments every scenario seen in this game, acting like a great companion during Batman's journey to find the truth.

The biggest props for this game have to go to scriptwriter Paul Dini. Arkham City had more twists and turns than I could've ever wanted in a Batman game, and it delivered each with awe-inspiring results. Joker's dialogue is some of the funniest in a long time (the Lost reference had me in stitches), and Bruce's monologues and delivery manages to hit you both in your heart and brain. Not since Batman: The Animated Series have I seen a Caped Crusader story told as well as this, rivaling even the recent Christopher Nolan Batman films.

The main storyline will take you roughly twelve hours to complete, but there is plenty to come back to as soon as you've beaten it. With many side-story missions, the ability to play as Catwoman, Robin & Nightwing, tons of hidden goodies to discover and plenty of villains to battle it out with you will be spending many days and nights within the walled-off world of Arkham City. Then you have New Game+ mode, which amplifies the difficulty and gives you no hints to fend of henchmen. There is also the small Easter Eggs that are found throughout the game, one of which could be hinting at a third game. (I won't say what it is, but it involves Ms. Quinn.)

PROS:

• Looks, feels and plays like a Batman game should
• Fantastic voice-acting, foreboding soundtrack
• One of the most enduring Batman stories ever conceived

CON:

• This is the last time Mark Hamill sends in the clown

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Batman: Arkham City not only exceeded my expectations for the Dark Knight's gaming return, but it also made my jaw smack down to the ground at just about every corner. There are words to describe this title, such as "flawless" and "breathtaking," but if I had to choose just a mere word to describe Batman: Arkham City it would be this: perfect.

FINAL GRADE: 10 (out of ten)

WRITER'S NOTE: I would strongly recommend getting the Collector's Edition of Batman: Arkham City, as what is enclosed is a bargain compared to buying everything separate. The soundtrack (featuring music from Serj Tankian, The Duke Spirit, Raveonettes and many other indie rock bands), DLC, the anime film Batman: Gotham Knight, the beta code for Gotham City Impostors and a greatly-detailed statue of the Caped Crusader are all worth the $100, something I rarely see when companies release special editions for popular games.

The folks from GamerReaction return to the Bastard realm for show that had its share of "technical difficulties."

This week Alex & Dianna guest-star as the B3 crew discuss the recent lawsuit regarding a woman less-pleased with the film Drive (with Dianna doing a not-so-subtile plug for MoviePass). The new video game Batman: Arkham City is placed under the microscope, and Anvil shares his take on the fiasco in the Red Sox bullpen. Busdriver's new collab work Flash Bang Grenada is looked at, and Dianna & King Baby Duck chat about the demo for Dance Central 2, a game that the other Bastards wouldn't touch with a 40-foot pole.

The Joker-like craziness can be found here on Episode 116: Two Babies In A Blanket.

What can be more scary than a hillbilly threatening to kill you for eyeing his daughter wrong? How about if he shot you with a garden gnome missile?

A brand-new trailer for Jimmie Johnson's Anything With An Engine hit the web yesterday, giving players a look at the mower-riding character Hazard Hicks. Here's a quick bio from the press release before the video:

An eclectic farmer from North Carolina, Hazard was recruited to join the over the top competition by Jimmie himself after the champ witnessed him leading police on a high-speed chase in his custom mower. When he’s not out racing, Hazard Hicks also enjoys distilling moonshine and chasing suitors away from his eldest daughter with a squirrel gun.

Jimmie Johnson's Anything With An Engine races past the checkered flag on November 1 on all three consoles.

Welcome back, Burnout series! I thought you were gone, but what has happened to thee? It seems that you have lost your awesome graphics, exchanging them for some cartoon shenanigans. Along with that the in-car to third-person view to this far-away bird's-eye view doesn't help whatsoever. However you were able to keep the crash into cars and create what seemed to be an unlimited amount of explosions.

You may need to go to the hospital for loss of sanity after watching this!

Sadly no, I did not play Burnout Crash! with the Kinect setup, as I don't have that for my Xbox (so no getting the fat body off the couch to play this one!). I'm all for the Kinect, though, seeing as they have more games now that get your ass off the couch and interact, since that could help with the American issue of fat bodies. After watching the Hasselhoff trailer for this game I just want to huddle in a corner and close the door for the rest of my life. (It was scary enough when I was forced to watch the the Spongebob movie, and that Hasselhoff had the characters holding on to his ass while he was in speedboat mode, with I don't know what to propel himself.)

Burnout Crash! isn't all that bad, but it's just one of those things where I think they could've been putting so much more strength back into the main Burnout game. (If you're wondering what I'm talking about I put a couple Burnout videos at the bottom of this article so you can see.) It seems that this is a very cutesy type game to probably play with your friends, or if you got younger siblings or nephew/nieces to distract them with. For me it's just not making the cut to make it a game to keep going back to. I will have to say to the makers of the Burnout series to please step up to the plate and put out the next Burnout installment that we deserve within the next year. I miss the big car crashes and the great graphics that you were able to give us, and the destruction that you could cause in the original titles was absolutely gorgeous, not to mention a great stress reliever for people that need to get out of their system.

Don't take my word for it: go and give this game a try on Xbox Live arcade and PSN so that you can play and see it for yourself.

FINAL GRADE: 7.4 (out of 10)

Burnout CRASH!
Console/Platform:  XBOX Live Arcade, PSN
Company: Criterion Games
Gameplay: Automotive

P.S This seriously needs the revamping, Criterion Games...DO IT!!!!

After dealing with the flooding situation the Bastards return for another new episode.

This week the B3 crew mourns the death of Steve Jobs, and show somewhat indifference to the death of Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis. Baseball playoffs are on the table, as well as the first game from Stanley Cup Champions Boston Bruins and the current world of MMA. The movie Fast Five is reviewed, and a plethora of demos are looked at, including NBA Jam: On Fire Edition, Forza Motorsport 4, Orcs Must Die! and the Battlefield 3 beta.

It's all right here on Episode 115: Only The Good Die Young...And Then There's Al Davis!

Once in a great while there comes a game whose protagonist represents the average guy just doing the right thing to get by. Sometimes the developers get it right, whereas other times they jump the shark and make the hero too strong to symbolize a regular person's strengths. Rochard, the first game from Recoil Games, takes the everyman approach, puts it in space and gives us one hell of a ride.

The game follows John Rochard, an astro-miner with a heart of gold and a wallet near empty. While working on a job for Skyrig Corporation he and his team discover an ancient structure hidden within an asteroid, and as soon as this discovery unravels space bandits invade the work area. From there John must use his lifting and firing skills to take on bandits evil gadgets in order to save his friend and co-worker Skylar, and protect the alien artifact from being used by the wrong hands.

Throughout the five levels of Rochard you must control your character through various puzzles that are keeping you from reaching the next room or area. Within these levels will be boxes, cubes and other sorts of items that will be in your way, but fortunately your gravity gun will be able to pick these items up and either put them to the side or be piled up on top of one another to make a stepping stool to reach high areas. You can control the room's gravity by holding down the L1 button, which will come in handy for those lengthier jumps, and later use it to swing from cube to cube to reach the top of a level. On occasion you will find space bandits there ready to take you down, and that's where the real fun in Rochard begins.

To defeat your enemies you can either do it the easy way via shooting lasers, or you can do it the more exciting way and use the many techniques available for your gravity gun. By picking up a nearby cube or robot enemy you can fling it at your opponent and hear him scream as he is whacked in the face with it. The environment around you can also play into hand for defeating your enemies. Say you have a couple of bandits chasing you on a light bridge that's over an electric field. By plucking the power surge from its holder you can watch the bandits plummet to their shocking deaths. You can also use your bombs, as well, with the bandits' effeminate cries of pain adding onto the humor of the game.

The puzzles in Rochard range from the ridiculously easy to the insanely difficult, with enemy AI almost at every corner to increase the challenge just a tad. One of the more difficult areas of the game comes in the form of self-poisitioning lasers. Using the gravity gun you must angle the lasers properly and tiptoe through without being hit by one (which causes instant death). These puzzles at first seem largely difficult to figure out, but with some sleuthing and a careful eye the solution will appear to you. Just don't think that said solution will have you reaching the next room any quicker, as the time it takes to finish each area of the level can range from seconds to almost ten minutes.

One cannot talk about Rochard without mentioning the sights and sounds of the worlds. Using the Unity engine the folks at Recoil Games managed to create its settings with shining cartoonish beauty. The space casino, where players meet Skylar's uncle Floyd, is a character all in its own, thanks to its bright lights, loud music and engulfing environments. Music from Poets of the Fall's Markus “Captain” Kaarlonen (who helped a bit with Alan Wake) also helps to create the true essence of John Rochard (who happens to be voiced by none other than Mr. Duke Nukem himself Jon St. John). The twangy guitars and convoy-influenced melody of "Grinder Blues" sets itself up to be one of this year's best songs coming from a video game.

Depending on how good you are with puzzle games you can find yourself completing Rochard the first time around in about seven hours, a good amount of time for a $10 game. While there is much replay value in the game (especially when trying to collect the three-hour completion achievement) once the game is over there are no other modes to play in. The lack of co-op or multiplayer modes, not to mention no way to show off your times via online scoreboards to compare with other players with, might turn some gamers off, but in the case of Rochard it's about the all-around experience and story of the game, which there is much to love. (SPOILER ALERT!!!) Just be prepared to be irked with its cliffhanger ending, which will hopefully lead its way into a sequel.

PROS:

• Intriguing storyline, relatable characters
• Puzzles are challenging without being frustrating
• Great music and voice acting

CONS:

• Lack of co-op/multiplayer modes
• No extras

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Rochard is the type of puzzle game that will have you smiling from start to finish, whether it'll be for the ways you can defeat your enemies or the overall puzzle-solving experiences you'll be facing. It's fun, accessible and -- most important of all -- an innovating experience that gamers will cherish for years to come. Recoil Games have made one impressive debut in the video gaming world, and with a title like Rochard topping their resumes you can bet that more great titles will emerge from them in the future. Let's just cross our fingers that Rochard 2 isn't too far down its to-do list.

FINAL GRADE: 8.9 (out of 10)

If you thought dealing with the Japanese mafia was bad, wait until you have to associate them with the undead.

Today SEGA has announced that the Japanese PS3 game Yakuza of the End will be given a US release in March of 2012. Retitled Yakuza: Dead Souls the game will have the classic characters brought back to Kamurocho to fend off demons and zombies that wish to destroy all that they love about the red-light district. Like Yakuza 4 this game will focus on the storyline through the eyes of four of the more popular characters in the series.

Yakuza: Dead Souls will also be the first Yakuza title that will feature gunplay, something most fans of the series have been clamoring for. Weaponry such as pistols, machine guns and rocket launchers will be at your disposal, though it is best to save the bigger ammo for the more tougher zombies and mutants that you'll be facing. The American release will feature the full game, the all-new mini-game Pachislot, as well as DLC content that has yet to be announced.

The Vagabonds stop by the Bastard realm for an all-new episode.

This week the Vagabonds share their experiences at the first annual Great New England Steampunk Exhibition, where they took part in many panels and witnessed some unique artifacts and designs being displayed by the con-goers. Anvil shares the sour week in sports, including the failed run of the Red Sox season and the farewell of Terry Francona. Next the nominees for the 2012 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame are looked at, as the discussion of a couple nominees are put into question. Finally the demo for Sesame Street: Once Upon A Monster is reviewed for our parental fanbase, and a longer discussion on Dead Island is held for Anvil and Locke.

Stabby-stabby kill-kill things sold separately. It's Episode 114: Where Are All The Sharp Things?

Get ready for some more side-scrolling anarchy from EA Games...

At this week's EA event in Las Vegas it was revealed that Shank 2 is currently in production for a 2012 release. Little is known yet about the title, though EA's Andy Katkin revealed in the EA live blog that this sequel was going to be a little bit different from its predecessor.

"Shank 2 isn't just a reboot of Shank," Katkin wrote, "it's an entirely new game."

Jamie Cheng of Klei Entertainment (the developers of Shank) also revealed that the way you play Shank 2 will also be different. "We tore our combat system apart," Cheng said, "and created new controls to be able to use the enemies' weapons against themselves." The co-op mode found in the original has also been tinkered. "We took the mechanics and created a new way of playing: multiplayer co-op survival mode."

Shank 2 will be released on Xbox Live Arcade, PSN and the PC. If you want to refresh yourselves, check out our review of the original here.

King Baby Duck and Anvil come together to bring you Bastards, Bastettes and Wenches another short, informative show.

This week the duo chat about the recent Fucked Up/Wavves show at the Royale, and tell why Damian might be one of the world's best frontmen. KBD gives his reasons why Drive might be one of the greatest films ever made, and Anvil pulls a double-duty with the films Paintball and Paul. The demos for NBA 2K11, Burnout Crash! and Renegade Ops are placed under the microscope, and Anvil wraps it up with the week in sports.

It's all right here on Episode 113: The Renegade Driver.

Ugly Americans is one of the funniest cartoons to come out stateside, thanks in part to its inventive characters, humorous storylines and one-liners. When word got out that there would be a video game tie-in called Ugly Americans: Apocalypsegeddon coming out for the PSN and Xbox Live Arcade I got genuinely excited. Alas, my excitement died down quickly when I started playing it.

In Apocalypsegeddon more Hell than usual is breaking loose, thanks in part to Callie's recently-discovered half-sister getting married to Twayne and causing the start of armageddon. Throughout the game she, Mark, Leonard and Grimes battle it out with man-birds, zombies, demons and other strange creatures that roam New York City on a daily basis. With a never-ending supply of weapons -- ranging from baseballs and lamps to demon heads -- the protagonists of the show do all they can to stop the end of the world...until a proper date can be determined by the Maggotbone family.

At first look Apocalypsegeddon looks like a finely-made video game version of the cartoon. The characters are brought to life in such a way that they appear to be perfect 3D rendering of the Ugly Americans world. With the main voice acting cast onboard the title even sounds like the show. Unfortunately while playing the game itself the one-liners get old fast, due in part to them being repeated over and over again. (I can go through the rest of my life without having to hear a man-bird scream "Suck my balls!" ever again, thank you very much.) What's worse is that, while funny, the cut scenes are done in a storyboard fashion, and not fully animated, taking away some of the cool aspects of the animated series itself. If there is one thing I can't stand in the gaming world, it's seeing companies cut corners in the FMV department.

In the game you and three co-op/online players take on eleven side-scrolling levels and battle it out with a vast amount of creatures. Some take easy hits to kill, while the bigger ones take time to defeat. To shoot you simply aim the right control stick in any direction, which will then let your character start melee blasting. The R1 button can also be used for a more powerful special attack. While it is an easy-to-use control scheme it gives way to one of my biggest complaint about the game: it's too repetitious. You can just keep on shooting throughout the levels, not having to stop at all. It also doesn't help that the enemy AI seems to only do the same three things at all times: chase, attack or throw stuff at you.

The only redeeming quality that Ugly Americans: Apocalypsegeddon has is that if you are playing with two or more players there will be more enemies to kill to raise your score, though depending on what kind of baddies you face that might act more like a hinderance than anything. However this aspect can lead to much on-screen confusion. Many times did I lose track of my character, only to find it being beaten to death by the enemy AI, forcing me to start the level all over again. You might want to play by yourself before you invite others to join, until you get used to the game's surroundings.

Now comes the worst part about the game: it's under two hours long! Even playing alone I found myself beating each level below the ten-minute mark. With there being little-to-nothing to go back for replay value-wise it seriously makes the $10 price tag a complete and utter rip-off.

PROS:

• Looks like you're playing the actual cartoon
• Features the show's trademark humor
• Easy control scheme

CONS:

• Horribly repetitive
• Ridiculously short for a $10 game
• Cut scenes aren't fully animated
• Where the hell is our favorite zombie Randall Skeffington?!

FINAL THOUGHTS:

As a cartoon Ugly Americans is one of the funniest out there. As a video game, however, Apocalypsegeddon is a massive failure of a joke. It is to be avoided like a group of zombies that wish to feast on your brains. Any fan of Ugly Americans would feel betrayed after playing this, and if you want to continue liking the series it'd be best to pretend Apocalypsegeddon didn't exist.

FINAL GRADE: 2.5 (out of ten)

So awful it made Doug cry! (On second thought, everything makes him cry.)

]]> http://www.bostonbastardbrigade.com/2011/09/apocalypsegeddon-plays-ugly/feed/ 0 http://www.bostonbastardbrigade.com/2011/09/ni-no-kuni-coming-to-america/ http://www.bostonbastardbrigade.com/2011/09/ni-no-kuni-coming-to-america/#comments Sat, 17 Sep 2011 15:12:16 +0000 King Baby Duck http://www.bostonbastardbrigade.com/?p=5860

The video game collaboration between Studio Ghibli (Porco Rosso, Spirited Away, Ponyo) and Level-5 (Professor Layton series) is heading stateside.

Yesterday Level-5 president Akihiro Hino announced that the English version of the PS3 title Ni no Kuni: Shiroki Seihai no Joō (translated as "Second Country: The Queen of White Sacred Ash") will be released sometime in America in early 2012. The game follows a young boy named Oliver, who receives a doll soon after his mother passes away. The doll reveals itself to be a fairy named Shizuka, who gives Oliver a magic book that can take him to an alternate world. There he goes on a quest to find a cure to revive his mother, battling all sorts of dangers with the help of his friends. Ni no Kuni features original animation from Studio Ghibli, as well as sound direction from acclaimed composer Joe Hisashi.

An official US release date for the Ni no Kuni DS title Shikkoku no Madōshi ("The Jet-Black Mage") has yet to be determined.

Saying the hype for Dead Island was big is a great understatement. Gamers and developers rushed like moths to the lantern to see the most-talked about video game trailer in recent memory, greatly anticipating the sort of zombie title we've been craving for years. After months of waiting we have finally arrived at our Dead Island destination. Is this the Left 4 Dead meets Dead Rising title we've been craving, or is it something a lot more?

Players take control of one of the four playable characters (Purna, Logan, Sam and Xian) as they take on the task to save the rest of the survivors on Banoi, an island filled to the brim with members of the undead. Your character is apparently the only one immune to zombie bites, so you (and up to three co-op buddies) can run around the island to gather supplies, save others and battle many different shapes and sizes of the walking dead. With a ton of weapons at your disposal and a breath of hope players will have to give it their all in order to save the people from becoming those that seek human flesh.

The trailer that shook the world...

In Dead Island gamers take up missions in order to raise their levels and gather the necessary equipment to get off the island, ranging from simple search & rescue to warding off zombies while turning off fire hydrants to save the island's water supply. Throughout the island you'll have to search for any weapons to use in order to kill what is already dead, but use a weapon too much and it becomes blunt or exhausted. Fortunately within some of the confines you will find work benches where you'll be able to fix your weapons up, and on occasion upgrade them if you have the proper funds. To find said funds you scavenger around areas with packages, bags or corpses that may be carrying some extra cash (and, at times, a new weapon for your personal gain).

The zombies' difficulties can range from the simple to the most extremely difficult. On most occasions you will find yourself battling with at least three undead creatures at a time, and sometimes it will take more than one swipe to off them. Though you can aim for the head and decapitate a zombie for a one-slice kill it very difficult to achieve that when you're neck-deep in undead chaos. To add a sort of realism to it players can experience fatigue if they swipe too many times or run fast for too long, and while it might hinder your experience it gives players the opportunity to think of more creative ways to tackle on the undead. (HINT: kicking helps.) While on Dead Island players will be able to sharpen their skills with an RPG-styled leveling system. The more successful kills you make the closer you get to leveling up your character. A tree system is also in play, where you can upgrade your abilities to help achieve your greatest advantage points.

One of the most unique things about Dead Island is its usage of sound in order to seek out zombies to kill. When entering an area you'll hear a scream or roar from a zombie, and it's your task to figure out which direction they'll be coming from. By listening carefully you can determine if they'll be charging towards you up front or partaking in a sneak attack from behind. Sometimes, however, you won't know when or where they'll be coming, especially indoors or in dark places. Your flashlight will come in handy for the latter, but by the time you see a zombie it will have already seen you. Believe me: your heart will jump at times when those things come attacking.

If you die in Dead Island you will have money taken away from you as penalty and then revive back at a certain checkpoint. Where the checkpoint is, however, is a bit of a gamble. Sometimes you will come back around in the same area, whereas other times you'll find yourself further away from your questing spot. I once died in the gas station trying to defeat one of the more tougher zombies, only to find myself revived on the other side of the island. After running back as fast as I could to the gas station I wound up dying via the same zombie, and again found myself at the other side of the island. In short: some of these revival spots can hinder you more than do good, especially if you literally come back within a massive zombie attack.

I was impressed with the heavy details put into the world and creatures around you. Techland is known for creating some of the most gorgeous worlds, as evident in their last title nail'd, and it shows greatly in the most tropical of areas on the island. From the swaying trees and the beautiful oceans to the buildings and cathedrals the world of Dead Island is a perfect contrast to the horrors you see in the game. The undead walkers are scary as hell, especially when they're charging towards you at top speeds. Granted there will be some clipping in a couple areas, but for the most part the game looks great. Regular human characters, however, kind of look subpar and emotionless.

While the aiming system is a bit tough -- especially when surrounded by zombies -- the rest of the control scheme is very easy to figure out. Using the quick inventory comes in handy for whenever you're in the middle of an undead melee, with simple kicking playing in to just knocking down a few zombies like dominos. You can even throw your weapons at either zombies or nearby explosives, and with its lock-on aiming system it makes playing undead darts a breeze. Driving around handles pretty well, but there will be some vehicles that will make it a bit difficult to see through the front window. Having said that driving head-on through a ton of zombies is a gory blast, with some of them splattering amongst your truck like jelly.

When co-op mode comes into play the true fun begins. You can tag along with other players to accomplish missions, or wait around for others to join yours. When you have at least one other person with you it makes zombie killing much easier. However be aware that if you are to join in on another person's game that your progress from that point will not be counted in your mission log. If you aren't the type that likes to repeat a level then it'd be best to wait for someone to join your quest rather then join theirs.

The storyline in Dead Island is pretty straightforward, and while there isn't much of originality within the tale there's enough going on within the game that will keep players intrigued. Completing the main part of the game might take roughly twenty hours, but that does not include the side quests that will help build up your levels and skills. With tons to accomplish and much land to cover you can probably expect a good forty hours to complete every single task, and with excitement around every corner there will be many reasons to book another vacation in Banoi.

PROS:

• Zombies are scary as hell!
• Many quests to partake in
• Co-op mode is a blast to play
• Gorgeous visuals

CONS:

• Some clipping areas during levels, cutscenes
• Human characters look more lifeless than zombies
• Can't save progress if you join another player's game online
• Storyline could've used a twist or two

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Dead Island takes what we've loved in past zombie-killing titles and cranks it up a few notches. While there are a couple hinderances that make this game not flawless there is so much to accomplish and love that these hinderances are a minor itch in the gaming system, one that can easily be fixed with a patch. Dead Island is the horror title we've been dreaming about for years, giving as many frights as there are quests and obstacles to enhance the experience. For once you can believe the hype: Dead Island is the real deal!

FINAL GRADE: 9.5 (out of ten)

Review copy provided by Aubrey Norris and the folks at Deep Silver.

After years of waiting, footage from Rockstar's upcoming Max Payne sequel has arrived.

Max Payne 3 is due in March 2012 on Xbox 360, PS3 and PC. From the looks of the trailer we can probably expect a new twist on the world of Mr. Payne. Let's just hope those crazy mindfuck levels are still intact in this game.

The trouble with trilogies is that each time someone wants to do a sequel they mainly focus on making things bigger and better, only to forego the true spirit of the original and leaving the follow-ups to be as soulless as the corpse of James Brown. Fortunately these issues rarely show up in the gaming world, where developers return to their favorites to properly figure out what they did wrong last time and how they can better the property at hand. While the Killzone series has so far been nearly faultless there have been times during gameplay where you just wanna throw the controller at the TV and light up every curse word you can think of. Killzone 3, on the other hand, eases these frustrations, thanks in part to its edge-of-your-seat mayhem, great mechanics and amazing overall appearance. However there are some things about the latest Killzone that have left me feeling uneasy...

For those of you who are not familiar with the Killzone series I will bring you up to speed. There is a war going on between the Interplanetary Strategic Alliance and the antagonists the Helghasts. The Helghast Emperor Scolar Visari is now dead thanks to the ISA, and now two members of the Helghast government are wanting to take control of their world: Admiral Orlock (Ray Winstone) and Jorhan Stahl (Malcolm McDowell), the chairman of Stahl Arms. While both people fight over control the ISA infiltrate what's left of the Helghast nation, saving their fellow captured troops and taking down the enemies once and for all. Stahl, however, has got bigger plans up his sleeve, involving the destruction of the planet Earth. While it might seem like there's a lot of catching up to do for gamers who haven't played any of the past Killzone titles there are enough flashbacks and backstories within the game that will have you caught up with the past events in no time.

Because they know you'd like to recover from the Labor Day weekend the Bastards present a new bite-sized episode for your consumption.

This week the B3 crew looks at the new TsuShiMaMiRe album Giving Blood, and explain why that particular group had a hand in creating the B3 realm in the first place. King Baby Duck and Blueonic give their thoughts on the demos for The Gunstringer, Rock of Ages, The Baconing and Ugly Americans: Apocalypsegeddon, and Anvil dives into his sport segment with Patriots preseason, the downward spiral of the recent Red Sox games and his visit to the gym of Team Pradal Seray.

It's hot off the grill on Episode 110: Bloody Vengeance From A Rock.

Can you wait one more week for the zombie insanity to begin? The folks at Deep Silver hopes one more Dead Island trailer will suffice your cravings...

The undead rise again in on September 6 on PS3, Xbox 360 and PC.

There have been many adaptations of the popular Chinese mythological story Journey To The West, whether they're done via anime (Saiyuki, Dragon Ball), Chinese TV serials and operas written by the dudes who created Gorillaz (Monkey: Journey To The West). In regards to the video game realm there has been very little to few in-between when it comes to bringing the classic tale to the consoles. Last year famed motion capture actor Andy Serkis and 28 Days Later writer Alex Garland teamed up to bring us a more Western approach to the tale, known as Enslaved: Odyssey To The West.

Taking place in a post-apocalyptic America Enslaved follows a man known simply as Monkey (played by Serkis), who escapes from an egg-shaped capsule and flees from a plane that is falling apart. When he wakes up Monkey finds himself in control of a woman named Trip (Lindsey Shaw), who has placed a mind control device on his head. Trip tells Monkey that she needs his help to get home, and if he runs away or lets her die then he shall die as well. Using his climbing abilities, a powerful staff and a flying device known as Cloud Monkey is able to take down mechs, solve puzzles and protect Trip from harm's way.

The first thing that surprised me about Enslaved was how close to the original source material it was. Three of the main characters from Journey To The West are in attendance, which also includes Pigsy (Richard Ridings) later on in the game. Monkey's weapons are just about the same as the traditional story, and while the Cloud may is now more of a technological invention than a god-given power it still rings true to the original concept. The original story didn't have robots like in the game, but they fit as a well-done substitute for the various demons that the true source had. For a futuristic adaptation Odyssey To The West keeps to the true spirit of the epic Chinese tale.

Playing Enslaved Monkey will have many abilities on-hand, as well as the option to upgrade your powers via collecting tech orbs found either lying around or popping out of defeated enemies. Trip also has her own abilities that help to make gameplay a tad more simpler in the long run, including the ability to use a hologram to distract enemies. Controlling the game is a breeze, as well, considering all the different powers you have. Meleeing against enemies with your staff is very simplistic, and while there is a lot of button-mashing involved it doesn't get to the point where your fingers start throbbing in agony. Switching between the more powerful weapons within your staff is also easy, with a mere flick left and right to choose the ones you want. Using the Cloud might take a bit getting used to, but once you figure out the ins and outs of using it within the specific levels you discover that it's tons of fun to fly around if you find the right areas.

Graphically the overall look of Enslaved is stunning, and it is amazing how much detail was put into the appearance of the characters. Using motion-capture techniques the movements and looks of the characters were pinpointed to the nth degree, and thanks to the usage of the Unreal Engine the game's visuals are gorgeous. Seeing a forest growing within the ruins of New York City was quite a sight to behold, and the other worlds glimmered with a sort of realistic vibe to it. Unfortunately there are bugs in the game, especially when it comes to loading certain areas. In Part Four of the game I was told to battle out some robots before making it onto the theater stage, and when I went down there were no enemies to be found. There was also a moment in the last boss battle where I was taking care of some side enemies, and I wound up losing my staff abilities for no apparent reason. When I went to go back to the last checkpoint instead of jumping to the last part of the game I was on it instead went back twenty minutes to the section before the last boss, forcing me to redo everything at that point.

One other gripe about Odyssey To The West is its length time. I wound up beating the game in roughly seven hours, and for a title that was $60 at its release time it seemed like a bit too much. (As of right now it's roughly $15-20 on Amazon and Gamestop, which is not a bad deal.) Fortunately the story and gameplay aspects make up for its short-comings, not to mention that it has a quite an interesting ending that deals with what's right to do in a trashed-up world looking for a place to escape all the hopelessness. It also helps that the dialogue in the game can be quite funny at times. I don't want to spoil anything, but let's just say there's a hilariously awkward moment between Pigsy and Monkey.

PROS:

• Stays true to the original material
• Good gameplay and puzzle mechanics
• Gorgeous visuals and easy control scheme

CONS:

• Some buggy areas keep the game from being well-rounded
• Tad short for its own good
• Can be a bit too easy at times

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Enslaved is one of those titles that could've been a masterpiece, but due to its bugs and game length it can only be considered pretty good. Still for what it's worth Enslaved is a gaming experience that you don't see often in this world, and that's something I hope is changed in the near-future. As it's been out for almost a year the game's current low price helps make Enslaved worth checking out. Cross your fingers that Garland and Serkis will work together again to bring forth another great title, only with fewer glitches.

FINAL GRADE: 7.7 (out of ten)

Out of all the games I've played both at PAX East and E3 no title has gotten me more excited to put my shift into gear than Jimmie Johnson's Anything With An Engine. It's almost time to truly put the pedal to the metal...

According to a recent trailer it was announced that Jimmie Johnson's Anything With An Engine will be hitting Xbox 360, PS3 and Wii on October 11. Racing enthusiasts alike will be able to choose from various racers like dumpsters, lawnmowers and old-school rockets and go head-to-head (sometimes literally, in the case of Matador Mode) across thirteen different tracks and different playing styles. The game will feature eight-player online modes, as well as classic four-player split-screen for in-room combat with friends. Players can also expect secret surprises, traps and goodies on each level that will either help or hinder you on your quest for victory.

Check out the trailer below and see what insanity is in store for you, and read our PAX East and E3 reports on what could be this year's most fun title:

Good PS Minis titles come far and few in-between, and while some may be made as something as to waste some unneeded time Dr. Maybee and the Adventures of Scarygirl at least has enough heart and tradition at its core to make it a title worth looking at.

Developed by Tik Games Dr. Maybee has players take control of Scarygirl, a better known for her graphic novel adventures written by Nathan Jurevicius. Here the protagonist wakes up in her tree house, haunted by a man in her dream who may be a link to her forgotten past. Scarygirl decides to go out on a search for answers, with gaining assistance along the way from her friends Bunniguru and Blister. Along the way Scarygirl will find herself collecting rubies, fish and other objects needed to complete each level.

For the most part the gameplay setup is relatively the same: start at Point A, then work your way towards Point B. Scarygirl's abilities are also limited, with mainly just jump and spin attack buttons. Combining the two will help Scarygirl spin up higher to land on those hard-to-reach places. Later on in the last couple of levels you will have to complete tasks such as collect cogs and press buttons to reveal hidden ladders in order to reach the other side. For the most part Dr. Maybee and the Adventures of Scarygirl is fairly easy to play, but in later levels you might find yourself scratching your head while figuring out how to take town the flame-throwing goblins and evade some of the slithering creatures that crawl on the ground.

Dr. Maybee's overall look is quite wonderful, as it captures the appearance of the original comic pretty well. Clocking in at just under two hours Dr. Maybee is a good title for those who have not played the original online game. (At this moment it is no longer on the official Scarygirl site.) However be warned that you might get relatively pissed off at the ending of the game; you may even feel like you've wasted your time on it. While it tends to be a bit inventive with what it has Dr. Maybee is limited to what a PS Minis game can handle.

PROS:

• Good traditional gameplay core
• Nice artistry, inventive characters
• Simple controls for all ages to play

CONS:

• Some frustrating moments in the last couple levels
• The ending...WTF!

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Dr. Maybee and the Adventures of Scarygirl is nowhere near-perfect, and those who have played the original may want to pass on this. However the game does fare well with giving players a nostalgic take on old-school platform gamers, and will serve as a precursor for the upcoming Scarygirl title currently in works from Tik Games for PSN and Xbox Live Arcade. If you wanna freshen yourself up before its release date I suggest giving Dr. Maybee a whirl; if not, then there's always the original graphic novel to read.

FINAL GRADE: 6.7 (out of 10)

Review copy provided by Tik Games.

Music, anime, movies, games and sports! It's a big-assed smorgasbord on this new episode of the B3 show!

This week King Baby Duck gives props to the female bands on the Lady Killer Tour, promotes the local band The Battleships and looks at the recent album from Lady Killer Tour group Vanity Theft. The anime Baka & Test: Summon The Beasts is on the table, and the King is quickly reminded why he doesn't review anime without a second otaku in the room...

Blueonic and the King review the Grindhouse flick Hobo With A Shotgun, the demos for Bodycount and Fruit Ninja Kinect are looked closely at and Blueonic shares his reasons why Toy Soldiers: Cold War might be the best Xbox Live Arcade game of the year. Finally Anvil gives his weekly sports report, sharing his thoughts on what seems to be Tim Wakefield's never-ending quest for his 200th win, the Pats pre-season and the goings-on in the MMA world.

It's all here in a neat little package on Episode 108: Going Commando On The Cold War!

One of my favorite games at E3 this year is finally set to take on the world...

According to the recent PSN blog Overkill Software's PAYDAY: The Heist has been set for an October 4th release date on the PSN and PC, with a price tag of $19.99. In PAYDAY players in either single-player or co-op modes enter the roles of bank robbers as they take down guards, capture hostages, negotiate with the police outside, crack into vaults and do what you can to escape the fuzz and drive off with the prize.

To get yourself familiar with PAYDAY: The Heist check out our E3 coverage of it right here!

It's Podcast time again, with an episode filled to the brim with gaming, sports and recent movies!

This week King Baby Duck looks at the demo of Driver: San Francisco, comparing his experiences with the game both with this version and the one he played at E3. Blueonic reviews From Dust, revealing that even an atheist can have a god complex, and a roundtable discussion on how often companies should release sports-related games.

In the world of sports the Red Sox and Pats are once again on the table, along with the current ranks of the PGA Championship and the Arena Bowl Championship. Finally Mr. Cuse looks at the film 30 Minutes Or Less, Blueonic shares his thoughts on Captain America: The First Avenger and Anvil chimes in about a little-known film called D.O.A.

It happens right here on Episode 107: He Drops Back...He Passes...TOUCHDOWN!!!

Has the man who brought us such jaw-dropping titles as No More Heroes, Killer7 and Shadows of the Damned finally topped himself? After seeing the trailer for the upcoming title Lollipop Chainsaw the answer is very obvious!

Due in 2012 for the Xbox 360 and PS3 and developed by Suda51 and his Grashopper Manufacture company Lollipop Chainsaw follows Juliet, a sexy cheerleader with a badass chainsaw and a pure hatred for zombies. Little is still known about the game, but from what the trailer showcases it can be expected that blood, guts, over-the-top humor and sexual innuendos will be coming at you in the bucket loads! (The game is also the brainchild of James Gunn, who brought us such gory classics as Tromeo & Juliet and Slither.)

Check out the Lollipop Chainsaw trailer below and try not to laugh maniacally:

Sega Rally Championship was one of those titles that made gamers charge towards it in the arcades. Its realistic driving and great graphics (for its time, of course) helped to put Sega on top of the racing gaming world. However as years progressed, and more top-geared racers have been made by the likes of Codemasters and even Disney, the days of Sega Rally seemed to be just a thing of past remembrance. When Sega announced that it would be releasing the third entry in the Sega Rally series, dubbed Sega Rally Online Arcade, I was ecstatic. Sadly that excitement quickly turned into disappointment as soon as I pressed start.

In Sega Rally Online Arcade players have the chance to race through three different worlds, five tracks and thirteen different cars. In single player mode there are four choices players can go through: Championship, Quick Race, Time Attack and Classic. In Championship mode players take part in a tournament where they race in three different rounds on the three main courses (Tropical, Canyon and Alpine) and try to reach first place from their beginning 22nd. While zooming past some of the cars is easy at times, it is in the higher ranks where the AI of the game sharply increases, to the point where it is almost impossible to be the top racer in the crew. On second thought, scratch out the "almost" part from my previous statement; it IS impossible to win against the AI in these races, even on the easiest setting. (One hundred races, and I've yet to even come third, let alone first!) While Classic mode has you racing on a very well-made remake on the Desert track from the original Sega Rally the nostalgia quickly dies away when you are faced once again with the ridiculously hard AI.

The strongest aspect of the game comes from its multiplayer modes, which can be played both split-screen and online with five other players. The vast amounts of gaming styles shine brightly through in Sega Rally Online Arcade, including Dominator (where player with the most points via the track's checkpoints wins), Knockout (the last-place racer in each lap is eliminated), Time Lag (the player behind the first place racer must cross the checkpoints within a few seconds or be defeated) and online modes of both Classic modes and Championship. It is here where I started to wonder what sort of stellar game Sumo Digital Ltd. could've made if they had focused as much time and effort on Single Player mode as they had in Multiplayer mode. Nevertheless the vastness of the multiplayer section in Sega Rally Online Arcade was quite refreshing.

Using an engine known as Granny 3D it is a wonder at how good Sega Rally Online Arcade looks, despite its massive flaws. The shine of each vehicle is spot-on, and the terrain you race on each level leaves your vehicle with realistic scratches and bumps, not to mention the occasional mud stains on both your car and screen. As far as the sound goes it comes quite close to feeling like you're taking part in an actual race, thanks in part to the revs in the vehicles engines and all-around atmosphere around the levels. One thing's for sure: the folks at Sumo Digital Ltd. have what it takes to make one amazing racer. Unfortunately you won't find it here.

With only five tracks to race on the game gets old fast, and the fact that you have to unlock over half of the vehicles and tracks to play them makes it all the more frustrating to play. In order to unlock these "gems" of sort you'll have to win specific racers, which wouldn't be so bad if the AI wasn't as difficult as it was. I know it sounds like the immature complaints of a gamer who can't take the outcome of a loss well, but I cannot stand a game that doesn't give you even the slightest leeway of chalking up a win. There is a supposed to be a fair balance between AI and gamer, but it seems that the developers made the computer-controlled racers too smart for their own good.

PROS:

• Vast online mode
• Great, realistic graphics
• Classic mode

CONS:

• AI makes it impossible to win
• Very bare in the track department
• More single player modes would've been nice

FINAL THOUGHTS:

As an online racer Sega Rally Online Arcade does a fine job with catering to the needs of those wanting to find some fun with gamers from across the world. As a single-player experience, however, it fails to reach the lengths of other racing games like Dirt and Split/Second. While it may sound like a steal at 800 MSP or $9.99 on PSN the frustrating outcome of your races will be a sharp reminder that you had just wasted your money on a mediocre, unforgiving title. My advice: steer off-track to avoid this car wreck of a racer.

FINAL GRADE: 4.1 (out of ten)

From the trailer that shook the world to going hands-on with it at E3 everything about Dead Island has excited me to the core. Now the folks at Techland and Deep Silver have revealed what happens when you and a couple friends get into the zombie-killing melee.

As one can see from the trailer there will be plenty of gore, meleeing, decapitations and blood-splattering action for horror game enthusiasts to salivate over. Only one month until Dead Island finally hits the store shelves, and the question of whether or not it will be the zombie game to end all zombies games will be answered.

Fear not gamers, for this is not a video game based on the hair metal Broadway musical. Instead Atlus and ACE Team's Rock of Ages is a game whose concept can be explained in its title alone. At E3 I had the chance to go hands-on with the title, leaving me with my funny bone tickled and a much heavier anticipation for the game's release.

As the Greek character Sisyphus players will have to literally roll through the various time periods, bringing wanton destruction with your giant boulders and taking down every person you come face-to-face with. The opponent will be doing the exact same thing, so it'll be up to you to defend your area from being destroyed. You'll find yourself creating ruins in Ancient Greece, flattening out the Dark Ages in Medieval times and smooshing the hearts (and bodies) of the townspeople in the Romanticism era. Gamers will also be given the chance to go head-to-head in various multiplayer modes, including rock-to-rock combat, SkeeBoulder, Time Trial and many more to be announced soon. At the Atlus booth I was able to try out two of their tutorial modes, one main level and go head-to-head with one of the guys from Atlus in a multiplayer mode.

For the tutorial modes I was given the opportunity to figure out the ins and outs of Rock of Ages. Aram Jabbari, Atlus's PR & Sales Manager, gave me a quick demonstration of how the game works before handing it off to me. You move the boulder around the town, destroying everything you can to build up points. You also must learn to swerve around objects during crucial moments, as at the end of the level is a door that needs to be smashed open to win. The level is completed when you squish the king behind the door.

Maneuvering the boulder in Rock of Ages is somewhat reminiscent of playing the game of labyrinth, in which you'll find yourself trying to teeter on the thinest strips of land, trying hard not to fall off. Fortunately if you do fall off you'll be picked up by the hand of God and dropped back into the game, though you might be penalized if this does happen. In regards to defense mode players will be able to build towers and place catapults in the way of the opponent's rock, which will either slow it down or send it flying off-course. Gamers will also be able to insert balloons and other weird flying machines that will block the opponents from enter hidden paths, and command animals to keep the boulder from reaching its goal.

While playing Rock of Ages one key word kept ringing in my head: Pythonesque. The game pays heavy homage to the British comedy legends, especially to Terry Gilliam's animation style. Characters and worlds seem to be pulled right out of those kooky, nonsensical cartoons that take classical art pieces and use them in such a way that their original creators were spinning in their graves. Even the soundtrack adds nod to Monty Python, with silly screams from the people and crunchy crashes from the buildings you destroy; and yes, the king at the end of the level gets flattened with a farty splat.

While I played the single-player mode at the Atlus booth I had to play the multiplayer section in the Microsoft section at E3. There I met with Atlus's Assistant Editor Clayton Chan, who showed me the ropes of two of the multiplayer modes. First we both went head-to-head in a regular multiplayer battle. I made the quick mistake of spending too much on useless defense items instead of saving them for more powerful boulders, with the end result being Chan handing my ass to me on a silver platter in what was a very close battle. I quickly got my revenge, however, in SkeeBoulder, in which the more items I smashed the higher my points would accumulate when I reached the end of each level.

After hearing so much about it beforehand I was very happy with the results I've seen thus far in Rock of Ages. With a release date of August 31 on PSN, Xbox Live Arcade and PC gamers will not have to wait long to play a game that will not have them rolling through the times, but also all along the floor laughing their heads off.

What's better than have the Issues Program dudes show up to talk about the first half-year in gaming? How about having pro gamer, reviewer and model Raychul Moore joining the roundtable?

In a special episode the Bastards welcome Issues Guy, JC Sergeant and Raychul Moore to the program, as they dissect the current goings-on in the gaming world. Find out which games have already made it to their best-of 2011 list, and which upcoming titles they're looking forward to most. Plus the gang chimes in on the true nature and style of Duke Nukem Forever, and figure out if L.A. Noire is a title that deserves to be on the pedestal that other gaming sites seem to put them on.

It's all right here on this super-sized episode of the Boston Bastard Brigade. It's Episode 105: The Elite Gamers Of The Benevolent Press!

Rage is one of this year's most hotly anticipated titles, and after going hands-on with it at E3 there are plenty of reasons why.

Developed by id Software (the same folks that brought us Wolfenstein, Doom and Quake) and published by Bethesda Rage will have players take the role of a survivor in 2038, where a meteorite impact has caused the world to let all hell break loose. Hostels and mutants reek havoc on what's left of Earth, and it's up to you to restore order in your area. With your trusty dune buggy you must travel throughout the land to blow away the freaks and creatures that aim to strike fear into the hearts of the remaining survivors.

At E3 I was able to go hands-on with the Mutant Bash TV level. In it your character participates in a game show where you'll have to kill mutants in the quickest time possible to earn cash. You enter a certain section of the TV studio, and the mutants enter through the floor, doors and Futurama-styled pipe entries. As soon as I walked onto the game show floor the mutants came charging at me, with my initial response being to shoot until everything in the room is dead. Easier said than done, for the AI in Rage is ridiculously hard. I found it took roughly twenty shots to kill the weakest of characters. However when it came to take on the final boss of the level (a Kraken-inspired freak of nature) I wound up destroying him in under a minute, which was quicker than dealing with a regular mutant.

I had a bittersweet experience with the controls. The good news is it's easy to switch weapons and use the secondary ones, sometimes while in the toughest parts of battle. Meleeing is also far easy than in most games, coming in as second-nature to what you do in the game. However because of the speed of the AI it was almost impossible for me to aim properly at the mutants, leaving me to waste more of my ammo than actually use. Trust me when I said that easy melee maneuver will come in handy when six of those creatures are slicing at you all at once. One big side of Rage features some of the most gorgeous graphics I've seen in a game at E3. Everything from the scratches on your dune buggy to the facial expressions on the mutants was heavily detailed, and with the game running at sixty frames per second and no lag it is clear that not a second of the four years it has taken to create the game have not been wasted.

What I saw at E3 was just a fraction of what to expect when Rage is released, a title that will also include two multiplayer modes, weapon and buggy customization and even Burnout-styled racing. With a release date of October 4th on PS3, Xbox 360 and PC id Software is gearing up to show once again why they're the true kings of heart-stopping first-person shooters, and with Bethesda on their side Rage is looking to blow people away with its stellar graphics and apocalyptic gameplay. Just prepare to use your melee skills to the fullest potential, and savor the bullets for when the right moments come.

The Ubisoft booth at E3 was filled with games of many shapes and sizes, but only one title had my keenest eye glimmer with much anticipation. As a fan of the Driver series since it first appeared in 1999 I was ecstatic to hear that the game was set to return on all three home consoles. First getting wind of it back in 2005 I waited patiently for more news of it to be released as the years progressed. Fortunately the wait was nearing the end, and after going hands-on with Driver: San Francisco I left the booth with more excitement.

Taking place after the events in Driv3r the game will focus mainly on Tanner, who is in a coma after a mission gone bad and is stuck in a dream world version of the Golden Gate City. Being in a coma has its perks in the game, however, as it gives Tanner the ability to take over any vehicle he likes with a mere push of a button. For the demo of Driver: San Francisco I was able to try out a portion of the free-roaming mode and race mode.

In free-roaming mode players will be able to drive around freely though the city of cable cars and Rice-A-Roni, all 208 miles of road that is confined into the town. As players complete objectives throughout the town new missions and goals will be made available for you to tackle throughout the rest of the game. While you are given the ability to switch to any vehicle (known as Shift in the game), the power is limited, and in order to power up more Shift power you must perform certain stunts like power slides and big jumps to fill the meter.

Playing in free-roaming mode gave me a good look at how both graphically and audibly Driver: San Francisco is going to be. Crashes are heavily detailed, with even the tiniest of dents appearing on the vehicle after a run-in. The sounds of the vehicles also gave off the proper authentic feel of driving fast within a crowded city. Also on key was its control scheme, where making quick turns and swerves was fairly easier to do than most other racing titles. While this sort of control scheme doesn't reflect on a realistic standpoint it does well with creating a sort of arcade aspect to the Driver experience. (As the game does take place in someone's coma I expect there to be some sort of off-the-wall mission that defies much logic.)

The other mode I was able to go hands-on with was Race Mode, in which you control two racers via Shift and need to finish in both first and second place. While it sounds simple enough the A.I. in the other vehicles you're racing against makes the task a lot more difficult. There were times where one of the opponents seemed to want to take out one of my vehicles in an attempt to sacrifice their place and help their fellow racer reach the front of the line. The Shift has its perks, though, especially if the car you're in is about to veer off-course. I was able to get into first place, but lost the second place position by a mere half-second.

So far Driver: San Francisco is gearing up to be a fine follow-up to the popular series. With these modes, not to mention the split-screen/online multiplayer, the usage of over 120 vehicles and the return of the director mode players can expect much gameplay to go back to. Come August 30th driving enthusiasts will have much to look forward to on the PS3, Xbox 360, PC, Mac and Wii (the latter of which will be a completely separate game from the other ones).

Everybody loves donuts, especially those who love blowing shit up!

This week the Anvil rants on the week of sports -- including the MLB All-Star game and the Roger Clemens mistrial -- and King Baby Duck & Blueonic looks at the heavily-underrated Jim Carrey flick I Love You Phillip Morris and the recent price hikes at Netflix. Plus the Bastards are split in regards to the new Limp Bizkit album Gold Cobra, the demos for Catherine and Ms. 'Splosion Man are put under the microscope and Blueonic reviews the new Annihilation pack for Call of Duty: Black Ops.

The fun begins now on Episode 103: Annihilation By 'Splosion!

One of the biggest surprises at this past year's PAX East was the under-the-radar title Jimmie Johnson's Anything With An Engine, a kart racer whose style was like a blend of Mario Kart and Redneck Rampage. It was also my pick for Most Wanted Title during the Electric Sista Hood PAX East podcast episode, beating out the likes of Mortal Kombat, Duke Nukem Forever and Brink at the event. So it came as a wondrous shock that when I went to E3 I stumbled across this game at the Konami booth, who will be distributing the title in America.

Going hands-on with the title again I was excited to see all the new vehicles, tracks and modes that you could play, not to mention the arsenal of weapons you could use. Seeing that you can race with the dumpster, coffin, shopping cart and gold cart made me laugh, but after seeing the crazy college mascot riding a recliner I had to race as that. When racing with the recliner you were given the ability to throw pizzas at your opponent, which not only make them skid off-road but impair their vision with its gooey cheesiness. Controls were still on-key like they were on PAX East, and I even found fixing your vehicle at the Pit Stop to be fairly easier than I remembered.

One of the other modes in Anything With An Engine I finally got to give a try was the Matador one, which has racing going head-on against one another at opposite sides of the track. Here not only do you have to watch the other racers you're going against but also the ones that are pummeling towards you from the other side. I got smashed up big time when the tractor racer collided with my rocket man, losing the race by over a minute. Still it was an exciting twist to a genre that hasn't seen this much originality in a long time. Also on-hand was "Chicken Bomb," a survival mode that turns the last-place racer into a vengeful chicken that lays waste to the opponents. If there was ever a moment that truly left me in stitches at E3 it was seeing that fowl raise its explosive anarchy on the other racers.

The full game will have eight-player online multiplayer, as well as the classic split-screen mode for four players to battle it out with in the same room. You'll be able to race through thirteen tracks and unlock new racers through the title's Career Mode, with possibly new vehicles to be released via DLC. One other bit of news had me do a double-take: instead of it being an XBLA/PSN release Jimmie Johnson's Anything With An Engine will now be available as a physical title on all three current-gen consoles. A release date will be sometime late this summer/early fall, though an official date has yet to be announced.

We've all seen the trailer, and snippets of the game have been shown here and there. At E3's Square-Enix mega-booth I had the chance to go hands-on with one of this year's most hotly-anticipated titles: Dead Island. One problem: you could only play five minutes of the game.

With a very small time limit I was given the tasks of saving one of my fellow survivors outside the safe haven, then proceed to the first-aid area to gather supplies. Before saving the other survivor your character grabs an oar for weaponry, and then proceed to head outside to bear witness to all the carnage. The undead ranged from the sluggishly slow to the split-second fast, sometimes making it hard to properly prepare yourself for attacks. Quickly I had my character swing their oar around to battle it out with the zombies.

At first play I already noticed a slight aiming issue, where if you didn't swing on the exact center of the screen where the zombie was you might wind up missing it entirely. Fortunately when it came time to bolt from the creatures and evade their hunger attacks the controls flowed easier than expected. Punching the undead also gave off more damage to them than one may think, so it seems possible to kill the zombies just with your character's bare fists.

Both Techland and Deep Silver did an amazing job with the realistic elements in nail'd, so it comes as no surprise that the graphics in Dead Island look nothing short of stellar. The gore factors of Dead Island come by the bucket loads, with each smack you lay down on the zombies leaving pools of blood on the ground and sometimes all over the screen. Props must also be given to the audio quality of the game, with each thwack and splatter fitting into the proper action happening on-screen.

As the demo was only five minutes long my time with the game was very short. Judging by the A.I. I witnessed in this game I can honestly say that most of the tasks that will be given to you will be easier said than done. Dead Island aims to add a sort of realism unseen in the majority of zombie survival games, leaving players to think on their quickest instincts with only the tiniest moment to spare a thought process. While this will add a whole new level of challenging aspects to the genre I can already foresee some folks complaining about its difficulty level.

I was roughly 300 yards away from the first-aid site, so I couldn't even finish the mission. While five minutes doesn't sound like the most ideal amount of time to spend on a much-talked about title what I was able to get out of Dead Island was a good taste of its fast-paced gameplay and heart-stopping horror that will hopefully make this game stand out from all the others. The September release date is getting closer as we speak, so it will only be a matter of time before we see if Dead Island really can become king of the zombie gaming titles.

The Duke of the Nuke has returned with Duke Nukem Forever, tracking the good, the bad and the fugly with it. Were all those years of work worth the wait? Let's break it down into the proper three categories.

THE GOOD:

Duke Nukem Forever was true to its word about being able to play as old-school Duke Nukem. They brought back some of the classic guns, such as the very sexy Colt 1911, freeze ray, pump-action shotgun with fore grip, the Ripper machine gun, rail gun, rocket launcher, shrink ray, Devastator and few other guns. The folks at Gearbox Software redesigned a lot of the characters and graphics, and while they could've been a tad better still managed to keep the spirit of the original game and taking heed of the current-gen appearances. They left off this game where Duke Nukem 3D ended, which makes me very happy because that was one thing they really could of messed up on. The strip club is awesome, but the only issue I see is you never get back into the strip club as (spoiler alert!) it's a dreamscape sequence. The executions are pretty sick, where if you're able to shoot up the aliens to the point where they drop down to their knees you can give them a big uppercut, curb stomp, or -- if it's a pig -- you can basically tear his head off.

One of the best levels in the game is where you blow up the Hoover Dam. You travel through the landmark, taking on the monsters trying to shut off the power. You can't shut it down, so you get some serious explosives and have the underwater mission begin. Once you get through the explosions it has a great part where you get tossed out the exhaust port of the Hoover Dam while you watch the whole thing explode.

THE BAD:

I can see now why a lot of people are upset about Duke Nukem Forever. I'm still pissed that it took as many years for them to go through this process to make the freaking game! Someone had told me that there was supposed to be 25 hours of gameplay, but that was a lie seeing that the load times are wicked long!!! Next to that you are only able to carry two guns in the whole game. Come on, it's Duke Fucking Nukem! If he can bench press 600 pounds he can carry at least three guns. It's a pain in the ass sometimes running around killing the main aliens, and once you've spent all your bullets laying to waste aliens, you got to rock fists with steroids to kill the aliens faster.

Some of the levels have messed up on me, in which I had to reload the last checkpoints where it seemed to take FOREVER! The crane level where you take on the giant Octa-King was a pain, as you had to do a massive amount of button-mashing on parts where you knock down the bosses, run up to them, press the button to hop on top of them, then finally button-mash what ever button is on the screen. If you do it wrong the big asshole alien gets back up and knocks you down, having to restart the whole process again.

The worst level in Duke Nukem Forever was probably the starting point, where you're trying to get through the mansion after beating the mini-game in the start. When I had a friend over they got bored saying they want to kick ass and take names against the aliens. It seemed very dry considering how much time they had to make this game, and I think having the title switch hands back-and-forth between companies made the game what it is in some of its areas.

The online play is kind of spotty, as some of the people you end up playing with have crap for Internet connections. I ended up getting lucky with maybe a couple rounds of play, and then all of a sudden I got kicked off. It doesn't have a setup so you can play with the same level of people if you suck, so prepare to get your ass whipped if you don't know the levels or where the guns are. (I'm not saying I had a problem, as I kick ass and take names like always.) Then you have the set up where you battle online so you earn stuff for your place. That's where the babes come in, along with all the nice stuff. (Not sure I can comment more on what happens because I haven't gotten that far as of yet.)

THE FUGLY:

YOU'RE NOT ABLE TO SAVE THE BABES!!! Yes, you get to see the naked girls, but the issue is you can't save them after seeing them caught by the pregnator aliens. To add insult to injury you have kill the babes before they explode with the aliens.

THE BALLS OF STEEL EDITION:

The Balls of Steel edition gives you two poker chips (meh), dice (good), and a small deck of cards, which is disappointing as there should've been naked ladies from the game, damn it! It also comes with a statue bust of Duke, which could've been a hell of lot bigger. The post cards are all right, as was the Duke Nukem sticker, though I wish it was a magnet. The cool parts of the package were the comic book and the 100-page hardcover book The History, Legacy & Legend: Duke Nukem Forever Art from the Vault.

RATING:

I waited on for Duke Nukem Forever to come out for a long time, from back when I started playing the 1996 Duke Nukem 3D game. I even got the special pack where I was able to play the original Duke Nukem games. It was awesome to see them play some of the old game footage in the extras you opened once you beat the game. One of the big issues I had was that it seemed that they showed the old E3 videos which had a lot of the gameplay from back when Duke Nukem Forever was in the early stages. They seemed to have taken out a lot of the video game that 3D Realms had originally thought of putting into the game.

As a whole Duke Nukem Forever is -- at its best -- an 8.0 out of 10. This game is not for everyone. If you've got a lot of time to kill, it's going to take a lot of time to finish the game with how they designed it. For the most part it's around 6 to 10 hours of gameplay, depending on how many times you mess up and have to wait on the load time. I suggest either playing a friend's copy or rent the game before you buy it.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I feel that they should've taken this version of Duke Nukem Forever and put it on the back burner. I know it would've been an even longer wait, but I feel what they should have done is instead of just dropping the original Duke Nukem 3D game for you to play on Xbox Live Arcade they should've actually refurbished that title (which then would've looked like this Duke Nukem Forever game). This would've helped them figure out what they were doing wrong, and then they could've made Duke Nukem Forever what it was suppose to be. I have been hearing constantly about mess-ups between loading screens, along with actual in-game issues where people get stuck and have to restart from the last checkpoint. I hope that Duke Nukem Forever is a learning experience for everyone at Gearbox Software, and that they come back with an even better Duke Nukem game after this.

Game: Duke Nukem Forever
System: Xbox 360, PS3, PC
Rating: 8.0 (out of 10)
Official Website

At E3's SEGA booth the majority of the attention was placed on its beloved mascot Sonic The Hedgehog. Surrounding itself with the blue one's games, toys, comics and cartoons it was clear that SEGA was going to go all out to celebrate Sonic's 20th anniversary in the gaming world. This year will see Sonic's latest adventure heading to PS3, Xbox 360 and 3DS in the form of Sonic Generations, where players will be able to play as both the current-gen Sonic and the classic-looking hedgehog.

The game's actual plot has Sonic and his friends being sent back to the past to defeat the Time Eater, a creature that's creating holes in the time-space continuum. Showcasing Sonic's twenty-year run the title will feature levels from his Genesis days to the current console era. For these levels Sonic will have the choice to play in either old-school Classic mode (2D-styled) and the current Modern mode, with either Sonic sharing the appearance of each era. At E3 SEGA had it set so players could try both modes with the first part of the Green Zone.

There was a slight issue with the television I was using to play Sonic Generations, as the audio was off-synch by half a second. (The people running the booth explained that it was a connection error between the TV and PS3, but nevertheless it was still frustrating.) In Classic mode the original Sonic sped through the old-school level, collecting rings and popping off robots that stood in his way. Modern mode, on the other hand, had the current-looking hedgehog battling through the Green Zone, collecting more stuff and battling some of the more current-day robots that are in the recent Sonic titles. While it was far easier (and faster) to beat the Green Zone in Classic mode the Modern version had a fair amount more of goodies.

At the time I couldn't really tell the difference graphic-wise between the PS3 visuals in Sonic Generations and those found in last year's brilliant Sonic Colors in the Wii, and while that's not a bad thing per se I am curious to see how they up the ante in regards to the overall look of the worlds. More detail can be placed into the levels, but one may want to keep Sonic's cartoonish elements intact instead of trying to go down the realism route. One other issue I had with the demo I played (which is also still in existence in the demo people can download on PS3 and Xbox 360) is the jump lag. I found that you had to pre-prepare yourself for any of the on-coming leaps that were to appear on the road ahead, a task that's nearly impossible to accomplish in Classic mode. Still with the game's set release date of November 22nd there will be plenty of time for Sonic Team to fix this small problem.

Sonic has always been close to just about every gamer's hearts, so it should come as no surprise that SEGA is gearing for one giant celebration for the blue one's two-decade anniversary. Having new gamers that have never experienced the classic way of playing Sonic is a smart and efficient way to showcase the roots of our high-topped hero with a badass attitude. Sonic Generations seems to be a good step forward after the surprisingly surreal Sonic Colors, and with more levels to be announced soon (including the recently-revealed Casino Night Zone) it would appear that Sonic will end the year with one hell of a birthday party.

Since getting first-wind of it in mid-2010 I have been excited about Catherine. Combining puzzle elements with some dating-sim decisions the game has become something of a morality tester for those who have been playing it over in Japan. Earlier this year my heart broke when Atlus said it wouldn't be bringing it to America, though it seemed that they were merely playing with my emotions as a release date had been announced for Summer 2011 (July 26, specifically). At E3 this year I got heart-on with Catherine, and discovered the dangers of being a man in lust.

Speaking with Michael Meeker, the Assistant QA Manager & Editor at Atlus, the game is at-heart a full-on puzzler, but according to Meeker its true core is in its atmosphere, filled with horror and mature eroticism.

"When you say 'adult' people will just think blood, guts and boobs everywhere," said Meeker, "but it's more about coming to terms with who you are, which is a very mature question for someone as they grow up." In regards to the moral questions asked throughout the game Meeker claims the reasons for their existence is far more deeper than one may think. "It's not so much good versus evil, but rather law versus chaos. Law generally sticks with the girl you currently have, whereas chaos has you doing your own thing."

At the Atlus booth the full game was being showcased, but due to high demand you were only given the chance to play a couple levels. To get myself more familiar with the game I had chosen to do the tutorial levels and one of the first boss battles. In the game your character Vincent start out in the Stray Sheep bar, where you are contemplating either marriage with Katherine or ditching her for Catherine, the new woman in the protagonist's life. You send text messages to various people, talk with other bar patrons and have secret dates with Catherine.

When you go home to sleep you enter the Nightmare world, where everyone is a sheep. (Even Vincent is sporting ram horns.) In this world the puzzle elements of the game are awaken, as you must climb to the top of the level by pushing, pulling or ridding the boxes in your path that will help to reach the summit quicker. Time is not on your side, however, as the boxes disappear below you, and if you don't reach the top in time you will plummet to your death and have to start over again. There are checkpoints, though, so you might not have to start all the way at the beginning. Players can also collect power-ups such as extra boxes and pillows (representing extra lives), and if you play in Easy mode you'll have the option to go back a step if you mess up moving the boxes.

Once you reach the top of the summit Vincent will find himself surround by other sheep, who'll claim they're humans and that he himself is a sheep. At this section you have the option to save your progress and converse with the other sheep, but in order to leave to the next level you must enter the confessional booth and answer a morality question. How you answer will determine the difficulty of the gameplay, and the questions are tricky. For example I was asked if I preferred older women or younger women, and because the question wasn't specific (i.e.: three years older or three years younger) I had no idea that choosing the latter would make my difficulty spike up a bit when I picked it. Catherine doesn't just play with your fingers and brain, but it also likes to mess around with your moral conscience.

The boss battle I faced had two protruding hands holding a fork chasing me up the tower, and when it struck the boxes it made them more heavier to pull and push around to climb up further. The amount of time I had to reach the end of the level was probably sliced in half during the boss level, as the hands would violently swipe away the boxes and try to stab Vincent with the fork to kill him. Once you beat the boss level you'll wake up in your bed, and start the day anew with more decisions to make that will either help or hinder your gameplay experience.

So far Catherine is exceeding my expectations. The gameplay is very fast-paced, as the title wants you to think quickly in order to make the right choices to survive. Moving around the levels is also a cinch, with Vincent able to climb, jump off and even hang off the boxes in order to maneuver through the level. Be warned that the control might be a tad too sensitive, as one wrong flick and you'll find yourself falling to your death. The anime look is also spot-on, and the FMV sequences by the folks at Studio 4°C (who have animated such titles as Mind Game and Detroit Metal City) are gorgeous. Some may be turned off by the game's appearance, sadly; a shame as they could be missing out on one of the best titles of the year.

Although the game is filled to the brim with Japanese culture Meeker says that there has been no problem promoting the game outside the Land of the Rising Sun. In fact because people already knew of the game's existence the word on Catherine is spreading.

"Introducing new people to it I think the sheer weirdness quotient really outweighs the Japanese stuff in it," admits Meeker, as the game is filled with strange characters, sheep and quirky conundrums.

With its complicated storyline and moral-testing puzzles Catherine is looking to be one of the most unique games of the decade, and with it sporting both over twenty hours of gameplay and multiple endings gamers will have many reasons to come back and play again. Come July 26 those that throw caution to the wind and play the game with their true self will find themselves screaming at the TV as their anti-hero Vincent constantly dies in front of them. Find out next month when Catherine hits stateside if love really is over, and decide whether or not you prefer to stay with Katherine or leave her for Catherine. For those wondering about Michael Meeker's preference, he said he'd rather stay with Katherine.

"She's got that maturity that I like more," Meeker said, adding with a chuckle, "I can't stand Catherine's drill hair."

Check out a second opinion of Catherine at E3 from Pandalicious on the Electric Sista Hood page!

Bruins, Bruins, Bruins!!!

The Stanley Cup is ours, and Vancouver doesn't take it so well. Hear King Baby Duck and Anvil's take on the celebratory parade, as well as the rest of the weekly sports report from him and Mr. Cuse. King Baby Duck shares why Kung Fu Panda 2 is a worthy sequel, and Mr. Cuse give his take on Super 8. Anvil also looks at the films Sniper: Reloaded and No Strings Attached. King Baby Duck and Anvil review the demos for Eat Them! and MotorStorm: Apocalypse, and Blueonic hails to the original king with his first-thoughts on Duke Nukem Forever!

Sing along with the King & Anvil in the beginning! It's Episode 99: In Thomas We Trust!

Still groggy from LA the King returns with Anvil and Mr. Cuse by his side.

This week King Baby Duck reveals his top ten picks from this year's E3 Expo, and Anvil shares his thoughts on the debut performance from Contemporarily Out of Order. The trio look at the film The Hangover Part Two, Mr. Cuse reviews Water For Elephants and Midnight In Paris and Anvil & KBD give their reasons why X-Men: First Class might be the best prequel ever made. Plus Anvil quickly looks at Just Go With It and River of Darkness, and throws a plug in for the folks at Cage Titans Fighting Championship.

It's all packaged here in Episode 98: The E3 Hangover.

The first game I went hands-on with at the official start of E3 was PAYDAY: The Heist, a PSN and PC title from Overkill Software that lets players attempt bank robberies, take hostages, blow up vaults and escape from the fuzz before they either kill or arrest you. I wasn't expecting anything too extraordinary when I first grabbed the controller, but after the 30-minute demo I was just about sold on this title.

In the demo I first had to enter the bank and decide when to start the robbery. I was told to steer clear of any of the armed guards, as it would create suspicion the closer I walked near them. Once I got to the bank manager I was told to put my mask on and get the robbery underway. From there I had to tie up the bank manager, take down the guards and proceed to set up the drill to open up the gated area where the vault was kept. During that time myself and my henchmen (which I can control using the shout button to throw commands) had to take down any of the police forces that were trying to take them down and prevent the heist from being accomplished. In one occurrence one of my henchmen was taken by the police, so I had to release one of my hostages in order to regain my compadre.

After I opened the gate I then had to find the entrance to the office where the vault was under. With cops, SWAT and other forms of armed forces coming at all directions it was easier said than done. As I couldn't kill any of the innocents (as that will make the difficulty level spike and cause some lossage of points) it wasn't as if I could go silly-nilly with my bullets. Careful aim and precise weapon usage is the key to doing well with the game, and thankfully the control scheme is well-suited to doing just that. Once there was enough of a clearing I was able to enter the office and melt the floor, creating an opening to enter the vault and start stashing the cash.

After the cash was stored in the duffel bags I had to escape as quickly as possible before I was taken out by the armed forces. The difficulty level skyrocketed once I pocketed the cash, as the cops were coming from every direction, even the roof. Once my team was able to take down the police I had to set an explosive charge, blow a hole through the wall and escape through a neighboring building and shoot a couple more cops before making my escape in a garbage truck.

The demo itself was solid from start-to-finish, thanks in part to a fine control scheme, solid graphics and challenging gameplay. If this is what we can expect from the full game then players will have no trouble forking over the PSN cash to have an experience in vein of such classic heist flicks as Inside Man, Point Break and the opening scene from The Dark Knight. PAYDAY: The Heist will sport six main levels, co-op modes and endless replay values, as no two level experiences will be the same. More levels will be released via DLC, as well as new equipment and weapons that can be used in your missions. Though no official release date has been announced it can be speculated that it will be out sometime in the second half of 2011.

It’s been a long time coming, but Twisted Metal is back, and this time it’s as nasty and raw as it wants to be.

At the Sony booth at E3 I managed to get in an early line to try out the online multiplayer  mode in Twisted Metal, with a set up that was similar to capture the flag. In it your team had to destroy the statues of your opponents before the time ran out, and then proceed to protect your statues in the second round. The team with the highest score in the end wins. While it sounds like your run-of-the-mill battle mode, it’s far from it in the world of Twisted Metal.

Players were able choose from a massive foray of vehicles, ranging from Sweet Tooth’s ice cream truck to a helicopter. For this demo I chose what I believed was called the Meat Grinder, but it was basically a run-down version of the Ghostbusters vehicle. Each of these vehicles came with their own special tricked-out weapons. Mine came with a crazed man strapped on a rocket-powered wheelchair. Once everyone’s vehicles had been chosen, the chaos began.

From there everyone started driving around destroying everything around them, hitting every pedestrian they could see and blowing up their opponents. All the gamers around me were laughing maniacally as they were spreading mass carnage around the city. The excitement from them was indescribable, as they were having what seemed like the time of their lives. Nostalgic vibes came off Twisted Metal, as I have been a huge fan of the series since it began back in the 90s.

Everything we loved about the title was right here, only bigger, badder and looking realistic. The graphics in Twisted Metal were outstanding, as every smash, crash and boom was captured in all of its glory. Its gameplay is as insane as ever, and its core structure was at the peak of its upmost greatness. The controls took a bit to figure out, and I didn’t know how to reverse my vehicle, but once I was thrown into the game I just went gun-crazy and tried to blow up everything that moved. (Granted I wound up killing some of my teammates, but I was in the moment!)

In the end my team wound up winning 4-2, and I managed to get a fair amount of kills to earn a few extra points. The overall feeling with every gamer in that booth was mutual: from what we saw in this demo Twisted Metal is going to be everything we could want in this title. When it finally hits the PS3 on October 4th you can bet highly that gamers new and old will be battling away on what might be one of the best games of 2011.

The first Portal title garnered a massive following around the world, thanks in part to its interesting gameplay, dialogue that instantly became internet memes, a catchy end theme song and possibly one the greatest villains in video gaming history. It comes as no surprise that a sequel was green-lit, but the task at hand for Valve was to up the ante in just about every way in order to make it as memorable as the first game. Does Portal 2 succeed as well as its big brother, or does it fall flat on the face of failure?

Continuing on from the first Portal title, the sequel begins with Chelle in a room many years after the events of the first game. She is awaken by Wheatley, a circular robot who leads her through the ruins of Aperture Science, leading up to the lifeless body of GLaDOS. Unfortunately due to the lack of true intelligence it has Wheatley revives the psychotic AI, and forces Chelle into doing more tests "for science." From there you will be brought into the familiar territory of the first title and given the chance to solve more difficult puzzles while GLaDOS inexpressively taunts you. Soon Wheatley helps you escape, and after passing through the manufacturing areas you confront GLaDOS and have her personality switched with Wheatley. And that's when the real trouble begins...

Throughout the main game you will be brought up to speed as to what happened before the events of the first game. You'll hear the voice of Aperture Science founder Cave Johnson (voiced by J.K. Simmons) as he welcomes new recruits to its manufacturer, along with his secretary Caroline, a woman who has a major connection with GLaDOS. You will also be able to try out newer Aperture Science products that will help Chelle go faster, jump higher and shoot more portal holes into the walls, tools that will help you in the long run. Plus you will find out the real truth behind how and why GLaDOS is, well, GLaDOS, and what the real purpose of your new "friend" Wheatley is.

For the first time in many years I cannot complain one bit about the gameplay in a single-player mode. The story moves fluidly, and not once did I feel any sort of repetition in Portal 2. Because of it being lengthier than the first title the folks at Valve were able to expand the better ideas of Portal and make them better. The puzzles may be more complex and challenging, and you might need a lot of time to ponder to figure out their solutions, but in the long run it lacks any sort of angry frustration that one may receive while playing other first-person titles. The same cannot be said, however, for its co-op mode.

Along with its single-player mode Valve added a special co-op storyline for friends and online players to solve together. You and a friend play as Atlas and P-Body, two robots built by GLaDOS specifically to try out her tests and do everything they can to succeed. In the first four campaigns the two robots must complete puzzles in order to reach a disk that unlocks something crucial. After the completion of these four campaigns you discover that the two robots need to find what is called "the Vault," a place where humans are kept in a cryogenically-frozen state.

Because of the two-player style the puzzles are a lot more difficult, the concept of teamwork is strongly recommended. Both robots are given portal guns, so you can use those to your advantage. You can also use the new tools you discovered in the single-player campaign, which will be helpful in places with giant gaps in-between. However the co-op mode is a campaign that will test one's friendship to the bitter end, with the wrong move possibly leading towards demise and a massive screaming match with the other player on your team. It's as if they saved all the frustrations they were going to put into the single-player mode and implanted it into the co-op campaign.

One key element that makes the single-player mode lacking in frustration is its control scheme. Its continue usage of straightforward moving, jumping, ducking, shooting and grabbing makes Portal 2 a title that can be played by just about everyone. It's the sort of simplicity that you don't see often in first-person titles, and it's probably one of the big reasons why it was picked up by many.

The biggest reason the first one succeeded was its terrific script and voice acting, and in Portal 2 the storyline and dialogue are just as sharp and witty. Not a single joke from the first game is repeated, thankfully avoiding any sort of dead horse beatings. Its dark humor and one-liners are just as funny as the ones featured in the first Portal title, maybe even funnier. (Cave Johnson's lines later in the game will have you rolling on the floor laughing, none of which I want to spoil here.) Ellen McLain's GLaDOS is just as dark and hilarious as ever, and giving Ricky Gervais's friend Stephen Merchant the task at voicing Wheatley added a tad bit of good British humor to the game. While Simmons seems to still be channeling his Spider-Man character here his Cave Johnson is still a welcoming addition to the Portal world.

Only one thing about the game keeps it from being an all-around masterpiece: its replay value. While it might take you a good ten hours to beat the single-player mode (depending on how good your puzzle-solving skills are) and the co-op campaign will tack up another eight hours there isn't much more to go back to playing after you've defeated it. You can revisit each parts of the levels, but it's not like there are special bonuses if you beat a test under a certain amount of time. All you can really do is beat the game, and then wait for more maps and content to be released as DLC.

PROS:

• Great level designs, trickier, clever puzzles
• Strong script, hilarious dialogue
• Solid co-op mode, online and offline

CONS:

• Lack of real replay value
• Co-op mode might make you lose more friends than gain

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Portal 2 is the sequel no one ever expected to be great, only to blow away its predecessor by a major margin. Everything you liked about the first game is back, only bigger and better. It's the rare sort of sequel we see these days in the gaming world, one that delivers more than anyone believed it could promise on a higher level. In laymen's terms: Portal 2 will satisfy just about all of your good sequel cravings in more ways than one.

FINAL GRADE: 9.8 (out of ten)

At this year's PAX East I was able to get my hands on a demo for Swarm, the new title from Hothead Games (who brought us the hilarious DeathSpank series). From what I played in that five-minute demo I got lots of silly gore, cute little creatures and a good amount of RTS-styled gameplay. Playing the full version of Swarm I found the exact same thing over and over again. In this case that's not a bad thing.

Swarm features twelve levels (ten regular, two boss battles) of side-scrolling real-time strategy in the same vein as both Lemmings and Overlord, only with strange blue naked creatures and tons of bluish blood filling the levels. Throughout the game you must collect orbs and DNA strands using the Swarmites in order to unlock levels and get access to the bosses. By performing tasks such as speed runs and stacking players will be able to raise their score and add to the multiplier bonus. Of course with great tasks and battles comes massive sacrifice, and this is where the real fun begins in the game.

Throughout the game you must sacrifice some of your Swarmites to gain points, orbs and massive bonuses. Players will be called upon in Swarm to blast, set afire, decapitate, penetrate, slice, dice, make julienne fries, blow up and other nasty fun stuff that will keep those little bastards dying in very silly manners. However if you lose all of your Swarmites you will be sent back to the most recent checkpoint, thereby losing all of the points you had earned before then. Fortunately there are "nests" of Swarmites in various parts of each level that will bring you back all (or at least some) of your army. This comes in handy when it's time to gather your Swarmites on the numbered buttons, where you need a certain number of Swarmites to open up bonus goodies.

Controlling the game has its pros and cons, with the pros being that it's fairly easy to gather your Swarmites and attack your foes and inanimate objects for points and orbs. Jumping has its moments, though I couldn't help but notice a split-second lag between the button-pressing and the action taking place (with the end result sometimes involving all of my little buggers dying in a fiery death). Then again this game is all about strategy, and timing is one of the key elements to a good plan of action. One of the hardest things I've found to do in this game is make a Swarmite Stack to grab hold of higher objects or knock down explosive boxes. I once spent four minutes trying to grab hold of one of the DNA strands high above the rafters, only to have my Swarmites plummet to their untimely (but still funny) death. It irked me every time I had to face a scenario like this, though not enough to make me put down the controller. Having a very good how-to guide in the game to access anytime was also a plus, as there's a lot you can do and very little time to remember it all.

While the gameplay is similar throughout the levels, how one must tackle them is not. Sometimes you'll have to use the power of speed to earn a high score, whereas other levels will have you just destroying things and killing off more Swarmites to gain more points. As always the levels get tougher as they progress, but the one level that ticked me off the most in regards to difficulty was the third one (better known as Bash Derby). I shit you not: it took me two weeks to beat that level, as I needed to use speed, agility and force to earn the necessary amount of points needed, all while at the same time keep my multiplier growing as the level progressed and at least one of my Swarmites alive for the majority of the level. There was a moment where I had gathered roughly 300,000 points, but because I lost all my Swarmites I was pushed back to the checkpoint and was down to 32,000 points again. Believe me when I say that Level Three will have you pulling your hair out. I won't say much about the two boss levels, other than that they'll require every strategic jump and bonk to defeat them. They'll be tough to beat, but it won't leave you feeling frustrated.

Swarm may contain only twelve levels, but the time you spend in them will be quite lengthy. You will find it difficult to beat each level in one run, and it's finding the right tactics that make Swarm a long, tough game to beat. If you manage to beat the game, however, you can always return to the levels and kill your Swarmites to earn some cool-looking Death Medals that you can show off to your friends. Those looking for any sort of multiplayer aspect, however, need look elsewhere.

PROS:

• Many deaths equal many laughs
• An excellent amount of strategy gaming
• Great cartoonish graphics

CONS:

• Bash Derby!!!
• Making a Swarmite Stack is easier said than done
• Lack of any sort of multiplayer support

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Swarm is one hell of a guilty pleasure game. You might find yourself just offing as many of these little freaks as possible to earn those Medals, and that just makes up half of the fun. (The Y-button shenanigans that happen in the Main Menu will help players waste loads of time.) The other half you'll find within the strategic elements of the game, along with the in-your-face goofiness that bring out much heavy replay value in this title. Cross your fingers that a sequel will happen (or at the very least some DLC levels), as the world of Swarm is worth revisiting over and over again.

FINAL GRADE: 8.7 (out of 10)

The Bastards say "Good riddance to bad Ramirez!" in an all-new episode.

This week the B3 crew discuss why they tend to avoid certain movies for obviously good reasons, and why they go too far in some cases. Anvil and Mr. Cuse say adios to the crybaby known as Mannie Ramirez, Mr. Cuse reports on the PGA Masters, Anvil gives his NFL Draft Picks and much more in the sports segment. Then the guys give their thoughts on UFC Personal Trainer, the new Twisted Metal and Sonic Generations, and King Baby Duck and Blueonic review the demos for Red Faction: Battlegrounds and The Dishwasher: Vampire Smile. Finally Mr. Cuse takes a look at the artist Eric Hutchinson and the others give their opinion of the new album from m-flo/Teriyaki Boyz member VERBAL.

It all happens here on Episode 91: Three Men & A King Baby Duck!

Codemasters is once again bringing on the Dirt. These guys are always on top when it comes to racing games, especially with the fact that they have brought us nothing but the most sexiest of graphics, along with the most badass racing styles to the table. After what I've seen so far in the third installment I cannot wait to get my hands on it!

It's scary how realistic the graphics are in Dirt 3. If you're confused, you might have to watch the video a couple times to realize that it's actual game footage. Codemasters have done such a great job with the graphics, and they keep upping the ante each time in the Dirt series. Believe me: I have to refrain from telling specific companies to take a look at what Codemasters have done, especially in the gaming aspect of how it feels to race the car between controller and keyboard alike. With the feeling of going from driving my truck to sitting down on my couch with either racing wheel/controller in hand the feel is just absolutely awesome. I'm all about the getting in adrenaline rush, and Codemasters have provided that in their racing games.  The other great thing about playing the Dirt series is the reality they put in the views of racing, with the set up of the usual behind-the-vehicle angle, along with the view from the front seat, giving it a feel like you're actually in the car.

My words can only do so much justice, so you'll really have to go out and get the first two Dirt games to experience the reality it showcases, then wait patiently until the end of May to play the third one. If you get the chance to stop by your local gaming store it wouldn't be a bad idea to slap down a couple bucks on this beautiful game known as Dirt 3 that will be coming out May 24th, 2011!

If you got the $240 put it down for the sweet little Ken Block Gymkhana RC Car Bundle!

Dirt 3
Developer: Codemasters
Console: PC, PS3, Xbox 360
Release Date: May 24th, 2011

Dirt 3 Official Site
Dirt 3 Youtube

P.S.: To Codemasters, if you can, bring back Grid!

Be on the lookout for any horrible musicians who slur their lyrics! They might get undeserved critical praise.

This week the Bastards give an Oh For Fuck's Sake! to a certain recording artist that is gaining some good press despite his God awful singing. King Baby Duck reviews the English dub for Black Butler, followed by Anvil's weekly sports report. The bands This Will Destroy You and (a returning) Widow Sunday are on the table, and Blueonic follows up on his review of Homefront. Finally the demos for WWE All-Stars and Swarm are examined. We can't forget to mention that our favorite cat girl returns to the table.

It happens right here on Episode 89: Mmm...Korean Barbecue!!!

Damn right home is where the war is. I got my hands on Homefront, and I have to say that it's got some awesome gameplay!

Got your attention now? If not, have you checked to make sure you still have a pulse? You might want to do that, or consult your physician.

The idea of this game is the future "what-if" style games. Like many of the games that I own this title is one that deals with an economy similar to the one that we are experiencing now and tries to depict what might happen in the next 10 to 20 years. As another example of this type of game, let's look at another title from my collection: Frontlines: Fuel of War. I always thought Frontlines was an awesome game that just never "took off" or had mainstream commercial success in the way I thought it could or would have if I'm honest. The set up of the game is fairly simple: the fuel supply has gotten deadly low and Russia and China form an alliance to get the rest of the oil in the Middle East. In Frontlines you see the war up close and personal.

In Homefront it's as if America failed at everything they ever tried and a little-old-North Korea was able to turn into some kind of superpower, gain control over South Korea and some how take over Japan. While this is happening, America doesn't have the resources (and what not) to take on the country because America basically runs on Oil. Ultimately, the battle gets to the point where the Koreans have occupied America after pulling a fast one on the world (satellite of peace, my ass!) and the fight is on.

When this part happened in the game, my jaw dropped. White Phosphorous Mortar  B.B.Q.!!!

The writers of Red Dawn, and Apocalypse Now now bring you another kick ass story. I shouldn't have expected anything less. I notice more and more new game titles now are coming from novel or feature film screenwriters - writers who can easily bring to life a world that really only exists in their minds in such a vivid way that it seems kindergarten simple for a game designer to bring to the world through nothing more than pixels and light (dots on the screen) but present a world for the player to experience and see the realities of war without enlisting. Sure, life isn't about running around just shooting each other... but that's what multiplayer is for.

I highly suggest to anyone jumping on this title that it's smarter to play through the story mode of the game first - learning the control setup and getting comfortable with character movements instead of just barreling straight into the multiplayer and potentially messing up for your kill/death ratio score.

Gameplay

For a game that was designed and assembled from scratch, the gameplay is relatively smooth. There are a few rough edges, but they could be smoothed out, and I'm specifically thinking about the fluidity of character movement in the game. Imagine you are leisurely walking though a patch of enemy AI, the character movements seem rough and ridged and generally off to me. (How do you leisurely walk standing up straight and tall and stiff as a board?) I'm sorry, but I don't think a person who has been through the hell that is war and survived would return home afterwards and walk around like that.

Along with the walking, the running was kind of a joke. When running it seems like characters weren't moving fast enough, so the player loses the capabilities of effective "duck and cover" mechanics. The guns are great, but there just aren't enough of them. The game has 12 guns available with multiple set ups of red dot/scope systems you can put on the gun.

That's just a beautiful thing...wait a second, that's the Korean enemy! Run away!!!

The story it self starts you off sleeping in a crappy apartment, everything looks like it's been chewed up and spit out at least 10 times. Upon waking up you hear the radio and it's feeding you Korean propaganda, which kinda interesting to listen to actually. (Like the radio stations in Grand Theft Auto) Then there is knock at the door, someone asking for your characters name, and before you can open the door the K.P.A. (Korean Peoples Army) is already through it and beating you up. They interrogate you and tossing your ass down the stairs, toss that same ass onto a bus and we're off to the labor camps. Amazingly enough on the way to your laborious final destination, a Mack Truck from "The Revolution" comes smashing into the scene to rescue you.

The first level is pretty intense. Lots of running, and lots of shooting. Later on in the story you get to use the Unmanned Land Vehicle named Goliath! All I can say is once that that thing ends up being issued for real modern combat, I'm so joining the military. This U.L.V is what will save your ass when out fighting against the K.P.A. It comes with a special little scope, so when ever a tank/Humvee/helicopter/soldier comes up to attack it all you have to do is sight it on the scope and then "Bang! Boom!" your problems are all gone.

OH HELL YEA!! That's Goliath!!!

The only thing that makes me sad about Homefront is that the game play was very short. Playing on Normal difficulty, I was able to beat it in about 3 1/2 to 4 hours, but the awesome battle at the end on the Golden Gate Bridge was pretty epic and redeeming. I did feel like they (the developers) could of gone a bit further -- maybe allowing the player to push the Koreans all the way back into the Pacific Ocean -- but they stopped progress shortly after beating back the K.P.A. over the Golden Gate Bridge. I was kind of in that place of, "WTF?! Another game I spent the usual 60 bucks on short shifted me again and only gave me three hours of play?" However, a friend of mind made a great point that more and more developers are putting less effort into the actual story mode of action and FPS games to better focus their attention to the multiplayer piece, hanging their hopes on multiplayer to be the ultimate experience for the player to enjoy.

They did a lot of product placement! I mean, come on! Lumber Liquidators, Tiger Direct, Rain X!

In conclusion the gameplay is good, but it's not great. You have seven levels in the game: Why We Fight, Freedom, Fire Sale, The Wall, Heartland, Overwatch, and Golden Gate. It has a few rough edges which I hope KAOS Studios and THQ are able to patch up with an add-on or two.

So for the story mode I give it a 9.2 out of 10.

Goddamn product placement again! I'm really sorry folks!

Multiplayer

The Multiplayer is really good...when you can actually play online.

I was told this when I bought Homefront, that there had been some issues with the game servers, yet it says on the website that they are working around the clock to weed out all known issues. So I say within the next week or two things on the online aspect will be better. I do have to say that if you are buying a used copy of this game, and the code that comes with it has been used for that person multiplayer, get ready to shell out a couple bucks in order to play on the server.

Perfect harmony: an A.P.C., a soldier running towards the battle and a helicopter kicking ass!

The multiplayer has 6 different versions of basically the same gameplay type: Ground Control, Team Deathmatch, Skirmish, Battle Comander (GC), Battle Commander (TDM) and BC Skirmish. If you're not confused yet, they have it set up as you might expect in your typical FPS games (think classic domination map with a twist.) They take the setup of three points you have to capture in order to move on to the next three points, almost like in Frontlines: Fuel of War. Team Death Match: If you don't know what that is, and you have been playing Call of Duty or something along those lines for too long, you need a dunce cap. Go sit in the corner, enough said. Skirmish: Takes the Team Death Match/Ground Control modes and switches between the two on the cycles of the maps so your not bored playing the same thing repeatedly. Now for the little bit of the difference from most of these modern/futuristic combat styles they created something called Battle Commander: You are able to hunt after certain enemies who have killed more (think kill streaks). It's a very interesting mechanic to toss on top of either the Ground Control or the Team Death Match modes.

Homefront's online play is pretty fair considering all the problems they are having with the servers, but I warn you again if you think your going to walk on to the field of battle on this game whooping ass with out playing through the actual story mode of the game, think again. You will get turned inside out by every enemy on the field before you can blink an eye. You'll be like the guy in the picture above that got turned into B.B.Q from white Phosphorous Mortar shell.

For the Multiplayer (all problems aside) I give the online a 9.6, although THQ does need to step up some more of the different games on the play list.

Homefront
Console/Platform: PC (Steam), PS3, Xbox 360
Company: THQ, Kaos Studios
Gameplay Style: First-Person Shooter
Gameplay Rating: 9.2 out of 10
Multiplayer Rating: 9.6 out of 10
Final Rating: 9.4 out of 10

HomeFront Official Site

HomeFront Youtube Channel

Here are some more of the videos for Homefront!

Those wanting to get their hands on Duke Nukem Forever on May 3rd will have to wait another month.

In a video with Gearbox Software President Randy Pitchford it was announced (humorously) that Duke Nukem Forever has been moved to a June 14 US release date, with a worldwide release on June 10. Why it's coming out last in America is anyone's guess.

Here's hoping the delay will mean they'll fix the driving aspect of the game.

UPDATE: 2K Games and Gearbox Software have issued a press release regarding the manner:

Duke Never Comes Early - 2K Games Announces Shortest Delay in the History of Duke Nukem Forever®

After 15 years (and six short weeks) the King is almost back!

New York, NY – March 24, 2011 – 2K Games and Gearbox Software announced today that Duke Nukem’s glorious comeback in Duke Nukem Forever® will now explode at retail on June 10, 2011 internationally and June 14, 2011 in North America on the Xbox 360® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft, PlayStation®3 computer entertainment system and Windows PC. With gamers jumping out of their seats and waiting in line for hours to play the game at PAX East, it appears that the fans have spoken - Duke Nukem Forever is worth the wait.

“In case you haven’t heard, Duke never comes early,” said Christoph Hartmann, president of 2K. “We’re committed to deliver a laugh-out-loud, politically incorrect experience that people will talk about for years to come. We thank Duke’s fans for their continued patience - I promise this won’t take another 15 years.”

The incredibly unapologetic Duke Nukem Forever is the video game realization of the ultimate Hollywood summer blockbuster on steroids. Starring the iconic and legendary titular character, Duke Nukem Forever promises to reinvent the key ingredients necessary to create a summer smash hit that’s boiling over-the-top with irreverent humor, catchy one-liners that will make your mama blush, and frantic, bone-shaking action sequences that will simultaneously rock your world and neighbors’ walls.

“I'm very sorry for the added delay. We've all been working extremely hard and are very eager to deliver the game to you," added Pitchford. “I’ve been thinking of these lyrics from the great country song, ‘He's The Duke’ - ‘He told us if we waited we could Come Get Some, but I never knew Forever was going to be so long.'  If you're like me, June cannot come quickly enough."

In the interim, Duke Nukem Forever fans can pay their respects to the King by visiting the official Duke Nukem Forever website - www.dukenukemforever.com. It’s loud, lewd and definitely Duke approved. The site provides fans with stimulating content that will ease their eagerness, including Duke’s Boobtube channel and The Duke Cave, featuring babe and alien surveillance. Fans can also “come get some” by pre-ordering the game, along with the Balls of Steel edition, while supplies last.

Duke Nukem Forever will be available internationally on June 10, 2011 and in North America on June 14, 2011. For more information on Duke Nukem Forever, including where to pre-order a copy, please visitwww.dukenukemforever.com. Duke Nukem Forever is rated M for Mature by the ESRB.

2K Games is a division of 2K, a publishing label of Take-Two Interactive Software, Inc. (NASDAQ: TTWO).

The gaming world of Spider-Man has had its ups and downs, and to be blunt it's always been more on the downslope side of things. In fact the last great Spider-Man video game I can remember was the (albeit) short one that came out for PlayStation, N64 and PC back in 2000, though this can be up for debate. Last year, however, the folks at Marvel and Activision decided to take the game to a far greater level, giving players not just the chance to play as America's favorite web-slinger but also three other versions of him. Unfortunately while spending so much time prepping the worlds of Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions they forgot to fix some issues that keep the game from being as great as it should've been.

The premise of Shattered Dimensions begins with Spider-Man battling it out with Mysterio, who is trying to steal an artifact known as the "Tablet of Order and Chaos." After accidentally breaking the tablet, the pieces of the artifact are cast out into four different worlds of Spider-Man: Amazing, Ultimate, Spider-Man 2099 and Noir. Throughout these worlds the four different Spider-Men have to battle it out with familiar foes to collect the tablet pieces, though with the powers each piece gives the villain the task is easier said than done. Can Spider-Man and his alternate universe pals collect the pieces before Mysterio discovers its true power, or will the world finally fall under the dark cloud of evil? (Knowing your Spider-Man trivia the answer's kinda obvious.)

In each world you play in Spider-Man is given similar web-slinging maneuvers, ranging from the usual punch 'n' kicks to swinging your opponents around using your web. However within the worlds come special attacks that none of the other Spideys have. Case in point Ultimate Spider-Man has the ability to use Rage, which will make defeating opponents easier and will take less life points away if attacked in this mode. Also unique is how you have to defeat your opponents, which showcases these special tactics well in the Noir levels. In there you have to be sure not to be in the sight of the villains, as well as stay out of the spotlight if you want to take them down; otherwise you'll be shot up and probably killed, starting the level again at the checkpoint.

Also unique to each world is its art style. While the FMV contains the same realistic look (and they do look phenomenal), the universes themselves have a different look to them. The Amazing world has a Saturday morning cartoon sort of flavor to it, whereas the Noir levels were more Sin City-based with the occasional color here and there when Spider-Man is being tracked by the villains. The best-looking of the worlds, however, has to go to Spider-Man 2099, with its bright futuristic look and overall appearance. Every building and vehicle seems to want to jump out at you while you're in a tussle with villains and henchmen alike.

Props also must be given to the voice actors, and having Neil Patrick Harris return to voice the Amazing Spider-Man was the perfect choice, as his Spider-Man in the MTV series was sincerely the best. I do have an irk about using the original Spider-Man voice Dan Gilvezan to don the vocals for Spider-Man 2099. While I do understand the nostalgic aspect of having the guy who voiced the web-slinger in the cartoon from the 1980s do his voice it makes the 2099 Spidey sound a lot older than he should be. Maybe I'm just being picky, but to me this Spider-Man doesn't sound quite right. Having Christopher Barnes (who played the Spider-Man in the FOX Kids cartoon when I was growing up) come back to portray the Noir version is also a plus, as he brings a bit of much-needed humor into the Noir's dark world. Josh Keaton's Ultimate Spider-Man has its moments, though for the most part he sounds a bit too much like a Harris clone; in fact I didn't even know someone else was voicing Ultimate until I did my research.

In regards to the villains in Shattered Dimensions they're a mixed bag. I got bored quickly with fighting Kraven the Hunter in the Amazing universe, along with his henchmen, and I grew weary of having to chase Vulture in the 2099 universe. On the other hand I couldn't get enough of the Deadpool level in the Ultimate universe, as the concept of giving the mad hero/villain his own reality show was beyond hilarious. Granted finding the cameras to destroy was easier said than done, but having the commentary by Marvel's favorite loony in tights eased the difficulty a whole lot better. In fact I can't help but say that the Ultimate villains were the most fun dealing with, whereas the 2099 world ones were the most difficult; but on the whole the choice villains were hit-and-miss.

The weakest aspect of Shattered Dimensions is its control scheme, and while there are plenty of maneuvers to do there isn't enough time given to you to complete them before you get smacked around. Swinging from your web also has its share of issues, none bigger than the camera angles. Like motion pictures it takes the right angle to make a remarkable scene, and unfortunately it looks like someone left the cameras on auto-pilot. While you can adjust the camera it seems like you have to do that every 20 seconds, making battling the henchmen a major pain in some areas, along with traveling via web. There were some instances where the camera was so bad while traveling I just gave up and had Spider-Man fall to his death so I could start all over again. Sometimes you'll find yourself going into first-person mode, and depending who you're facing this gaming aspect can be either fun (Kraven) or just plain annoying (Vulture).

Fortunately the folks at Activision and Beenox managed to put together a game that's both lengthy and interesting (for the most part). Each level takes roughly 30-60 minutes to complete, depending on how well you adjust to each level, and given that there are thirteen levels and one tutorial you have at least a fair 10 hours of gameplay given to you. There will be some frustrating levels, mind you, but for the most part the game is pretty well worth going through the entire thing.

PROS:

• Graphics look great
• Storyline's good for what it's worth
• Gameplay is pretty fun
• Deadpool level

CONS:

• Villains are hit-and-miss
• Adjusting the camera every so often is annoying
• Controls -- especially combos -- are tough to handle while having your ass handed to you

FINAL THOUGHTS:

While Shattered Dimensions has its flaws there's enough good to be found in this new gaming chapter of the world's favorite neighborhood Spider-Man. The camera angles might ruin some of the great aspects of the game, but in the long run there's plenty to like in this story mode. Yes, the whole broken artifact thing has been done in so many other comics and video games, but the way it's accomplished makes it a fun title as a whole. Just be warned that there will be some frustrating parts in Shattered Dimensions, so be prepared to curse loudly at your console and TV.

FINAL GRADE: 7.2 (out of ten)

After a week off the Bastards return to the roundtable! It most pleases the Busey.

This week King Baby Duck wraps up his coverage of PAX East, and the trio share their thoughts on the demos for Mortal Kombat and Tiger Woods PGA Masters 12. Anvil gives his weekly sports report, Blueonic reviews the movie Battle: LA and King Baby Duck says why Prometheus Bound is the first great new musical of the decade. Finally thoughts are thrown around about the new Dropkick Murphys album Going Out In Style, and Blueonic wraps it up with an Oh For Fuck's Sake! dealing with the rise of the minimum wage.

It's all right here in Episode 88: And Starring Gary Busey As Stryker!

This morning I had the chance to check out a demonstration of the upcoming Rockstar Games title L.A. Noire, which is due to be released this May. During their 30-minute preview the folks at Rockstar managed to prove why their detective thriller is a completely different experience from any of their other titles.

L.A. Noire splits its levels with various different cases in four sections: traffic, arsenal, homicide and vice. For the demonstration the Rockstar reps showed off the beginning of The Red Lipstick Murder case, which is based on the infamous Black Dhalia case. (All the cases in L.A. Noire are based on real crimes in the 1940s.) During the demo the reps showed how players had to use their own sleuthing skills to find clues to solving these cases, along with asking questions and trying to see if people are telling the truth, hiding some facts or are straight-out lying. Thanks to the motion capture technology players will be able to guess what someone is saying is fact or fiction thanks to the characters' realistic facial expressions.

The graphics in the game so far look phenomenal, and manage to surpass the quality of Heavy Rain. The faces look real, and the animation is amazingly smooth. Plus the all-out gameplay is unlike anything Rockstar Games has done before, with a case-solving system that hasn't been seen in any game of recent time. Plus from what they were saying it looks like they did their research regarding 1940s Los Angeles, for within L.A. Noire is eight square miles of free world gaming. May 17th cannot come soon enough for this game to drop, as the taste I received today for this game has left me craving for more.

Even though I wasn't "allowed" to play Mortal Kombat as a child, I still did. The moves, the Fatalities and the all-out gore drew all of us young kids to this wonderful title that was hated by parents and congressmen alike. With a brand-new Mortal Kombat title due next month can a game whose biggest draw was its gratuitous violence still bring in new and old players alike in our current-gen gaming society? After going hands-on with it at PAX East today, the answer is a strong "absolutely"!

At the Mortal Kombat demo lucky gamers had the chance to fight it out as one of many of the fighters, including Scorpion, Nightwolf, Kung Lao and Johnny Cage. When it came my turn I decided to go with Reptile, whose appearance has changed for the better since his creation. Instead of looking like a clone of Sub-Zero and Scorpion the slithering creature has a green skin color, a sewer-dwelling attire and a nasty dinosaur-like face. Once I began I went through rounds with Noob Saibot, Katana, Nightwolf and Ermac.

The fighting style is a lot more polished than in past games, despite the fact that there are more buttons than in the days of 16-bit gaming. You've got your regular punches and kicks, as well as your special attacks (i.e. Reptile's acid spit). Another big improvement is the game's special grappling attacks, where depending on how much power you've been given you can do various moves like a backflip or create a massive acid ball and fire it on your opponent's back. Of course there are the fatalities, and the one I was able to do had Reptile spit acid into his opponent's mouth, concluding with him ripping out the poor soul's entrails. There also powered-up moves you can do, and with Reptile it involves some eye-poking, spine crushing and just all-out badass body flailing! What makes this Mortal Kombat more "realistic" is the body damage you and your opponent will receive during the battle's progression. Bruises, cuts and flesh wounds are in heavy detail, down to a literal eye-popper if you're lucky enough to take such a hit. You'll even see some damage in x-ray mode, which showcases how nasty a battle like this can be. And for those who are wondering, yes, the "Whoopsie!" guy is back!

Before I even started playing the game I was handed 3D glasses to check out those features. I've been skeptical about glasses-based 3D gaming, but it seems like the folks at NetherRealm Studios got it right on the money in regards to how to properly do it. The blood and gore just flings out at you, and the worlds have much depth to them. Most importantly it's in your face without being so, well, in-your-face. It looks nice and clean without having a gimmicky feel to it.

After what I saw today it's clear that the games of old are coming back in full force, and Mortal Kombat is one title that has proven itself to be a huge step in the right direction. Come April 19 the world of gaming will be humming that classic fight song from days of old, and those same congressmen who hated the game before will once again be screaming in anger about how immoral the game is. I, along with the other gamers of the world, will simply point and laugh at them for their sheer utter stupidity at having nothing else better to bitch about. Time to fist pump and shout its title into the sky, for Mortal Kombat is upon us!

One of the most-talked about FPS games coming out this year is Brink, a game that combines the technical shooter aspects of Call of Duty: Black Ops, puts it into a futuristic world of revolution and adds a little parkour action a la Mirror’s Edge. From what I played at PAX East yesterday it’s appears that the folks at Bethesda and Splash Damage are on the verge of revolutionizing the entire shooting genre.

The folks at the booths had it set up so everyone battled each other in an online mission mode. For this mission one team had to stop the other team from taking over both their safe and to avoid having one of their areas taken over. For this demo I was on the purple team, the one that was infiltrating the red team’s area. During gameplay players have the option to choose four different player settings: soldier, operative, engineer and medic. As I’m more used to just going crazy on the fields and shooting everything that moves I opted to be a simple soldier.

Once the twenty-minute demo began I started to familiarize myself with the controls, and while it was so easy to aim and fire at the enemy I could not help but notice that my guy looked kind of off while he was sprinting. Maybe it was just how he held his gun, or perhaps the proper animation cycles hadn’t been finely tuned yet in regards to that manner. Nevertheless finding the enemies and taking them down were kind of a breeze. However just killing about isn’t the acceptable way to win the rounds. There’s far more to it.

You see Brink is not you’re average shoot-em-up bang-bang title, rather it’s a game where the more you help out your fellow crew more points will be added to your total. You can share ammo, give away health, guard certain areas, protect innocents, fix items and help set traps to take down the enemy; all of this to raise your score in the end. Brink is the video game that -- instead of only rewarding kills -- promotes the concept of teamwork within your faction, and while many online modes already do that it has never reached this deep. In fact you can probably go through an entire level without firing a single shot, and you can still score high just by doing the proper tasks and missions. Granted that would be hard to do, but it is very possible.

What’s more to Brink is that it’s weapon and ranking system -- both on and offline -- is more realistic. Regular guns and such are fast to reload, whereas sniper rifles and the bigger weapons are far slower. (There are also barely any one-shot kills, unless you have a big weapon and fire it on a weak character). While this may sound like a downside it gives those who are still getting themselves familiar with first-person shooters a much fairer chance. What’s more when you level up online, while you can face those that have higher numbers, you cannot battle it out with gamers whose figures are lower than yours.

Judging from my experience playing this demo Brink is shaping up to be an exciting game. While it would’ve been nice to have the option to try out a level or two in story mode the all-around good feeling I had as soon as my turn was up made it worth the hourlong wait I had to go through. When the end of May comes around you can bet that Brink will be one title on every gamer’s playlist.

I've been a follower of the Duke Nukem franchise since its 2D, orange-skined days, and the news of Duke Nukem Forever finally reaching our gaming consoles sounds too good to be true. Lo and behold, Duke is here and in the CGI flesh. Has it been worth the thirteen-year wait? In two words: FUCK YES!!!

At PAX East today I managed to get hands-on with Duke Nukem Forever at the 2K Games booth, and managed to play two levels within my twenty-minute limit. The first level, an intro of sorts, is kind of an intended joke. You start by pissing in a toilet, followed by drawing genitals on a nearby whiteboard. Once the game finishes (intentionally) bullshitting the player you're thrown right into the madness, thanks in part to a nasty missile-launching cycloid with a low tolerance for pain. It took me a few minutes to figure out where the hell the extra ammo in the level was, however, and wound up dying a couple times because of my sheer stupidity. After a few tussles I took down the beast, and kicked his eyeball for a perfect field goal. Insert a little joke about how long it took to make the game, and the demo continued.

The other level I had the chance to try out had me start out driving Duke's monster truck, and unfortunately I had some difficulty trying to steer the vehicle. Maybe it was because Duke Nukem Forever is still in its development stages, but I kept on flipping my truck over every time I tried to steer the vehicle to the left or right. On the plus side running over pig beasts was tons of gory fun, until my vehicle ran out of gas. I then had to jump out my vehicle, blast some more pigs and blow up a spaceship with a good ole RPG. Unfortunately it was at this point where my time limit had ended, and it was time to let someone else play.

Fortunately I managed to have a quick chat with Gearbox Software's Marketing Coordinator Adam Fletcher, who he himself couldn't believe Duke Nukem Forever was finally being released.

"It's going to be one of the most awesome games ever," said an enthusiastic Fletcher. "It's the king of Vaporware...'Wired' came out with their little list, and [Duke Nukem Forever] was number ten for old time's sake."

In response to Gearbox picking up the game Fletcher made it clear that, for the most part, it was still 3D Realms' baby.

"This is the game that [3D Realms] wanted to bring out. It's got the flavor and everything that make Duke that they wanted to bring, and the guys at Tryptich who kept it alive by working out of their garages and then us helping them bring it out. It is that 3D Realms vision, and we're really excited to bring that out."

So what can gamers expect from Duke Nukem Forever this year?

"They will expect a fucking ride!" exclaimed Fletcher. "It's going to be freakin' awesome! It's Duke Nukem, and it's got the badass one-liners and action...It's a popcorn shooter!"

So far the game is looking great, and with its May 3rd release date it is safe to say that Duke Nukem Forever is going to be one of this year's best titles. After all, you can always bet on Duke!

Check out the full audio interview with Gearbox Software's Adam Fletcher here!

The Bastards bring you another fun-filled episode that is sure to turn your frown upside-down.

This week King Baby Duck looks at the demos for Rage of the Gladiator, Dragon Age 2 and Marvel Pinball, and he & Blueonic give opposite viewpoints on the sports demos Major League Baseball 2K11 and Top Spin 4. Plus Blueonic shares his excitement about Mortal Kombat and the ultimate edition of Duke Nukem Forever, and his dismay over the fact that he has to miss out on the fun at PAX East this year. Next Anvil & Mr. Cuse share the sports duties, covering the biggest news from this past week.

Anvil reviews I Am Number Four, Blueonic gives his thoughts on Where In The World is Osama Bin Laden and the B3 crew compare their Oscar picks with their winners. Mr. Cuse shares his opinion on the funk album Inner City Sounds, and the gang end it all with a couple of Oh For Fuck's Sakes!, one dealing with the MBTA (again!) and the other with filthy protesters.

So what are you waiting for? Click on the link here for Episode 87: If It Walks Like An Asshole, And It Talks Like An Asshole, Then It Must Be Phil Collins!

Rants and raves galore fill today's episode of the Boston Bastard Brigade, including a call-to-arms for the return of a beloved sports game series.

This week King Baby Duck talks about his recent concert experience at the Asobi Seksu/Brahams show, and Anvil & Mr. Cuse give their weekly sports reports. The B3 crew tell you why to avoid the MLB: The Show 11 demo like the plague, and plead with EA Sports to bring back their MVP Baseball series. King Baby Duck looks at the demos for Lego Star Wars III: The Clone Wars and Yakuza 4, and end the show with a much deeper look at the new game Bulletstorm.

So what are you waiting for? Click away here for Episode 86: Bring Back The MVP!!!

The Bastards are all about "The Power of Love."

This week the B3 crew share their thoughts on this year's Grammy winners, King Baby Duck talks about Fistful of Mercy and Mr. Cuse gives a hip hop recommendation in the form of Madcon. Blueonic brings his opinion on the new demo for Moto GP 10/11, and King Baby Duck looks at the demos for LIT, Chronos Twins DX, Chick Chick Boom, Killzone 3, Back To The Future: Episode One and Hard Corps: Uprising. Finally Anvil and Mr. Cuse share sports duties.

The videocast:

The folks who brought us the hot ATV racer nail'd have something undead up their sleeve, and they're ready to take your breath away!

In a recent press release the folks at Deep Silver announced that it will be publishing Techland's upcoming zombie sandbox game Dead Island. The game will combine first-person action with a heavy focus on melee combat, character development and weapons customization. These features will be presented in a classic zombie movie-inspired story, filled to the brim with grittiness in its engrossing campaign. Like another popular zombie title Dead Island will also support a four-player co-op mode. What’s better is that anytime during the game your friends can join in on the experience, battling zombies with amazing combat and a stellar story to boot.

Dead Island will be set in an open world tropical island, where hordes of various flesh-eating zombies await you around every corner while embarking on exciting missions through the holiday resort. With a scarce amount of firearms and ammunition you must rely on utilizing random items as weapons to fight off undead hordes in fierce combat. A vast amount of items can be collected, which will help transform the player’s ordinary makeshift weapons into serious instruments of badassery. The game will also feature role-playing elements, allowing players to develop one of the game’s unique character classes, all while learning new skills and fresh tactics during their adventure into the heart of darkness.

Dead Island will be dropping on the Xbox 360, PS3 and PC sometime in 2011. Until then watch the trailer below, and be sure your jaw's in a good position for dropping.

The Bastards gear up for the Super Bowl, even though their beloved Pats are not playing in it.

This week the B3 crew reviews the latest album from Cake, mourn the loss of the White Stripes but praise the revival of Death From Above 1979, as well as share why some musicians should stay on the pipe. Blueonic gives his thoughts on the films What Doesn't Kill You, Frozen and The Secret Agent. Anvil has his sports moment, and King Baby Duck reviews the demos for EA Sports Fight Night Champion, Breach, A World of Keflings, Bionic Commando: Rearmed 2 and Trinity: Souls of Zill O'Li.

It's only January, but already the B3 crew has bore witness to probably one of the best first-person shooters of the year. From EA, Epic Games and People Can Fly comes Bulletstorm, and from what we've seen in the demo we can just about guarantee every gamer out there that they're in for one hell of a ride!

The demo for Bulletstorm has players taking control of Grayson Hunt, played by Mr. Spike Spiegel himself Steve Blum, as he and two of his Dead Echo comrades take down a foray of tattooed punks and gas-filled creeps. Of course you don't walk in there without the proper equipment, for without one's guns and nasty bomb launchers you wouldn't be able to kill with skill (the game's catchy tagline). For this demo you're given three sorts of weapons: a pistol, a shotgun and some special bombs that you can detonate (or just wait for it to explode on them). You've also got two other weapons: your mud-stomping boot and the most badass leash these eyes have ever seen. With the latter you can do two things: fling your rivals close to you for close-range shooting, or power it up and send your victim and anyone else close by soaring into the sky; it's skeet shooting with humans, to put it bluntly. Your weapons also have a secondary power, which will catch your opponents by surprise...before you blow them to smithereens!

So far from the demo the graphics look gorgeously bloody, with heads, limbs and other body parts being shot and blown off with nitty-gritty beauty. The worlds look realistic, whereas the characters seemed to have popped right off the pages of a good comic book. Its rocking soundtrack and explosive sound effects also pull you into the world of Bulletstorm, which will also help the graphics out with the melting of the gamers' faces. In laymen's terms: prepare to take a few days off of work to play this game.

As you can probably tell from these descriptions Bulletstorm is more cartoonish in regards to its blood, gore and just-plain guts 'n' glory, and it's one the most fun experience I've ever had with a demo since trying Split/Second at last year's PAX East. If I were to compare Bulletstorm with anything it would be like taking the movie Shoot 'Em Up and bringing it into a more colorful MadWorld. The phrase "kill with skill" comes into play with how you take down those nasty little baddies. For example: you can pull in a punk with your leash, shoot him in the face, and then kick him into some electrical equipment to fry him up nicely, all for a good-sized combo. If you want to be more simple in your killings you can just shoot the guy in the nads, and then proceed to boot his face into mush. I would mention more, but it would spoil the maniacal surprises that are in store within the demo alone.

The one downside with the demo is that it only lasts about ten minutes, but thanks to the various ways of creating carnage you'll be wanting to go back playing it at least thrice a day. Due on February 22 on Xbox 360, PS3 and the PC Bulletstorm will bring your FPS buddies together for nonstop hours of fun, gore and the best violent chaos anyone can find in a shooter. With this and Duke Nukem Forever coming out this year you can bet that 2011 will be a year where dumb and exciting fun will reign supreme on all the major consoles. Those who order the game on Xbox, however, will get a special treat: first-access to the beta of Gears of War 3. You may commence with the eager drooling, Mr. Pavlov's Dog.

And if he were nominated, he'd make sure he'd sweep the ceremonies...with his roundhouse kick!

This week the Bastards do everything they can to piss off Glee creator Ryan Murphy, siding with Kings of Leon on why he's such a bitch. King Baby Duck reviews the demos for the WiiWare games Furry Legends and Fish 'Em All, he and Blueonic share their thoughts on the Crysis 2 multiplayer demo, and the Duck goes gaga over the demo for Bulletstorm and somewhat shrugs off the PS3 remake of Dead Space: Extraction. Anvil and Nenya give their take on the world of sports, Anvil takes a look at The Mechanic and the B3 crew give their picks for this year's Oscar Nominations.

The saying "If at first you don't succeed, try try again" doesn't really fly in the video game world. Whenever a game fails both critically and financially it usually fades into obscurity, only to be heard by the most knowledgeable of gaming advocates. Developers Reality Pump never got the memo about that, apparently, and here we are with Two Worlds II, the sequel to the failed RPG title that was filled with many bugs and complaints from gamers around the world. At first glance it would seem that Reality Pump didn't learn from their mistakes, but once you get deeper into the game you might find that Two Worlds II is quite a fun title in many cases.

The sequel starts off right where the first one left off: our nameless hero and his sister are in the evil clutches of the lord Gandohar, until a force built by former enemies breaks him out and back into the land of Antaloor. Once out the hero must travel to distant lands, discover the secrets behind the evil lord and find a way to defeat him. It does not come easy for our hero, however, and at every turn there is a task to be had in order to get closer to ridding the world of the evils upon it. Will the hero's sight soon lay its eyes on the freedom of Antaloor, or will he be blinded by the villainy cast upon Gandohar and his minions?

Let's get the first thing out of the way: the graphics are subpar, at best. As you may recall I had praised the outer appearance of Two Worlds II in a preview I wrote a month back, and in some cases I stand by those comments. However there appear to be glitches in some areas of the game, especially when you are in battle mode. I think I counted a dozen times while battling against orcs or the undead where my attacks wouldn't hit my opponent, even though it was clear I sliced them. On top of that the human/orc/other race of beings don't look as realistic as they could be. (So much for the GRACE Engine.)

Despite the characters' appearances the worlds of Two Worlds II are gorgeous, and whether you are walking around in the Asian-inspired Veneficus University or running errands in Hatmandor your eyes will be amazed by some of the sites you see. Heck, even the sewers and underground mazes look wonderful. Most impressive, however, are the animal characters, such as the poo-flinging baboons and the pouncing panthers, who react in the same manner the actual animal would; and I can't talk about the animals without mentioning the creepy Crushers and Gargoyles, which seemed to be made from our darkest imaginations and fears. Trust me: you're going to want to (nay, need to) run away from these creatures when they attack you, as they will kill you after a couple swipes.

This brings me to my second complaint of Two Worlds II: the A.I. is ridiculously too smart. Even on Easy Mode I found myself being sliced, stabbed and murdered by the evil creatures. Let me give you an example: the boss at the end of Chapter One (dubbed Reaper) took me almost two hours to finally defeat. Its difficulty was unbelievable (even more than the ghost of Sordahon in Chapter 2), and its thrashing was finally completed after I had tried to hurt it with all of my bombs and traps. Again your best strategy against most of the powerful foes is to run, but when you're faced with boss battles that you can't get out of your only strategy is to strike and save your game.

The controls in Two Worlds II are massive, thanks in part to the multiple weapons and items you can use. Holding down the Left Button will let you attain access to your bombs and traps, and arming yourself with a sword/axe/big pointy stick will retrieve various striking commands and combos. What's good about this setup is that while the controls sound complicated, they are not. Maneuvering, aiming, striking and even arming your character comes at a relative ease; in fact this is one of the finest control schemes I've ever come across in an RPG like this.

In regards to the weapon system the folks at Reality Pump went in deep to make sure you could be as creative as possible with your weapons and magic skills. Using swords and updating them is ever-so simple, but it's the magic portion that can get complicated in regards to what you can do. By combining various cards dealing with the primary elements and motions such as blasts and shocks you'll be able to create an unlimited amount of different spells to cast upon your enemies. Speaking of creating things, the alchemy mode will either make or break your hero. Use the right mixture of ingredients you've found throughout the levels and you'll find yourself in possession of some potent potions (which you can also give some creative names to).

Let me be blunt with Two Worlds II's weakest point: its voice acting is very rough. Half of the time I cringed hearing some of these characters' voices, nonesuch more than the hero's itself. I get that they were going for a Christian Bale's Batman approach with the voice, but they could've at least added one emotion to him other than, well, having none whatsoever! The female voice actresses were okay, to say the least, and the villains had the necessary power in their voices; but in the long run its the male voice actors that just sounded so bland, as if they were forced to play the roles. Plus is it me, or do these characters just talk too much? (You might find yourself skipping some of the dialogue more often than not.) The game's soundtrack is well-done, although there are places such as battle sequences where it gets kind of repetitive.

The main story campaign in Two Worlds II will take you at least twenty hours to complete, which will give you a good amount of gameplay as you battle it out against your enemies or partaking on much-needed tasks to complete your goals. During the game you'll also be given the chance to go on some side quests, which will range from delivering packages to slaughtering massive creatures in the city's sewers. This will leave you coming back to Two Worlds II more and more, thanks to its reward systems that can help you upgrade your weapons and items. By the time you finish with everything you might find you've clocked in well nearly 40 hours of solid gameplay.

In regards to the Xbox Live modes, there is tons of funs to behold in the Adventure mode. You and your fellow gamers partake in various quests, deathmatches or duels that have you slashing away at foes throughout the many kingdoms and villages. Once you've earned enough coin you can buy your own village, and as you continue through the journey your personal it will continue to grow. In these modes there was no lag to be found, and had some of the smoothest gameplay I've ever bore witness to in an RPG setup. You will not be disappointed at all with what you, your friends and other gamers will be able to accomplish live in Two Worlds II.

But the question on everyone else's minds still remains: has all the stuff that made the first Two Worlds game bad been fixed? To be frank: kinda/sorta. There will be a couple moments in the game where the frame rate does drop a bit, and it will sometimes load the level a bit too slowly. However what makes Two Worlds II stand out from its bigger brother is that it has enough good qualities in it to be considered a nicely-played RPG. Granted it's no Elder Scrolls or Tales of Symphonia, but it's far better than any role-player that Square-Enix has come out with for the past couple years.

PROS:

• Many quests and side quests to go on
• Fun and fluid online play
• Massive weapon/spell combinations, great control system
• Worlds and scenery look gorgeous

CONS:

• Voice acting kind of sucks
• A.I. can sometimes be too high in difficulty
• Human and orc characters don't look so great

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Two Worlds II may not be the blowout RPG of this year, but it's certainly surprising how far along they've come since its awful predecessor. While the graphics and voice acting aren't Grade A, the gameplay has shown much evolution and diversity. Plus there's tons to do in this game, so you can bet that you'll be getting your money's worth in that regard. In short: while Two Worlds II has its downsides it has enough good points to make this a game worth trying.

FINAL GRADE: 7.5 (out of ten)

Press copy provided by Aubrey Norris and the folks at SouthPeak Games.