Wow, it seems like I almost always find a reason to hold off my reviews of good games. I also have taken way too much time off from doing a review that I feel guilty now. Just a quick explanation is I am looking at getting a house and possibly doing video reviews of games as typing takes some effort for me to do. So why not start off with a good review of a game I have been waiting to do for a while (and possibly a future "Let’s Play" series if everything comes together).

As from my previous Minecraft review you will notice my obsession to dig and build items.  I also love the idea of randomly generated content.  So as a for note the following game has some inspiration from Minecraft, but is in no way a rip off so do not dare to say it. If you follow the Steam community then you will know that I am talking about Terraria. This is a game about digging, getting items, exploring, and game progression.  Do you like Minecraft but want more content progression, like Castlevania-styled games, and only want to spend $10 on a game that will probably hold twenty hours of your time if you rush through the game? (I have about 200 hours already!) The only downside that I hear people say is they do not want to play 2D games anymore, but really if you take the time to get into the game you will be an addict.

So what do you do in this game really? You start off on the surface of a world in the normal way trying to build a house before the nightfall comes. What comes at night you ask (if you are not a gamer)?  Well zombies and demon floating eyeballs like most other games. The next step follows in the Minecraft tradition to look for caves that hold valuable ores for armor. Here is where this game starts to deferrer from Minecraft, as there are also secret rooms and chests in the caves that will upgrade your health, give you magical and special items like double jump and a grappling hook. In fact exploration is often rewarded with gear and nifty items that make progression a main part with building secondary unlike Minecraft. You can use ore to craft your armor at a bench, or make your house into a doom castle equipped with traps, NPC vendors, and throne rooms. It does not stop there, after you get gear from mining you fight in corrupt areas of the map, summon bosses for special armor, fight in underground jungles and dungeons filled with traps and loot, and eventually transform the world to do it all over again.

This game sounds cool to play, but the best part is that there is a fully integrated multiplayer so you can do all this with a group of friends (8 open slots default on a server). If you want more of a challenge, you can change the game modes so that death leaves more of a penalty. There are three settings that are softcore, normalcore, and hardcore. From easiest to hardest as follows: drop gold on death, drop gear on death, and your character is deleted with all gear and items on death. Hardcore is especially horrible as the introduction of traps and the new hard mode world make avoiding death at some point seem impossible.

Well there have to be some downsides to Terraria, it cannot be that amazing. I really wish that I could say I have finally found the perfect game for me to play. Sadly that is not the case here, but this game is amazingly close to perfect. My first and biggest would be the multiplayer aspects difficulty, sadly the developers have not put a scale on the monsters. This means that the more people you have, the easier the game will be. I would love to see the bosses hit harder or have more health with every person you add.

The second would be lack of true end game content. When you get all the gear you are left with building and whatever else you can find to amuse yourself. This is not an easy thing for most developers to figure out, but I hear that competitive modes are on the way so I guess we will be forced to organize and setup special maps to extend the fighting in this game. This is really just me pushing for a feature earlier rather than later on the list, as once it is implemented all content patches after will only require developer tweaking to update death matches. Finally would be Steam integration, the current system does not save characters or your game to the Steam cloud. This also means that to set up a game you will need to pass you game host’s IP address to connect.

What else could I say here but a personal thank you to Re-Logic for making an amazing game that has sucked up many hours that I would have spent doing nothing or being “social,” and who wants that.  They are an inspiration for what game companies should be, adding content well past the game's official release and promising more content to come for free. (If Redigit sees this review, the one thing I would tell him is the community has his back for an amazing game like this, if he wants to charge for the next content patch or at least put up a donation page for continued development I will gladly give.) There are few companies out there that I have found their games for as cheap and given so much. If you have not played or watched this game then do so, until I get a video review setup I will recommend Totalbiscuit and Jesse Cox Play Terraria. It is hours of hilarity and it will show you what this game is about.

PS: Yes, in the below pic I am killing a unicorn. He shoots fire out of his mouth!

Until next time: Shut up and dig, Gaiden!

If there's one thing you can always count on id Software to do, it's make a first-person shooter that will leave your heart racing. With an impressive resume under their arm (Wolfenstein, Doom, Quake) -- along with a company like Bethesda backing them -- it seems like a no-brainer that anything id Software does will hit one out of the park. At E3 this past year I was blown away by what I had seen of its latest baby Rage, which had me at the edge of my seat as I tackled its demo. However a semi-bitter aftertaste was left in my mouth after playing the full version of this beast.

Players take control of a person known as an Ark Survivor, who must rid the desert of mutants and other bandits that wish to harm the rest of what remains of the human race. Ranging from collecting data to simply blowing away enemies in your amped-up dune buggy, gamers partake on various missions in order to find out the truth behind the goings-on in this post-apocalyptic world. While taking on these missions you also take part in races to earn points & cash to upgrade your vehicle and purchase more weaponry; the latter, of course, being most important.

Rage has the honor of being the absolute best-looking game currently on any console. Moving at 60 frames a second, the characters and worlds simply jump out at you (sometimes literally). Not even most computer-animated films look as good as this title, as there is heavy detail in just every person you run into; the mutants and nasty creatures are even more frightening than any zombie found in Dead Island. The areas you roam through like Wellspring and the Dead City look almost too real to be made by any sort of coding, giving way to much character in just about every room you step foot in.

There are times where it took some time for a room to be fully rendered, though, so some patience may be needed before you run through every since room; not to mention the loading times can be a pain. There is also a small drawback to a game running at 60 fps: the enemy AI. Since there is no lag at all in the single player game these mutants and bandits will come out at you without any sort of hesitation. In laymen's terms: you'll find yourself shooting all over the place and missing your target at least half the time.

Fortunately id Software has not lost its old-school FPS roots when it comes to ammo and items. With the money and racing points you earn you can buy just about an unlimited supply of guns, secondary weapons, ammo, and other items needed to make more powerful weapons. You can also find items laying around the various levels, and can pick them all up without having to worry about running out of space in your bottomless carry-on pack. It may take away a bit from the strategy aspect of the game, but you'll be thanking Rage for letting you keep that rocket launcher to thwart off a gang of mutants in the long run.

As mentioned the high frame-rate in the game will make it tough at times to aim at your enemies, but you have a strong advantage on your hands thanks to its control scheme. It should be noted, first off, that you have the option to change the control scheme to however it feels comfortable the most while playing; something that I had to do while in combat mode. Taking aim at your enemies hiding behind a rock has never been this simple, as the game rewards you for taking your time while looking for the sweet spot on your opponent's body. Using secondary weapons such as the remote controlled bomb and wingstick come in handy during intense moments, also rewarding you with bloody hilarity if you use them right.

Rage isn't also just a fun first-person shooter, but also a great racer. In the town of Wellspring you'll be able to sign up for various races to earn points, cash, and street credibility. The mechanics found in these races are almost as good as the ones you see Codemasters and EA Black Box creating in their franchises. Yes, these races can be pretty straightforward (beat a specific time, get first place, be the last vehicle standing), but thanks to its gameplay elements and control scheme they are also a lot of fun to tackle on.

There is, unfortunately, an Achilles' Heel found in Rage: its storyline. For the life of me I have not been able to figure out what is really going on in this game. Why was I chosen to be a survivor when the asteroid was about to hit? What's this special gift that these people claim I have? What is it about these survivors from the past that make them wanted by The Authority? I found myself asking more questions about what was going on in this game than there were answers, and for that Rage made me feel like I had no real purpose playing this game.

Rage has a run time of about ten to twelve hours, depending on which difficulty level you have it set on. There are also a few side quests to go on while the main game happens, but they're quite miniscule. Wellspring also hosts some mini-games that range from speed-stabbing to an RPG-styled card game. There are also two online modes: a free-for-all vehicle race battle mode and a co-op mission mode that explains some of the back story going on while the main game is happening.

PROS:

• Best damn looking game ever made
• Strong gameplay elements, control aspects are heavily regarded
• Racing is more fun than it is let on

CONS:

• Story is very uninspired
• Enemies are a bitch at 60 fps
• Could've used more side quests, online modes

FINAL THOUGHTS:

There is no better looking title out there on consoles than Rage, and it plays like a true beauty. Unfortunately its uninspired story will probably leave you forgetting this game existed as soon as you finish it. A shame, considering it's the type of first-person shooter gamers have been wanting companies like DICE and Infinity Ward to create for their storied franchises. Definitely give Rage a spin to see how id Software does FPS gaming right, but also bear witness to how not to tell a worthwhile tale.

FINAL GRADE: 8.0 (out of ten)

Our Bastette-In-Training returns for an all-new episode!

This week the B3 crew looks at the week in sports, including a final wrap-up before Super Bowl Sunday (since this was recorded the Saturday before the game). The new movie Chronicle is reviewed, Saignement tries her hardest to forget Underworld: Awakening, and King Baby Duck gets riled up when the best movie of 2011 gets screwed over at this year's Oscar nominations. Finally the demos for Twisted Metal, Syndicate, Gotham City Impostors, Happy Action Theater, and Rhythm Heaven are looked at, and Saignement shares her initial thoughts on Final Fantasy XIII-2 and Soul Calibur V.

A lot to discuss, and it all fits into place. It's Episode 127: "Don't Pay Attention To Us! We're Mormons!" (You'll have to see Chronicle to know the meaning behind today's title.)

With the newest of the beloved Just Dance series finally making it out from Wii-exclusivity, I was able to give it a try with my Kinect for the 360, just as the sequel to the Kinect dance hit Dance Central hit stores. With both dance games sitting on my shelf beckoning, I was hard pressed to decide which of the pair would reign as my number one dance game of choice.

I admit that right off the bat Dance Central had a strong lead with the option to import all of the songs from the first Dance Central with the use of the code provided in the first game, making the two into one super game, a feature Just Dance couldn’t provide me with due to this being its first Kinect-ready title. Both titles provide the option of downloading songs from the market place individually, which is nice, but something I haven’t felt willing to spend my Microsoft points on yet.

Download options aside, Just Dance does lead with a larger song-base to start with. However, I found myself only play a few of the gems in Just Dance like LMFAO’s “Party Rock Anthem” or Duck Sauce’s “Barbra Streisand”. Dance Central may have a smaller selection, but they will it with more hits and a better quality of songs, new and old. During parties with my friends we definitely give Just Dance it’s due time for its multiplayer possibilities, but Dance Central always works its way back in for our loves of it’s songs.

As far as actual gameplay and being sensitive to movement, Dance Central continues to pull ahead. When playing Dance Central it will tell me when any part of my body is about two inches off anywhere, while Just Dance doesn’t tell you where you are messing up, just that you are, but also doesn’t seem to have adapted to the Kinect well. Just dance was made for the Wii originally, focusing all of its motion capture on the hands, which it still seems to do, even with the whole-body capabilities of the Kinect.

One place where Just Dance leaves Dance Central in the dust however is multiplayer. This is the first time Dance Central offers multiplayer, and it is limited to two people only. Just Dance however has always had a wide multiplayer and can be up to four players. Just Dance also features a kind of open multiplayer where at any point in the song you can simply walk into the Kinect field and it will add you to the game. Dance Central will need to pause and sign you in to play, not nearly as smoothly.

Both games feature a workout mode meant to promote being active. With Just Dance you will collect sweat points to show off how long you’ve been at your workout, however these points don’t earn you anything and go away once you exit workout mode, making a rather small victory. Dance Central offers pre-selected dance playlist for different levels of workout, in which they track your time spent and calories burnt, which you can go back and view later, making it feel like a bigger accomplishment, and keeps you active by not having to select a new song each time.

One feature that Just Dance holds that you won’t find in Dance Central is the create mode, where you make your own dances to the songs in the game, or tweak the ones already there. This feature seemed really cool at first, when I went to try it out, half the time I found myself lost for dance moves and simply copying what had already been there. Maybe for a more creative dancer this would be fun, but I play these games because I can only dance with someone telling me the moves.

The final feature that really sold me on Dance Central over Just Dance was its ability to create your own playlist of songs to play through. Of course everyone has their select favorites when it comes to dancing games, and to able to store them all together and not have to go searching in between each one is a convenience I really enjoyed. Now I have all my hits like Lady Gaga, Rihanna, and La Roux all together, just waiting for anytime I want to play.

FINAL GRADES: Dance Central 2: 9.0 (out of ten) Just Dance 3: 6.4 (out of ten)

Written by Saignement

After a break, the Bastards regroup for an all-new episode.

This week the B3 crew look at the demos for UFC Undisputed 3, The Darkness 2, and Quarrel, and Blueonic shares his reasons why Call of Juarez: The Cartel is such an awful game! Anvil gives his weekly sports report, the Bastards give their Super Bowl picks, and reveal a special bet they have made with Toronto rockers Hunter Valentine on what happens if their Patriots win or lose. An Oh For Fuck's Sake about annoying people in the movie theater is thrown on the table, and Contraband and Haywire are both reviewed.

Don't tap out just yet! It's Episode 126: Thank You, Gina, May I Have Another?

It's hard not to be hypnotized by a game like Trine 2. A title filled with much beauty and wonderment, this sequel to the moderately successful 2009 game from Atlus and Frozenbyte knows how to dazzle any gamer by its sheer looks alone. Once you get past the gorgeousness of Trine 2 you'll find yourself head-on with one of the most clever puzzle games released in years.

Trine 2 has you re-teaming your old friends from the first game: Zoya the thief, Pontius the knight, and Amadeus the wizard. They are called upon once again by the Trine, and are sent out on a quest to search for clues regarding the mysteries behind the black magic in the forest. Throughout the game players will have to solve puzzles in order to reach the next section of the game, while at the same time defeat any goblins and other mystical creatures that want to keep you from finding out too much about what's really happening in the forests.

Players can switch between characters at any time during gameplay, as each character has its own uses. Pontius is good with combat, along with breaking through rock walls. Zoya can reach bigger heights with her grapple rope, and can use her bow for long-ranged attacks. Amadeus -- the weakest of the three -- can use his magic to pick up heavy objects, as well as conjure up boxes and planks for helping get across long ranges. As the game progresses you will be able to unlock new abilities and weapon upgrades for each of your character such as hammer throw and fire arrows.

All these abilities come in handy when it comes to the puzzle aspect of the game, where the only way to solve them is to really think outside the box. Sometimes you will have to use just about every character's abilities in order to solve one of these puzzles. You'll find yourself turned upside-down when sometimes the answer to the hardest puzzle in the game can be right in front of your eyes. If you ever worry that a solution to a puzzle might need an upgrade you haven't unlocked yet, your fears will be put to rest; you can reset any upgrades and reorganize them however you want them to be.

Combating against goblin foes can be fun, not to mention open-ended. You can either take the easy route and have Pontius slay them all with his sword and hammer, or you can use Amadeus and fling the goblins into natural hazards with the grab option (once you unlock it). Having said that there isn't much variety when it comes to combat. However the boss battles can put you at the edge of your seat, especially when you come face-to-face with the final boss in Trine 2.

So much can be said about the graphics. It's one of those rare moments where you wish you can see a game like this on a giant movie screen and in 3D, as the beauty in Trine 2 is truly unmatched by any other downloadable title out there. Its worlds, characters, and plants are a real treat for the eyes, and look almost as good as the Navi planet in Avatar. Matching the world with its beauty is Ari Pulkkinen's score, which sounds like something you'd hear in any recent Peter Jackson movie. The voice acting could've used a bit of work, though, especially Zoya's. Its script, however, can be hilarious at times.

Trine 2 will probably take you about eleven hours to complete on your own, although it might be quicker if you play online co-op mode. The downside to beating the game is that there isn't any extra gaming modes to play in; a shame considering there could've been so much more you could do with a great title like this. (Maybe if a third one is made, they can try something like Create-A-Puzzle mode.)

PROS:

• Fantastic puzzles and gameplay elements
• Outstanding visuals and soundtrack
• Online co-op mode is tons of fun

CONS:

• Battling goblins lacks variety
• No extra game modes
• Voice acting is kinda on the meh side

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Trine 2 is one of the most fun puzzle adventure titles I've played in recent memory. A true thinking man's game, Trine 2 will have your brain work out every possible solution to each puzzle you come across. Trine 2 will leave gamers with a smile thanks to its strong gameplay elements, beautiful visuals, and a great story that will leave you wanting to come back for more.

FINAL GRADE: 9.2 (out of ten)

If one was to compare the Uncharted series to anything, it would certainly be the Indiana Jones of video games. From its jaw-dropping gameplay and visuals to the various twists and turns players discover in the series, the adventures of Nathan Drake always manages to leave people wide-eyed and clamoring for more. At the end of last year his latest journey Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception was brought to PS3 owners across the world, continuing on with its trend of extreme treasure hunting that would make any Discovery Channel host envious.

The game starts off with Nathan and his mentor Sully trading Nate's ring to Talbot for cash. After accusations of counterfeit bills Nathan and Sully discover the real buyer of the ring: Katherine Marlowe, who twenty years before had tried to steal the same ring, only fourteen year-old Nathan got to it before her. The ring, as it turns out, holds the key to the secret treasure of Sir Francis Drake. Along with Charlie Cutter and their old friend Chloe Frazer, the four of them set out to find the truth behind Sir Drake's secret quest for Queen Elizabeth. When Marlowe and Talbot use their powers to thwart our heroes' journey, it takes every bullet, any form of transportation, and all the breath in their lungs to reach the peak of their adventure, but what happens when the treasure they seek out isn't the one they imagined?

Throughout Uncharted 3 you will find yourself solving puzzles that will lead you closer to Drake's hidden treasure, with each puzzle harder than the last. From cranking contraptions to piecing puzzles together each puzzle you will come across will take much time and effort to complete, with the reward at the end sometimes involving Marlowe's henchmen trying to take you down. For that you can use guns, grenades, missile launchers, and your own bare hands to take down any enemy that you face. At times you'll have to think quickly and run away from dangerous waters, crumbling building, and creepy spiders that only wish to kill you if they get close enough.

There are times when the control scheme of the game can be a little bit confusing. Hiding behind walls and reloading your weapons may take a bit of time to figure out, but in the long run moving around Nathan and taking down Marlowe's henchmen is quite easy. If you've played the first two Uncharted games, then you probably won't have any issue with the controlling aspect of it. Those who are new to the franchise, however, will be in need of a bit of practice.

The one thing you can always count on for the Uncharted series is that it will keep its gamers drawn in with its story and dialogue, and Drake's Deception is no exception. Here we see a story told with many great plot-twists, heart-stopping moments, and some of the best action sequences of the year. You feel for Nathan Drake the same way you would feel for, say, Robert Downey, Jr.'s Sherlock Holmes or -- the more obvious one -- Harrison Ford's Indiana Jones, and you also learn about his past in a way that makes him more human. Hearing the banter between Nolan North (Drake) and Richard McGonagle (Sully) is at times a riot, with a sort of Gibson/Glover Lethal Weapon vibe in the way they deliver their lines. Like Arkham City, Drake's Deception easily draws in the attention of gamers and movie buffs alike. The epic John Williams-like score from composers Greg Edmonson, Azam Ali, and Clint Bajakian alone will pull you into Nathan Drake's realm.

The Achille's Heel in Uncharted 3, however, is the graphics. These worlds you visit -- from Yemen to Colombia -- are gorgeous, no doubt, and the vehicles and characters you meet and play look great. Using motion capture, Naughty Dog was able to use true reactions to events that happen around Nathan Drake. At times I thought the characters moved in a more true-to-life fashion than the recent Robert Zemeckis films, but not without issues. Case in point, in Chapter 17 (where Nathan battles through many henchmen on the plane he snuck on) I found Nathan stuck in one of the plane's crates, a sheer feat considering that there was no way for your character to get into the wooden boxes. I had to start from the previous checkpoint many times because of my character's glitchy ability to get stuck in impossible places, and while there should be an update fixing that issue coming soon it still irked me that these glitches were there to begin with.

The single-player game will take you around ten hours to complete on Easy Mode, but there is plenty to go back to after you beat it. Throughout almost each level there are more hidden treasures to discover, and with the Level Select section of Single Player mode you will be able to revisit them and relive your favorite moments from the game. Whether it's the opening barroom brawl scene or escaping the sinking cruise ship there are plenty of instances of the game that you will want to try again. There is, as well, the multiplayer aspects of the game.

Uncharted 3 has your usual Team Deathmatch/Free For All modes that you see in many first-person shooters, not to mention a Capture-The-Flag-styled treasure match called Plunder, but it's the co-op areas that keep the game shining. Co-op Adventure Hunter Arena will not only have you facing off against endless amounts of enemy AIs, but also real players found on the web. Then there is Co-op Adventure, which will have you and up to two others online or friends in the same room as you take on a five-chapter story mode that features areas from both Among Thieves and Drake's Deception. There is plenty to go back to when you've reached the Uncharted 3's end credits.

PROS:

• Breathtaking story, visuals, soundtrack
• Great amount of puzzles and gun battles
• Multiplayer modes come in the bucketload

CONS:

• Character animations can sometimes be unnatural
• Learning some of the survival tactics will take some time for Uncharted newbies

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Uncharted 3 is another reason why video games should be looked at the same way as motion pictures. The story, characters, and worlds you will visit in the game are awe-inspiring, and it helps that the gameplay elements and puzzles add onto the wonderment of this title. Its multiplayer aspects almost guarantee that you'll be revisiting this game many times. If you own a PS3, then there is no reason why Drake's Deception shouldn't be in your library, even if you haven't played the first two Uncharted games.

FINAL GRADE: 9.7 (out of 10)

The three Bastards and Bastette-In-Training rev one up filled with tangents and topics galore!

This week the B3 crew review Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol, Green Lantern, and Colombiana, and King Baby Duck gives a rundown of the demos Final Fantasy XIII-2, EA SPORTS Grand Slam Tennis 2, Asura's Wrath, Amy, and Choplifter HD. Anvil gives his weekly sports report, and a quick look at one of 2011's best albums from The Knux.

Buckle up your seatbelt! It's Episode 125: I'll Show You A Ghost Protocol!

Just when you thought Dead Island couldn't get any bigger, its publisher has announced a new storyline for your zombie goodness.

On January 31st on the PS3 (February 1st on Xbox 360) a new mission-based DLC pack will be released for Dead Island. The Ryder White DLC campaign will have players see the game through the main antagonist's eyes, experiencing the biggest events on the island of Banoi.  This single player campaign will feature several hours of gameplay, as well as a few brand new weapon blueprints.

“I always like to think of antagonist characters not as evil, but simply….misunderstood,” Deep Silver's evil Marketing & PR Tarantula Aubrey Norris argued while sharpening her talons and drinking the blood of the innocent from a jewel encrusted chalice.  “Ryder White was obviously suffering from a massive case of beast mood in Dead Island, and I think it’s only fair we got to learn his side of the story.”

Dead Island’s Ryder White DLC will be available on January 31, for $9.99 on PS3 and on February 1, 2012, for 800 MSP/$9.99 on Xbox LIVE and Steam.

A brand-new year, a brand-new episode!

This week King Baby Duck and Anvil share what they did over the break, jump right into the week of sports, and discuss their thoughts on Brock Lesner’s retirement announcement and Cris Cyborg’s steroid scandal. The new NFL Blitz game is put on the table, and the Kinect demos for Kung Fu: High Impact and Motionsports: Adrenaline are analyzed. Another chapter of the MBTA Oh For Fuck’s Sake! is put into the book, and Anvil does an actual anime review this time around for the classic Baki The Grappler.

Fresh out of the oven, it’s Episode 124: Once A Bitch, Always A Canuck!

MY FINGERS ARE ON FIRE!!!!!

After watching this video I have to say that's pretty damn true about learning how to play guitar. (Sadly you can't kick down the walls to other people playing, but that is damn cool!) It might take me a bit to get used to Rocksmith due to the fact that the fingertips on my left hand are burning from playing the game. It's been awhile since I've gotten to sit down and pluck away like this on a guitar.

This is the setup that I have been waiting for. When the first Guitar Hero game came out, I thought it was the worse invention ever. The time that kids spent playing that game could have actually been put towards learning how to play real guitar. Back in 2010 I saw a glimmer of hope at PAX East where a company was selling a electronic device you could hook up to your guitar, but you could only play those chords in order to get it to work with the Guitar Hero or Rock Band games. Power Gig also featured an awesome idea with the actual guitar as a controller. However I did not get the game due to the lack of money at the time and I heard there were a bit of issues with the game.

Now the idea I had back in 2010 was to get something to go from the quarter-inch to USB, but no one had made it and I was going to go to my electronics route to see if I could do it. Again, time restraints and money held me back. I've learned, thought, if you're patient and wait for things to come to you, they will eventually show up. Ubisoft did just that with their quarter-inch plug to USB. You can take any and all guitars with the electric capabilities and your freakin' golden!

I was lucky that I had my father's Gibson Epiphone lying around collecting dust. All I had to do was plug in the guitar, and they helped me tune it through their special tuner screen. Then BAM! I started with finding out how to pluck some strings and hitting the notes when they are on the screen. Right off the bat they started me with the Rolling Stones classic "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction." I played that for a little while, then it was off to play The Black Keys' track "Next Girl," which is an awesome song. It's really interesting how to get your self situated in the game, like when you feel like you're going to mess up each time. Once you get the flow going, and you start playing the songs more and more, Rocksmith actually registers. If you get better it tosses in a couple more notes than your previous playthrough, or if it see you doing bad it backs down on some of the notes.

I did want to record how I was playing, but I don't have the proper recording capabilities; next to that probably the things that would be coming out of my mouth would've been absolutely hilarious. It's probably not a good thing to show how crappy I was doing. I'm not going to lie: I have been playing with the single cord setup. In the game you can select what you want to play, whether it's single chord or multiple chords. I was able to get this game to my nephew, who is a maniac on the guitar. He was playing damn good, and I'm happy that he's got this game because this will improve his guitar skills.

If you don't have your own guitar, you can buy the Gibson Epiphone Junior Edition

The real problem I was having with Rocksmith was when I was researching other reviews before I bought the game, I found  a lot of the reviews were leaning toward the negative side. The big thing that got me was that the person had bought the game thinking his younger kids were going to pick it up and love the game. However, kids are kids: they are going to pick up the game, play it for all of five minutes, and toss it aside. Be warned: you have to watch out for reviews sometimes because people will go all out to say a game sucks because their kids don't like it, or because they suck at the game themselves. (Next to that, if you get any rental setup of games -- or even the game demos on the system you play -- give it a try until you buy. You'll be much happier and you won't have a pile of games you don't want.)

Tuner set up for the guitar

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Rocksmith is definitely a leap in the right direction for interactive gaming. It's a challenge to play, which is awesome because it teaches you how to actually play a guitar. Your hand-eye coordination starts taking into effect, but I'm not sure into the memory aspect of playing the song. I feel that when you play a song you have to be interested in the music in order to care about it. I'm not saying that all the songs they have on the playlist and download aspect, but it's fun to learn different songs. When you get to that point, you'll be able to add your own style when you start to play on your own. This game is based on rehearsing, then going out onto a stage and playing in front of an audience. It's definitely an interesting twist and different from Rock Band, where they just kind of toss you out on stage so you get humiliated and don't want to play the game anymore. This one helps you learn the song before you go on the stage. Next to that it gives you the capabilities of going over the tougher parts of the music via slow succession. A game like Rocksmith has been something I've been waiting for a long-ass time. It's the most realistic piece of musical gaming you can buy today.

The playlist selection is awesome!

I hope that Ubisoft will be coming out with even more music-based titles, or at least have an add-on with the bass aspect. I have to add a special request, due to the fact that I have a specific instrument: I want them to do some of the songs from Mumford & Sons so I can learn how to play the banjo parts of their tracks. Yes, I own a freakin' banjo, as well as an auto harp. (Don't judge me!) I think with what they have done with Rocksmith has brought a totally different aspect of the music games. So Guitar Hero, Rock Band, and Power Gig: Eat your hearts out!

PROS:

• You can use any electric guitar you please!
• It shows you the words to the song to sing along
• Great surround sound
• Awesome playlist and downloads
• Multiple pedals to change the sound
• AMP section play on your own
• Good rehearsal modes

CONS:

• My fingers hurt!!!
• Getting used to where the number frets and strings are
• Menu is a bit tough to navigate
• Doesn't have Slash album, but does have Velvet Revolver
• No, you can't use a banjo or 12-stringed guitars!

FINAL GRADE: 9.7 (out of 10)

Game: Rocksmith
Company: Ubisoft
System: PC, PS3, Xbox 360

PS: Here is the playlist for the most part (Provided by Rocksmith):

Here are more videos on Rocksmith to check it out:

The other half of our Best-Of 2011 show is here! And it's about video games, video games, and MORE VIDEO GAMES!!!

The Bastards King Baby Duck, Blueonic & Anvil, Pandalicious & Hamsterman2049 from ESH, and The Issues Program's Issues Guy & JC Sergeant meet up in another super deluxe episode where they discuss the best, the brightest, the most overlooked and the worst in video gaming for 2011. SKYRIM! BATMAN! ZELDA! BATTLEFIELD! JIMMY JOHNSON! Plus be shocked when you hear which game Pandalicious declared the worst of the year.

It's ribbed for your pleasure, but don't stick your penis in it. It's Episode 123: Blasting Bards Ablaze!

EDITOR'S NOTE: We were also going to cover music more in-depth, but we ran out of energy. Marathoning two episodes in a row drains you, so be sure to only pull stunts like that once a year.

Atlus has just released not one, but two new trailers for the upcoming video game adaptation of Game of Thrones. Check out both "The Wall" and "Winter" trailers below.

The Wall Teaser:

Winter Trailer:

The worlds are looking good, but I'm hoping that the human characters are given a bit of a makeover. After seeing what's been accomplished in Skyrim, Game of Thrones will have to up the ante if they wish to please both fans of RPG titles and those that are into the books & movies. With George R.R. Martin collaborating on the game's story, though, we could be in for a title that pleases both sides.

Game of Thrones is due in early 2012 on PS3, Xbox 360, and PC.

If you've ever played the classic shooter Gradius, and thought that it could use cute anime girls, then Otomedius Excellent would still not be for you!

Developed by Konami Excellent is the second in the Otomedius series (the first released in America), with Mine Yoshizaki (Sgt. Frog creator) designing the characters. The premise of the game has you piloting one of eleven female pilots as they battle against a new threat known as Dark Force, which terrorizes Earth with its massive armies and strange minions. Otomedius is set up in a classic side-scroller style that has you battling ships, bots, and various bosses throughout the levels. Sounds simple, right? Not by a long shot.

One of the game's bigger flaws is that throughout each level too much is going on at the same time. In many instances you'll find yourself battling it out against over thirty enemy ships and bots, only to be shot down after being hit three times. You can collect extra health, but in almost no time at all you'll be back down to one final lifeline, which is symbolized by how much your character's eyes are open in their icon. It gets even worse when all your lives are lost and wish to continue, as Otomedius Excellent will wipe out all but one point of your entire score.

Controls can be wonky at times, too, as you'll find yourself confused about which button does what to no end. One button was supposed to do single shots, whereas another allegedly fires doubles, yet throughout my entire gameplay experience I could not differentiate between the two. Another big flaw with the game is that you could not spin your character around, and while it sounds like that wouldn't make sense there will be areas where enemies will be firing behind you and you cannot evade. It became quite frustrating after being killed seven times in a row by enemies that I literally could not shoot.

Graphically Otomedius Excellent disappoints, looking like a bare bones Xbox Live Arcade title. Nothing about it screams revolutionary, even by downloadable game standards. It made me wonder why it was made into a physical release in the first place, as it looked like something that would barely take up a single Xbox disc. The game also has some translation errors that are more facepalm-inducing than hysterical, leading me to believe that whomever was in charge of bringing this game to America did a half-ass job making sure all the grammatical kinks were out of the system. Its anime sequences look great, although I would worry if a game like this was to be translated into a full-fledged TV series or OVA.

The music, though, is another story. Composed by Motoi Sakurba and Michiru Yamane the techno/trance music that fills the worlds of Otomedius is worthy enough for any club or rave. There is no English dub for the characters, however, and the only way you can understand what they are saying is on the tiny scroll on the bottom left-hand side of your screen. You'll find yourself more confused than intrigued by what's going on throughout the game.

Now comes the worst thing about the game: the Story Mode is only one hour long! You get blasted by the enemies -- and sometimes not have to defeat the bosses at the end to complete each level -- and your total gaming time will be less than even the dreadful Ugly Americans game. You'll be able to earn power-ups that can be used for the next time you play, but you'll find yourself so frustrated with this game that you won't want to bother. There's an online multiplayer mode, as well, but every time I went on there was not a single gamer to be found. (Apparently they got the "Avoid this game!" memo before I did.) As for extras there is this to be found with your right analog stick:

Can you say "Jailbait Simulator"?

PROS:

• Nice opening anime sequence
• Techno soundtrack worthy of any party

CONS:

• Graphics look worse than your average XBLA title
• Too much enemy AI attacking during gameplay
• Story Mode lasts only one hour!
• Disturbing fan-service

FINAL THOUGHTS:

You would think that a game that teamed up the Gradius developers with Mine Yoshizaki would be a winner. Alas it was not to be, as Otomedius Excellent will go down in history as one of the worst scrolling shooter titles ever to be created. This is one game that should've stayed put in Japan; on second thought it should've been scrapped for something that would've even turned out to be below mediocre. Simply put: avoid Otomedius Excellent at all costs, even when it's released on the PlayStation Vita later next year.

FINAL GRADE: 1.1 (out of ten)

I can't believe it! I'm able to watch live streaming TV right on my Xbox 360!

With Microsoft putting in their new upgrades for the main menu, they have turned the Xbox setup into something that resembles our Droid phones or Apple iPads. I didn't think it would be possible to put apps on the Xbox, but they have accomplished this. The new setup is pretty great, as you don't have to keep flipping through everything like you did previously. They have definitely made this a bit more user friendly, especially for Kinect users. I believe that this is what Microsoft originally wanted for Kinect, where you literally walk in, tell your Xbox "Turn on, bitch!" and give me my movies and cable TV; but when I'm bored with that it gives me my damn games. Now the true potential of the FiOS is that besides watching TV shows they will probably be able to do the set up of watching the onDemand programming.

TV Channels for FiOS:

• CNN HD and CNN Headline News
• DIY TV
• MTV HD, MTV2 and VH1 HD
• Turner Classic Movies
• The Hallmark Channel
• Nick HD, TV Land  and Nick Jr.
• Cartoon Network and Boomerang
• TNT HD and TBS HD
• SPIKE HD
• ESPN HD
• Food Network HD
• Home & Garden TV HD,
• Travel Channel HD
• TruTV HD
• Comedy Central HD
• BET HD
• HBO HD, HBO2 HD and MAX HD.

Next to the FiOS app they have many more coming in such as UFC, MLB TV, and much more. I'm not sure when they're supposed to be going up, but I'm looking forward to it. Just make sure that you don't have a lower-end Xbox with the low memory built in; otherwise they will probably stop you from downloading a lot of these apps. So for all those with an Xbox and FiOS: Enjoy!

PROS:

• Synchs with FiOS without entering some special code
• Good selection of channels, some in HD

CONS:

• Not a cable box substitution
• Doesn't get all the basic channels or all the movie channels you pay for
• Noticed skipping, unintentional reversing of shows
• Lacks pause/rewind/forward controls

By the way: If you're wondering about the Comcast app, King Baby Duck will be able to follow up with that. (He has that for his cable provider.) Also I don't trust Comcast much.

P.S.: A scary thought is if they ever think of making a Chat Roulette app with the Kinect. Let's just say that would not be a good thing.

Can your Gunstringer go up against the legendary Mad Dog McDog? Twisted Pixel wants to put you to the test with its latest DLC: Real Big Shootin!

Costing 240 MSP this DLC will have you go up against McDog, who has been running his mouth about your "lack of precision" in the firearm arts. The add-on will have arcade-style shooting similar to what was seen in the original Gunstringer title. According to the official press release:

Play through four acts of “shoot-em-up” gameplay with several challenges per act, facing everything from jet-pack minions, dynamite bombardment, metal dudes, and flying cows. With a host of weaponry at your disposal, train your good eye on all incoming obstacles for a chance to face off against McDog himself. You can also team up with a buddy for turn-based co-op to assist in shooting down that mangy no good dog.

Check out the official trailer below, and be prepared for another serving of gaming madness from the funniest gaming developers in the world! The DLC will be released this week.

It's tough calling a winner in this battle between Battlefield 3 and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, but keep reading and you'll see why...

First let's talk about the story aspect of Battlefield 3:

With Battlefield's backing of the awesome Frostbite 2 Engine (Video Below), the game was able to produce graphics and audio that really blew me away. They have done a phenomenal job on bringing one of the realest game to the audience. I find that when I'm getting these games it needs to have a well-written story in order to get to the point of playing online. With playing Battlefield 3 I was hooked right away into the storyline. It starts you right off in what seems to be a parkour scene where you hop onto a moving train and take down a series of terrorists. This is also where you meet the big bad wolf character of the game: Solomon!

After completing the first part of the mission your character Sgt. Henry Blackburn is being interrogated by a couple of CIA-type agents. They are trying to find out what happened in the situation, getting them to the point where they think that a Sergeant of the Marines is trying to save his own ass. What you will mostly be dealing with in this game is more of a representation of living the story through flashbacks -- coming back to the present where you are at being interrogated -- until the past catches up with the present and becomes the future! Half the time I was playing the game I thought I was living out a movie, which is a beautiful thing. I would like to the leave the story at that, as I feel that if I keep going I may unveil to much.

Multiplayer:

After beating the game I knew what I was in for when hoping to the multiplayer: a whole lot of ass kicking! The online play gives you a great amount of maps, along with different methods of play such as: Conquest, Rush, Team Death Match, Squad Death Match, and Squad Rush. Maps include Grand Bazaar, Damavand Peak, Operation FireStorm, Caspian Border, Seine Crossing, Kharg Island, Tehran Highway, Noshahr Canals, and Operation Metro.

Best maps:

Rush: Damavand Peak (Side note: be an attacker on this map in order to get through the first M-Coms, and a pleasant surprise of base jumping is in your future!)
Any Game Mode: Operation Metro
Conquest: Noshahr Canals

PROS:

• Great story and graphics!
• Able to blow up and level buildings
• Sick online!
• Nice weapons selection and attachments
• Infinite run, great parkour
• Knife kills!
• Love the concept of using tanks, Jeeps, helicopters, and planes

CONS:

• Assholes online, as usual
• Upgrades automatically get put onto your guns after you die (Not always the best options when you get used to your weapon)
• Flashlights and lasers can sometimes be a pain in the ass
• Infinite run sucks if you're a sniper
• Planes are harder to obtain in the multiplayer
• Main storyline is kinda short

FINAL GRADE (FOR BATTLEFIELD 3): 10 (out of ten)

Last, but not least:

After that trailer I really do think they should make a Call of Duty movie!

Story:

If you are the noob, and you just bought an Xbox 360 or PS3 to get into the game now, you'll be missing something from not playing the other games. I would really suggest that you go and buy Modern Warfare 1 and 2 before playing this. (Don't worry: they aren't ridiculous in price.) For all of you that are the vets mainlining all of the Call of Duty games into your system when ever you can, you probably already know everything about the game. (However I find a lot of people don't play the main campaign of the games and just go right to the multiplayer.)

The game starts where it had left off in MW2, where you have Soap McTavish (played by Kevin McKidd) injured, and Captain Price (Billy Murray) bringing him to a doctor to get him fixed. Then it breaks off to another section of the story, where the Russian terrorist group has breached New York and is looking to take over America. As the story goes on from there, it just gets more and more intense. I feel that this game has brought the whole story full circle. I don't believe they will be able to squeeze another one out of the series for this.

Multiplayer:

It's chock full of goodness on the spectrum of varieties. It has for the normal play Team Deathmatch, TDM Kill Confirmed (where you must collect the tags of the ones you kill), Mercenary, Free for All, Domination, Ground War (for 12-18 players), Team Defender, Sabotage, Headquarters Pro, Search & Destroy, and Capture the Flag. For all you hardcore maniacs we have Team Tactical, Mosh Pit, Hardcore TDM, Hardcore Kill Confirmed, Hardcore Seach & Destroy, Hardcore Domination, Hardcore Team Tactical, and everyone favorite BARE BONES!!!

PROS:

• Damn good, long storyline
• Double scope usage for close and long ranges
• Can always call in air strikes on the kill streaks
• Brought back Special Ops

CONS:

• Teammate AI annoyingly likes to run in front of you while taking the shot
• No infinite run, lacks parkour set up like Battlefield 3
• No planes!
• Environments are still not interactive!

FINAL GRADE (FOR MODERN WARFARE 3): 10 (out of ten)

FINAL THOUGHTS:

While it's hard to pick a winner between both of these games, I know Modern Warfare 3 has definitely won on the sales aspect. Gameplay-wise it's just hard to say who really won. With me I like to bounce back and fourth between these two games since I have friends that are too stubborn to buy both titles. For the most part I feel that whatever your appetite is for FPS gaming, you will be satisfied with either game.

I know I gave both titles perfect scores, but these games are very dear to my heart. When I need to get some frustration out I pop in some of my music and go kick ass in online battles. These are really the only games that I can turn to. (Sorry Halo, but you're not that attractive to me anymore. We had our good times, but I'm breaking up with you.)

I can see Battlefield 3 coming out with another map pack somewhere in the near-future, but for right now they will most likely work on creating Bad Company 3 and get that out probably by Fall 2012, giving us another great game to play until they bring us maybe Battlefield 4. It seems that the concept of Battlefield always has more things to offer with their titles. (Personally I would like to see them bring Battlefield 2142 to the console.)

In regards to Call of Duty they might bring us into another Modern Warfare game, but I'm just not sure who the bad guy will be in that one. With the first couple Call of Duty games it was all about World War II, but then they brought in the first Modern Warfare, skipped back to World At War, bringing it forward to Modern Warfare 2, rewinding to the Korean/Vietnam/Cold War era in Black Ops, finally returning to Modern Warfare 3. I can probably suggest that they try to find a way to do a war with the Chinese/Russians or North Koreans, since the world's energy is coming to a shortage. (Think a mixture of Frontlines: Fuel of War and Homefront.)

However maybe this might be a way for the Call of Duty series to jump to another part of our history (i.e.: World War 1), even though people would probably get annoyed by that overdone concepts. What they could do is reach out and create a game to see what war would be like in the future. Next to that, with all the loose ends they tied off in Modern Warfare 3, it's going to be very hard to see what they will be able to create. (You lived through World War 3 in this game! How can they top that?!) We also have Tom Clancy working on yet another game where the people of America start a revolution after they get sick and tired of how the government is being run.

Sadly I'm not sure where Call of Duty will go next, but it looks like the Battlefield series will be able to provide a richer story the next time around. The one game that I wish could've been so much more was Medal of Honor. It was neck-and-neck with Call of Duty for a long time, then the latter was able to keep up and kick ass. Thankfully Battlefield came up in the flanks to give Call of Duty the sort of competition that Medal of Honor failed to bring.

Game: Battlefield 3
Company: EA, Dice
Engine: Frostbite 2
System: PC, PS3, Xbox 360, IOS
Official Website

Game: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3
Company: Activision, Infiinity Ward, Sledghammer Games
Engine: MW3 Engine
System: PC, PS3, Xbox 360, Wii
Official Website

PS: Here's another reason why these stories could get turned into live-action films:

Get your jollies on for a brand-new holiday-filled episode.

This week the Bastards share their favorite (and least-favorite) Christmas films, recipes, classic specials, songs, and gift ideas for all your loved ones. And yes, Anvil does another sports segment.

It's the happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby danced with Danny Fucking Kaye! Here's Episode 121: Boston Bastard Brigade's Christmas Vacation!

After months of clamoring from fans wanting to see it in America, Nintendo has announced that the critically-acclaimed Xenoblade Chronicles is finally arriving on our shores on April 3rd.

The game follows a Shulk, a young man who wields an energy blade called the Monado against the Mechon in order to ultimately save the world. First released in Japan in 2010 Xenoblade Chronicles has received universal acclaim from almost every part of the world. Earlier this year a campaign known as "Operation Rainfall" was created in order to gain Nintendo's attention to the localization of Xenoblade Chronicles, The Last Story, and Pandora's Tower. No word on whether the other two titles will receive a stateside release.

Xenoblade Chronicles will be released exclusively at Gamestop and on the official Nintendo website.

To be truly innovative in the video game world one must think outside the box. Playbrains, on the other hand, decided to think outside the portrait with its latest side-scroller Sideway: New York.

In this platformer players control Nox as he battles his way through the street art-covered cityscape of New York City. His friend is kidnapped by a villain named Spray, and it is up to you (and, if you play co-op mode, a friend) to stop him and his minions. As you play through the level you will earn new power-ups and abilities that can be used to defeat your enemies, which range from the average slide kick and gliding technique to a floor stomp that can kill your opponent in one smash.

It's all these different moves that makes it a tad difficult to remember which button does what. While there is a control map to show you exactly which one performs each maneuver it doesn't help you out during split-second decisions (which happen more often than not). While each of these power-ups are impressive to watch they would be far more enjoyable to accomplish if it didn't involve having to play finger Twister with the PlayStation controller. Despite the difficult control scheme the overall gaming experience is quite unique.

Sideway: New York is presented in a 2D side-scrolling style within a 3D landscape. What that entails is that while the gameplay aspect is in 2D the worlds and buildings that are presented within the third dimension. In some scenarios you'll be running on one side of a building, jumping up, then suddenly find yourself fighting off the enemies on the top of the roof. This may sound like the average platformer, but what makes it stand out is that because you and the other characters are presented as paint on the Big Apple's walls they will always be seen as flat personas. (It's very hard to describe, so the video below should give you a better understanding.)

The characters are very vibrant, combining the styles of Shepard Fairey and Ed Hardy in some cases. One-eyed globs that shoot slime, minions that draw other creatures that wish to kill you, and scuba gorillas (yes, you read that right!) are just some of the characters that you will come across in this title. The crazier characters show up during the boss battle, many of whom are quite inventive. In one case you will come across a psychotic bunny that pukes up smaller bunnies that will attack you in droves. The only character that I found to be disappointing was the Knuckler, whom you will find near the end of the game. His 3D presentation contrasts every other character found in Sideway: New York, and its overall appearance looks more like something you'd see in a shovelware PS2 title.

In spite of that character the look of Sideway: New York is quite stunning. Its style stays true to the spray painting characteristics found throughout the game, and will certainly make many fans of street art happy, whether they're just into crazy letterings spray-painted onto billboards or the politically-charged pieces of art by Banksy. Its soundtrack by Mr. Lif is catchy, bringing to mind the classic hip hop styles of Grandmaster Flash and Naughty By Nature. Unfortunately there is a limited amount of music in the game, so expect a lot of heavy repetition. (It's a shame that PlayStation owners can't switch to their own personal playlists that they upload onto the PS3.)

Players can expect to beat Sideway: New York within seven hours, which is a decent amount of time for a $10 game. You'll also be encouraged to go back to older levels and use the powers you earned later on in the game to reach items and collectibles you couldn't the first time around. Online features are only limited to a leaderboard, where you can compare your score with others from around the world. (SPOILER ALERT!!!) Be warned: like in the brilliant game Rochard the game ends on a cliffhanger, hinting on a sequel that will probably take place in Tokyo.

PROS:

• Visual presentation out of the ordinary
• Innovative characters, boss battles
• Memorable hip hop soundtrack...

CONS:

• ...but songs get repetitive fast
• Control scheme is a bit complicated
• Knuckler boss battle is kind of ugly

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Sideway: New York has its flaws, but its overall presentation makes it a game that any PS3 owner should try. Download the demo first, and if you really like what you've seen I suggest buying the full game. It takes a gameplay style that's been done similarly for over 25 years, and gives it a unique spin. Let's just hope we won't have to wait too long for the next chapter in Nox's story.

FINAL GRADE: 7.0 (out of 10)

After almost OD'ing on tryptophan the Bastards drag themselves onwards for a brand-new episode.

This week the B3 crew share on their experiences with the Thanksgiving holiday, Anvil does a weekly sports report that involves a sport knowledge fail by King Baby Duck, and the demos for Rage and Your Shape: Fitness Evolved 2012 are discussed. Plus Anvil and Saignement go hands-on with Saints Row: The Third, and the bitch of Black Friday is put in her place. Also another beta key for Defenders of Ardania is given away!

It's all short and sweet on Episode 120: Your Shape Gets Me In A Rage.

At E3 this year it was Saints Row: The Third that brought the most insane of artillery to the table. From its crazy antics to its style of humor the latest in the Saints Row series had but only one mission in mind: bring gamers the most fun experience anyone can fathom in an open-world title.

Saints Row: The Third continues where the second one left off. The Saints are now in control of Stilwater, and have become celebrities around the world. Unbeknownst to them, however, a rival group known as the Syndicate takes over the city, forcing the Saints off their throne of luxury. From there it's up to you to build back your reputation and reclaim your kingdom. But there are many obstacles that will keep you from reaching your goal.

The Syndicate is split into three groups: Morningstar (classic mafia-looking), Luchadores (wrestling-inspired) and Deckers (Tron-like hooligans), with the three of them owning a fair share of Stilwater. In order to win back your beloved city you must slowly regain control of it by buying property or -- the more fun way -- taking it back using the most anarchic ways possible. It doesn't come easy, especially when the police and the Special Tactics Anti-Gang Unit (or S.T.A.G., for short) are on your trail every time you fire a weapon or run someone over with your vehicle. Before you do any of that, however, your character must look the part.

The folks at Volition, Inc. went all out on the Create-A-Character aspect alone, with nearly millions of ways you can have your anti-hero look. From the wideness of your eyes to the size of your, erm, package the heavy detail placed into how you can make your Saint look like you is finely-tuned; and with a crazy amount of wardrobe you can choose from you can dress him or her in just about any way possible. You can even have them run the streets completely naked if you wanted them to! (It's pixelated, though, pervs.)

After you've created your character the real madness begins. To win back respect you must tackle on multiple missions that will have you in a shootout 20,000 feet in the air, saving lovely prostitutes from underground clubs and ships, committing a chariot getaway chase with gimps instead of horses, and (CAREFULLY!) chauffeuring a tiger in your front passenger seat; and that's a mere fraction of what you can do. There are also side missions that include Insurance Fraud (getting run over by cars for cash), Professor Genki's Super Ethical Reality Climax (a Japanese-styled game show), Tank Mayhem (blow as much shit up as possible with your tank in a given time limit), and Assassinations. It is amazing how much gameplay has been placed into Saints Row: The Third, and it can be more fun when you are in co-op mode with a friend. If you need to take a break from the main game you can easily jump into Whored More, in which you (and a friend, if you'd like) can tackle on endless waves of enemies with different weapons at your disposal.

The weapons you are given in this game range from the average to the WTF, with a heavy emphasis on the F. You could easily just use a pistol to take down your enemies, but if you want to be a kinky badass then you can arm yourself with the Penetrator (the infamous dildo bat) and smash their skulls in with sexual hilarity. There are also grenades, octopus guns, and air strikes that can be called in to take care of those pesky rival gangs and S.T.A.G. soldiers. Vehicles also come in different shapes and sizes, ranging from the simple scooters and classic cars to the tanks and Professor Genki's Manapult, the latter of which can suck up any pedestrian and shoot them out of the air to meet their maker.

While on the road you can switch on the radio, listen to news clips and even rock out to some of the best songs to be heard on any game. From the hip hop styles of Kanye West and the rocking riffs of Wavves to the electronica beats of deadmau5 and the classical sounds of Bach there is a radio station for every person out there. (My personal favorite is the Adult Swim-based one, where the DJ is Jon Glasser's character in Delocated.) Add on a great cast that includes Daniel Dae Kim, Hulk Hogan, and Sasha Grey just to name a few, and you've got yourself one hell of a soundtrack that is filled with hilarious jabs, one-liners and all-around dialogue that will make you do a double-take.

While there is much to love in Saints Row: The Third there are a couple flaws that keep it from reaching open-world perfection. The first is the flying missions, which can sometimes be a major pain to control. Because of some of the camera angles in those levels it made it almost impossible to properly aim your gun or missile-launcher at the gang members. Trust me: you will find yourself spending an hour on these types of missions alone, but not for enjoyable reasons.

The other misstep in Saints Row: The Third is its graphics. While good, they are not on-par with the majority of the games that can be found on current-gen consoles. Granted it does fit with the cartoonish elements of the game, but they could've tinkered just a bit on the characters before the game's release. I also found some rendering issues within the game, especially while flying high in one of the planes you get later on in the game. And while it sounds like the oldest complaint in the world my character got stuck in a wall a few times, so I'm crossing my fingers that an update will be released sooner or later to fix that aspect. The vehicles look gorgeous, though.

Completing the main storyline will probably take you between 12-14 hours, with the side missions tacking on another 10. One of the downsides is once a main story mission is completed you cannot go back and replay it unless you start a whole new game. Still with many classic moments to be found in this game Saints Row: The Third is the type of open-world game that merits much replay value. (If you want to collect every trophy/achievement you'll need to play through it a couple times.)

PROS:

• Hilarious story, inventive missions
• Imaginative weapons
• Great voice-acting, soundtrack one of year's best

CONS:

• Graphics aren't up to current standards
• Flying missions are a bitch to handle
• Can't replay main missions once completed

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Saints Row: The Third is a barrel of laughs and fun for anyone who thought the worlds of Grand Theft Auto were too serious for them. With a massive foray of weapons and vehicles at your disposal, not to mention tons of missions to complete, the latest adventure in Stilwater will be worth multiple visits. Lovers of hilarious games are encouraged to strap this title on and enjoy Saints Row: The Third in all of its intensity.

FINAL GRADE: 9.2 (out of ten)

With Blueonic gone the Bastards decide to give this week's show a bit of a feminine touch.

Bastette-In-Training Saignement joins the crew, as she and Anvil give their take on Batman: Arkham City, but not before going on a crazy tangent over which actors should play the people of Gotham. King Baby Duck gives his reasons why Saints Row: The Third is the most fun game out there of 2011, Saignement goes into detail on how the anniversary edition of Halo: Combat Evolve redoes a classic and Anvil goes into the good (Bruins and Pats) and bad (Penn State and NBA) of the week in sports. Plus Saignement gives a review of the new movie In Time, and an Oh For Fuck's Sake! on why those Occupy Wall Street people need to just go away. (Didn't expect that from us, did ya?) And did we mention another beta code for Defenders of Ardania?

It's all pack in neatly in Episode 119: Catwoman's Training Sessions.

Last night the folks at Deep Silver and Piranha Bytes released the first part of the behind-the-scenes look at Risen 2: Dark Waters, due in 2012 on PC, Xbox 360 and PS3. Here game designers Michael Hoge and Björn Pankratz and storywriter Jennifer Pankratz explain why they chose pirates as the topic for their latest game, Pankratz covers how the world map will help gamers on the first steps of their adventure and much more! Check out the video after the jump...

Since PAX East this year no racing title has left more excited than Jimmie Johnson's Anything With An Engine, made by the folks at Isopod Labs (a company founded by the dudes who created a little game called Vigilante 8) and Autumn Games. With each taste I had of it at both PAX and E3 the same sentence kept coming out of my mouth: This could be a Mario Kart killer. However as a follower of smaller game developers my optimism was cautious, as I've had full meals of disappointment served to me on many occasions by these lesser-known companies. After playing the final version of it, those doubts have since been trashed into scrap metal.

Players can choose from twelve racers (seven right away, five unlockable), each one of them special in every way. You can choose to race in a bathtub, a coffin, shopping cart or even a rocket, and each vehicle comes with its own crazy character to drive it for you. You can ride on thirteen different tracks, which all have their own hidden goodies and secret ways to reach victory. Throughout a regular race you can earn points by lighting up specific switches, and the more you light you the sooner you'll be able to use such tactics as boosts, ramming, missiles and mines. Here's the cool part: each missile and mine is made custom to the vehicle you're racing. For example if you choose Couch Potato (a man trapped in a mascot uniform riding a recliner) the missiles will be pizzas and the mines will consist of exploding TVs.

Anything With An Engine features a Career Mode that has eight different Cups to win (five main, three bonus). Each Cup features a mixture of every type of race in the game, ending with a duel between you and Mr. Johnson himself. Once you beat Jimmie you are given a token to unlock one of the other four racers you can hit the tracks with. Once you unlock those and win the Diamond Cup you will have the ability to play as Jimmie and his barstool from Hell.

Besides the regular races there are other modes to compete in. In Survival players will have a set time limit to escape from being in last place, which will lead to their elimination. Endurance has you facing your opponents in a long race that is determined in the end via a point system; the higher you are in the ranking at the end of each lap, the more points you will earn. No other mode will keep you on the edge of your seat than Matador, where eight racers are spilt into two groups, placed on opposite ends of the track and forced to literally go head-to-head to win. Trying to evade racers that speed towards you, not to mention trying to reach the front of the pack further than the racer at the other end, make it the sort of nail-biting racing experience that gamers have been clamoring for.

As you race your vehicle will get beaten up, which is where the Pit Stop comes in handy. By pushing the Repair button fast enough not only will your vehicle be good as new, but your weapons will be replenished. Be careful, for if you don't reach a Pit Stop in time your vehicle will explode, possibly pushing you back to last place. It makes me wonder why many kart racers -- or racing games period -- don't have a feature like this, as it adds on to the strategic experience of racing.

Strategy plays a major role in how to win a race. You're given boosts, missiles and mines, but it's about how and when you properly use them that will either help or hinder your chances at a victory. You can have one of your mines sticking out in the back of your vehicle to keep people from ramming behind you, but at the same time it takes away a bit of your speed. Using your Boost will come in handy, but if you use it too soon another racer might come up from behind and pass you. Then there is the red buttons on the track, which will spring Gotcha! traps on you or your opponents if triggered at the right moment. You can even find secret pathways on the track that will lead you past your opponents and into first place. Don't think that victory will come easy, as these races are just about neck-and-neck at every corner of the track. (Don't be surprised if one of your opponents passes you at the very last second of the race and steals your victory away.)

While the control aspect of the game is standout, there is but one minor gripe I had with racing in Anything With An Engine. In order to use Boost you need to double-tap the Gas button to activate it, which can sometimes lead to a quick slowing down of your vehicle if not done properly. I'm surprised that one of the other buttons that's not used wasn't chosen to be just the Boost button, as it would've made it a bit easier to operate it. However this tiny problem does not take away anything from the experience of this title, as it is much harder to not use Boost the right way.

While there isn't many racers to choose from the variety you get from each character will keep you entertained for as long as you want to race. There will also be some DLC content later on in the year that will feature more racers to choose from, the first of which will be talk show host Jimmy Fallon. (Proceeds from that specific DLC will go to the American Red Cross, so not only will you be downloading another fun vehicle but you'll also be helping out a good cause.) Players can also race online with one another from across the globe (except for the Wii version, sadly), as well as do split-screen mode in the same room, guaranteeing much craziness for all to enjoy.

Anything With An Engine is one unique title, as Jimmie Johnson himself was involved with creating much of the style of the game. Having an actual NASCAR racer, not to mention one of the world's best, on-hand to help design a kart racer had many advantages. Yes, it has much cartoonish elements thanks in part to its racers and usage of weapons, but its handling, steering and Pit Stop usage help add a sort of realism to the insanity on the tracks. It's that sort of combination that makes Anything With An Engine one amazing thrill ride around the track.

PROS:

• Edge-of-your-seat racing modes
• Fun characters, tracks and weaponry
• Solid control scheme, vehicle mechanics

CONS:

• Last-second losses will probably leave you frustrated
• Boost could've had its own button

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Jimmie Johnson's Anything With An Engine might not be this year's prettiest racer out there, but it is certainly the most fun and exciting. Isopod Labs, Autumn Games and Jimmie Johnson have developed something that both Sony and Microsoft have failed to accomplish on their own: a game that not only rivals Mario Kart, but also makes a fool out of it. If that statement doesn't make you run out and give Anything With An Engine a spin, maybe this will: it's only $30. Your move, Nintendo!

FINAL GRADE: 9.6 (out of ten)

Review copy provided by the folks at Isopod Labs

One of most popular book series (which has also been adapted into a popular HBO program) is now coming to a console near you...

In press release today Atlus has announced that it is planning to release a video game adaptation of Game of Thrones, which will be developed by Cyanide Studios. Launching in 2012 on Xbox 360, PS3 and PC the role-playing game will be an original story developed under the supervision of series creator George R. R. Martin, and will feature the likenesses of the worlds and actors portraying the characters. No word on if the actors themselves will be voicing the characters, though more will be revealed before the release date.

Here is more info regarding Game of Thrones from the press release:

In this 30-plus hour action RPG, players will enter the gritty and medieval fantasy world of Westeros. As one of two original characters with disparate motivations, both former soldiers of Robert's Rebellion, players will forge alliances and wage battles as they play a pivotal role in the ongoing war for power of the Seven Kingdoms. Their journey will span numerous quests, during which they will interact with many characters and make key decisions that impact the realm.

Standing before the majesty and bitter isolation of the Wall or walking through the streets and alleys of King's Landing, players will not simply pass by locations and characters integral to the series; they will explore and interact with them, meeting and learning about the people and history that defines them and their importance. Key decisions and major events will have meaningful impact on Westeros, allowing the player to witness how the game world evolves over time based on their actions or inactions. Moreover, "Game of Thrones" introduces an innovative "active slowdown tactical combat engine" in which combat mirrors the series' thoughtful approach to war and politics: fighting slows but never stops entirely, forcing the player to make quick, pressured choices before their enemy strikes again.

For more information visit the game's official site.